2009 November : HiLife2B

Posts published during November, 2009

November 29, 2009

What You Can Learn From Tying a Tie

So the other night, I was taking a look at a pretty old video by Tim Ferriss (if you love lifestyle design, I’m sure you already know who he is) in which he claimed he could teach people how to “tie the perfect tie“.

It being a pretty tame Friday night in the suburbs, I decided to try my luck, get an old tie, and see just how good Tim’s advice was. If you watch the video, Tim gives clear instructions on everything he does. It’s easy to see his finger movements, he doesn’t go too fast (even so, that’s what the pause button is for), and he pauses every so often to explain the steps.

It seemed pretty simple. Even as a first-time tier, I was fairly confident that I’d pull it off without a hitch. Well, you can guess what happened next.

I foolishly assumed to myself, “Well, duh. I’m not going to get it the first time. I’ll just do it again.” And that’s exactly what I did. I did it again…and again…and again…and again…and…

“THAT’S IT!” I said as I ripped the mangled tie off of my neck. There was really no point in trying anymore. I couldn’t do it. But, just then, all the knowledge and common sense I’ve gained throughout life came flooding back to me. It hit me. This is exactly what’s supposed to happen.

Life is full of knots, but you can always untie them

You’re supposed to try and fail, and try and fail again. This is life. No one smart or stupid, old or young, pretty or ugly, religious or godless can deviate from this path. We make mistakes. Falling down is frequent and usually unforgiving.

I can’t count how many times I’ve tried to do it just right, to tie the perfect tie. The tie would get knotted up, or it would be too loose, prompting me to start all over again. With every mistake I became more and more frustrated.

Nonetheless, I always knew that I had the ability to try again. The ball was in my court. I could either give up now and blame the tie for not tying right (yeah, blaming inanimate objects is smart) or I could take responsibility and starting tying.

Behold, the Perfect Tie

It took me about a half hour to get it right, but I finally pulled it off. Alright, so it wasn’t the best tie ever created, but it was a far cry from where I was initially. It just goes to show that with a little confidence and a LOT of willpower and patience, you can do almost anything.

It’s only fitting that I end on this quote:

“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

P.S. Want to see my tie?

Um, about the shirt… yeah, I needed something to wear the tie with. Hey, at least it almost matches

photo credit: Misserion

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26 comments

November 23, 2009

When You Get Inspired, Act On It Before It’s Too Late

Everyday we get inspired. Whether it’s a piece of writing, or music, a painting, or a speech, something sounds the call to action for all of us. For me, it was video interview I stumbled upon (literally folks, it was accidental) at Jun’s blog at Viralogy.

Jun was interviewing a 19-year-old girl (video says she’s 17, but her blog says she’s 19) named Jessica who started her first business at the age of 13, but finally met success earlier this year with a new business.

In an instant, I was inspired – by how young she was and how much she persisted in order to become an entrepreneur. She’s basically living my dream. I loved the entire interview, but what resonated with me the most was this quote right here:

“People think too much and do too little.”

It seemed like she was talking directly at me. As if she was telling me, “Why aren’t you doing something? You have homework, huh? So do I and I own a business! What are you doing? Make something happen!”

All this time, I’ve been thinking about how long it will take to get this blog to where I want to be, get to a place to where I’ll be successful, get to a moment when I’ll completely own my life, and here this girl is doing it!

There are times when we all get inspired and act as if we want to do something cool or exciting whether or not it’s bound to fail. But then we just let the moment pass over us, due to thinking the feeling of inspiration will last forever or thinking up all the ways it won’t work.

We’ve got to stop thinking so much

Whenever you get inspired, treat it as a blessing. It only happens every so often, but when it does, capture the moment. Use the inspiration to fuel both your actions and your thoughts. It’s not enough to just feel inspired – you have to act on those feelings.

Stop thinking of a failure or a success that hasn’t happened yet. If you never try, you’ll never fail, but you’ll never succeed either.

I wish Jessica all the best – Thanks for inspiring me to action!

P.S. I’ll be unveiling something for the blog pretty soon (no, it’s not an ebook and might not be all that big of a deal for you, but it is for me )

P.S.S. I just got a new Facebook page for the site. Join the club!

Have you ever been inspired to action? Do you have something in mind you’ve been mulling over until now? The lines are open.

photo credit: alicepopkorn

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17 comments

November 19, 2009

It’s Almost Thanksgiving: What Are You Thankful For?

Ah, yes, Thanksgiving Day; the event that the media mostly glosses over because it’s not as profitable as Christmas, but is just as important. It’s the day on which we reflect on the past, present, and future to think about what we’re grateful and thankful for.

Do you realize that a week from today, it will be Thanksgiving?

I suppose that it may not be a big deal, but in all honesty, it encompasses the togetherness that I’ve been missing a lot while away at college. I miss being home. I miss just relaxing with my family, pissing my younger sisters off, and playing my Playstation (I’ll always be a kid ).

So instead of badgering you guys with the “morals” of Thanksgiving Day and what it should mean to you, I’d much rather share with you what I find worthy enough to be thankful for.

What I’m thankful for

I’m thankful for my mom who has pushed me farther than anyone else could ever hope to push me. I’m thankful for her patience and the wisdom she has instilled in me.

I’m thankful for the tight-knit community I’ve garnered here on my humble blog. I’m thankful for the friendships I’ve made because of it.

I’m thankful for all of the failures I’ve accrued up to this point. I realize now that if I had never failed, I never would have succeeded.

I’m thankful for the Internet – without which none of this would be possible.

I’m thankful for the friends that encourage me and the friends that laugh at my ambitions. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t been spurred onwards by your encouragement, and hadn’t been stubborn towards your mockery.

I’m thankful for all of the memories I had as a child, both the good times and the bad. When times got hard, I’ve looked to them multiple times and realized things always seemed to work out for me in the end.

I’m thankful for the word “underdog” because that’s who I usually tend to be. Seriously, being underestimated by a lot of people is pretty exhilarating.

Most of all, I’m thankful for the life I have now. I hope to keep on living for many more years to come.

What are you thankful for? Are you grateful for the life you live now? Where will you be on Thanksgiving? Share your story.

photo credit: Ingrid!

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16 comments

November 16, 2009

The Lazy Man’s Secret to Getting Motivated

Human emotions are fickle things. One moment, you’re up and at ‘em – ready to take on any challenge. The next, you feel as if you can’t achieve anything, and are skeptical you ever thought you could in the first place. But what do you expect? You can’t be high on life all of the time: there has to be a time when you feel unmotivated to do anything.

Lately, I’ve been falling into one of these slumps. You might even say that I’ve gotten a bit lazy. Not in terms of blogging (god forbid), but in terms of college life, in general.

I can hear you now: “WHAT?! What is wrong with you! I hope you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking…”

No, no, don’t worry. I’m not dropping out. It ‘s just that recently, I’ve been asking myself what’s the point in being here. Why am I doing work that I feel nothing for? Is this really all my life will amount to be? Studying day in, day out, feeling tired all the time? Choosing to sleep rather than work on my website?

It’s madness, I tell you. I admit, sometimes I feel dropping out of school is the answer. Maybe that way, I’ll have plenty of time to start a business.

Of course, then I remember what happened over the summer…

But over summer break (when I had all the time in the world) I was still unmotivated. I was in the house, day in, day out, doing nothing besides blogging. It was torture. I loved blogging, but, man, did I need some variety. I was itching to come to college, meet my old friends, and get back to work. I thought that would motivate me.

I was wrong

I thought returning to college would solve my motivation problem, but it didn’t really do anything to it. It was just a change of venue.

Something had to be done. Would I feel this way forever?

Feeling panicky, I had a talk with my mom. She then proceeded to tell me why I was in college (she doesn’t tend to beat around the bush ).

The reason why I’m here

She reminded me of the reason I was in college. I wasn’t here to simply get a degree. I wasn’t here just to get good grades (though she stressed a bunch of times that I have to do this regardless of how I feel). I was here to get the tools I needed to become successful. To become my “ideal self”. To become an entrepreneur – some who set his own hours to work.

Rediscover the source of your motivation

The secret is simply to go back to the beginning. Remember why you do what you do everyday. When we’re working towards an end we desire, we tend to forget the reason we’ve worked so hard for it in the first place.

There will be times when we feel on top of the world: when we’re sure life will be alright. And there will be times when we feel like crap: like we’re unsure of what the future holds for us. But the feelings of anticipation, anger, sadness, happiness, frustration – it’s all worthwhile just to rediscover your passion.

Go back to the beginning. What got you motivated? Why are you going through life as you are now?

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

photo credit: glangille

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2 comments

November 12, 2009

Guest Post Bonanza! (And Some Updates)

Hey guys, reporting in from HQ. If most of you aren’t already aware, I’ve been guest posting on a multitude of other blogs in recent weeks.

Take a gander at some of my latest and greatest guest posts:

How to Make a Difference Without a Whole Lot of Money | The Jungle of Life

How Reading Books Saved My Life | World’s Strongest Librarian

Why Losing Some of the Time is Necessary to Winning All of the Time | Quest for Balance

Why You Struggle to Connect With Others | The Change Blog

Tell Stories ~ It’s Good For You | Psi Mentor

What else I’ve been up to

- Well, I had a blast downtown last weekend. Why, you ask? Because I spent the whole morning taking part in the Levity Project! (Click here for more information on what the Levity Project is.) It was really fun laughing and spreading joy with people that I usually just speak with online. This just confirms that connections made over the net run just as deep as those made in real life.

- My up-and-coming website is coming along…. very slowly. School work is pretty time-consuming, so I only have time to really work on it during the weekends. The name of the game now is content creation – I’ll tell you much more once I get closer to completion (whenever that will be).

- A few more design changes coming soon that’ll hopefully facilitate more fluid convo in this small, but strong community

That’s all folks! I’m disabling comments for now, but don’t fret! Go check out my guest posts and comment on those, or drop me a line on Twitter!

Until next time, my friends,

John

photo credit: a4gpa

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20 comments

November 9, 2009

When Taking Action, Be the Snail and Not the Rock

I recently completed one of my life goals yesterday: I went downtown (Chicago if you’re curious) alone. Yes, I know that it may not be a big deal, and yes, going downtown is probably an everyday occurrence for most of you, but for me, this was HUGE.

Among my friends, I’m notorious for not being able to specify where I am by anything other than building name, even if I’ve been in a particular area over a dozen times. I’m the guy that knows exactly where everything is, but can’t give specific directions on how to get there.

I had been meaning to go downtown for ages now. I really was. I wanted to traverse the windy city and explore it to the fullest. I pictured myself, camera in hand, meeting new people, walking through the malls, eating at a hot dog stand – as you can see, I had the vision.

But, you see, whenever I talked about this goal that I so vividly pictured in my head, I tended to do nothing afterwards. I’d talk a big game, but I wouldn’t feel the need to show anything for it.

I guess somehow I thought my goal would just achieve itself (as I type this, I’m chuckling to myself). How stupid I was being thinking that somehow problems would just solve themselves!

I realize now that what I was doing was just sugar-talking (it sounds sweet, but in the end, it’s just talk). I wasn’t making any headway on what I wanted to do. My goal just sat there in the back of my head, gathering dust.

I was the rock

In more ways than one, you could say I was acting like a rock. Stubborn as ever, not caring if I achieved my goal or not, but still willing to blab about it. I didn’t move backwards, forwards, sideways, anyways – I just stood still. No progress was lost or gained. The winds of change blew right past me. You could even say that it was eroding away my self respect over time.

But at some point, I got tired of being the rock. People were out there actually doing things. And what was I doing? Absolutely nothing, that’s what.

Be the snail

In one fell swoop, I decided to graduate my mindset: from rock to snail. No longer would I sit idle, forever waiting for the right moment. I would take a chance, ease in and hope for the best. I knew that the best course of action wasn’t just to start taking buses and trains by myself, hoping to make it to Chicago (that would be stupid). Instead I inched toward my goal, going on trips with friends to get a lay of the land. I would sometimes wander off to be a little adventurous outside of the group and return shortly after.

In time, I would be ready to face one of my biggest challenges yet.

Did I succeed?

Being a snail paid off in a big way: so much so that I succeeded. It wasn’t as difficult as I imagined, to be honest. I guess I was being hard-headed for no reason. But now I know that whenever I tackle a goal, simply be a snail.

“In philosophy if you aren’t moving at a snail’s pace you aren’t moving at all.” – Iris Murdoch

How are you going about achieving your goals? Are you slowly making progress or are you not making any at all?

photo credit: Robert Thomson

16 comments

November 5, 2009

Thank You!

I’d just like to say thanks to my nearly 200 subscribers. Some of you have been with me since I started this blog as a personal development/motivational hangout. For that, I am truly humbled.

I’m so happy to have a great community where I can express myself. I feel like I can let everything out of my system, yell at the top of my lungs, and dream the highest dreams when I write on my blog!

I’m very grateful to have made so many relationships in such a short time. You guys have no idea how you’ve positively affected my life. Because of you, I’m going to keep moving forward towards my dreams, no matter how hard it gets.

So, once again, I am proud to say thank you.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

“Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living!” – Amanda Bradley

P.S. Introduce yourself (if you haven’t already) so I can personally thank you in the comments section .
photo credit: B Rosen

23 comments

November 2, 2009

Grab Missed Opportunities By Not Caring About the Outcome

Time is our most precious resource. Everything that happens in the world revolves around it. We do everything we can to reclaim it. It’s one of the many things we wish we could control.

We grow, we age, we die. After that, life starts all over again.

Yet even after knowing this (that our time is limited) we still hesitate in the face of what we truly want. When we’re presented with an opportunity to shine or to attain something, we act like if we mess up this time, it’s over. So instead of trying and actually attempting to take a chance, we let opportunities pass us by. I used to be a prime example of this.

Speaking aloud in class was intimidating for me. It would make my brain literally freeze up. Whenever I was called on to answer a question, I’d try and play it off in a funny way (Ha, ha, ha I wouldn’t know the answer. Why call on me?).

You could say that I was just afraid of being wrong, or maybe I was just shy. But that actually wasn’t the case.

The reason we hesitate

So why do we hesitate to grab opportunities as we see them?

Why is it that people have business ideas that they know will be good, and still don’t take it? Why is it that people know they have talent, but they don’t try and share it with others? Why is it that people know they can do more, but settle for less?

In truth, it’s simply because we don’t believe that we’ll be right. We don’t expect the opportunity will work out for us. We place too much importance on the outcome.

A majority of the times I was called on in class, I knew I was right. I knew I could answer the questions – I just didn’t expect things to work out.

So I’ve complied two tips that are incremental in grabbing opportunities as they come:

Practice the art of insignificance

Stop putting importance on trivial aspects surrounding an opportunity you may be presented with. Questions you ask yourself like “Is this really possible?” and “Will it work?” only serve to waste time and ultimately hurt you in the long run. Instead, believe that what you’re faced with isn’t a big deal. Whether you achieve it now or later doesn’t matter. All you know is that you will achieve it.

Picture yourself not getting it

Visualization is a powerful technique in grabbing missed opportunities. But have you ever tried visualizing your failure and acting in spite of it? It’s really astonishing how effective this is. If you try and fail, hey, you knew it would happen anyway. But if you try and succeed, you get that ‘wow’ feeling. You’ll probably think to yourself, “Hmm, maybe I can do this…”

Life goes on, and so will you

I’m sure that you have plenty of regrets for not taking opportunities that presented themselves to you:

- not taking that business deal

- not taking your son/daughter to that modeling gig

- not taking that day off

- not cheering up your friend who may be down

You may have let some opportunities slip (and that’s okay), but don’t let that happen again.

If you’re not going after something you desire with all your heart, something is wrong with you. Stop hesitating. Feel the fear and act anyways. Place importance on the act of trying and not the outcome.

Life is more generous than we make it out to be. There are opportunities everywhere. All you have to do is start taking them.

“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.” – Orison Swett Marden

photo credit: Victori∀

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What You Can Learn From Tying a Tie