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I’m not a fearful man. Even if I was asked, I wouldn’t be able to provide you with a long list of fears. Am I afraid of the dark? No, not a big issue, to say the least. Without darkness there can be no light. Not to say that I would walk out alone at 2:00 am to prove my fearlessness. I’m fearless, not stupid.
Am I afraid of death? I figure, why should I bother? Death will come for all of us, one way or another. There can be no beginning (birth) without an end (death). Again, this doesn’t mean I would willingly jump into an ocean (can’t swim…yet) or skydive without a parachute. I’m fearless, not stupid.
And even if we, as a whole, get startled by the little things (bumps in the night, lightning, mosquitoes landing on us, embarrassment) it doesn’t necessarily mean we’re afraid of them. It just means we haven’t been exposed to it enough.
If I was struck by lightning 26 times and lived, you can bet if lightning struck a tree a few miles away, I wouldn’t even flinch. I’d probably chuckle.
But the thing is, there are some things we can’t simply get used to. You can’t just have a couple hundred near-death experiences and expect to become comfortable with death; mostly because somewhere in between those near-death experiences, you might actually die.
Sometimes all it takes to get rid of or deal with your fears is to:
- Accept your fear; actually acknowledge that you are afraid
- Witness someone else overcome/deal with it
- Take a logical course of action
Rather than merely suggest a solution, I’m taking this approach with a few of my greatest fears as well.
Talking the talking, but never walking the walk
This is something I’ve been scared of for a long time. I’d say I’d become all of these things (entrepreneur, world traveler, rock start, etc.) but at the end of my four years in college, I’d have completed none of them. I fear never really achieving ANY of my goals. Telling everyone my intentions seems like a bold thing to do, but if I never get around to doing any of them, what’s the point?
Solution: I’ve decided that it’s much better to walk the walk at the same time I talk the talk. That way, I have something to show for my efforts, and I don’t have to worry about getting something done – I’ve already started 
.
Walking the walk, but feeling like I have to act a certain way
It’s like when you become an authority (through blogging or otherwise). You get all this exposure, it’s great and all, but there’s still this pressure to “act right”. To not immature. I can just picture someone saying me, “You own a business, for Pete’s sake. Act like it!”
Solution: I have to realize that nobody’s perfect. If I ever become an authority, I won’t compromise who I am for what others want me to be. Gary Vaynerchuk is himself every time he does a video on WineLibraryTV. I’m not saying he’s immature, but he’s definitely not your everyday, successful person. He’s just being himself.
And for a very random fear:
Big, fat, furry, black and yellow…bees
Over the summer, I was checking the mail (just one of my many exciting summer highlights) and I heard the sound of an electric razor on the porch. I was like “What? Is that…” Just a slight turn of my head and I found myself mere feet away from an enormous black and yellow monstrosity.
“WHOA!” I yelled. I scrambled into the house, trembling with fear. When I looked out it was still there. Flying. In a circle. I kept thinking to myself, “How can something that huge stay in the air?” Since then, it returned infrequently during the summer.
Solution: When that thing returns next summer, I’ll have to be ready. Maybe I’ll let it land on me. Who knows? Insects are known to be pretty friendly. And even if it did sting me, I’m bigger and stronger. One sting and that bad boy’s toast.
Or I could just watch this video over and over again:
Ah, I feel better already…
How are you dealing with your greatest fears? Do you have a fear you just can’t seem to deal with (or get rid off)? The lines are open…
*Aside* Check out my very first interview at Steven’s personal development blog, Human Explosion. I have to admit, I look pretty awesome rockin’ out as a stick figure
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Overcoming a fear is an achievement in itself, so I set out to accomplish this achievement like I would any other: with clarity.
I sit down with a pen and a pad and I clear out my head. I set my goals and my fears at the same time. A lot of people just set there goals but fear-setting is equally important.
Just as they say that getting your goals down on paper is the first step in bringing them to fruition, it’s the same with fears.
It’s simple. Ask yourself, “what do I fear, or what is the worst thing that can happen?” As you write it out, you begin to create the most terrifying thing that you expect to happen until you can’t think of anything else and at the same time, you envision it. Then you decide how to handle it. It’s like preplanning. Can you live through that scenario? You begin to see how foolish it is and at the same time, you figure out a way to handle the result, whatever it may be, so when you find yourself ready to face your fear, you’re in a position that isn’t so scary anymore.
You’ve been reading Tim Ferriss’s book haven’t you
Having clarity and preplanning really does help. I sat down and did it yesterday, and now I’m not so scared anymore. Thanks Robert.
Yeah I did read it once. The four-hour work week isn’t for me but I did learn a couple of things about productivity.
But I think clarity is key. It’s interesting how we can have these universal ideas, and they’re universal so we think they’re mutually and universally understood; yet, we all define them uniquely our own way. Things like love, success, failure, etc. For example, I went over to This bread place to pick up some pastries and they said they were “fresh.” They certantly tasted and smelled fresh, but they made them overnight and it was like 7:00 am in the morning. Not that that took away the quality or anything but for some reason what they had called fresh, I would have maybe called a leftover. After thinking it over, how much fresher could it get than that.
But that’s beside the point of this post so I’ll stop, lol.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Darren Sproat, John Anyasor. John Anyasor said: New at HiLife2B How to Annihilate (or Deal With) Your Greatest Fears: I’m not a fearful man. Even if I was asked,… http://bit.ly/5azu2G [...]
Sometimes, it seems that fears will never end. I hope that some day they do, but I tried not to be afraid of fear.
I have been fearing success. Crazy, I know! But true. I don’t know what is means to have a lot of money. So, I find myself sabotaging a good thing.
Now, I have entered a stage in my life where I am just going with the flow of life. I think this is important. I am not being lazy. When opportunity presents itself, I am saying YES!
When you are afraid… it is important to feel the fear, acknowledge it (as you said John) and move forward anyway.
Once you move, you will find that the thing that you feared was nothing at all.
Gerlaine´s last blog ..Playing The Victim | Life Roles
Fearing success, where have I heard that before
Yeah, it gets to be kind of annoying. But inaction due to fear is the worst thing for us. Like you said, act in spite of fear.
LOL, just so you know…if the bee stings you, it’s toast anyway. They lose their stingers (and their guts go with them) when they sting. Bees die from the act of stinging. Every time a bee stings, it’s his last time.
Now a wasp on the other hand….
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Paying It Forward
Yeah, I know, but it still hurts! I’m okay with wasps. It’s just that the bee I saw was enormous. I’d never thought a bee like that existed…
I wrote a mad long message before, but I don’t think that comment luv is working. I clicked submit and my comment did not post. I see that you don’t have the normal amount of comments as usual. My friend Drew was having the same problem. I talked to him about that on his blog and he had to remove comment luv and said that he would check it out later.
Gerlaine´s last blog ..Playing The Victim | Life Roles
Don’t worry, sometimes comments get caught in the spam folder. No worries
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by darrensproat: How to Annihilate (or Deal With) Your Greatest Fears http://bit.ly/58T6Fx (via @CJAnyasor)…
Hey John.
You sure don’t have to act a certain way. I sure don’t also. Good call about Gary there. We don’t have to stick to some confined set of actions and behaviors to take. Those rules are for those that think they are the rules set in stone.
Good call about walking the walk at the same time as talking the talk. People are much more supportive of that. They also notice very quickly when you walk the walk. It is hard to not notice when someone is in tune with what they are saying, because they start to say it more boldly, add comical entertainment, challenge others, and so on. We have to get into that state. One example that comes to mind is Steve Pavlina who pointed out that he got much more like this in later years of his writing, so we might as well take his learning experience and apply it now, being bold before we eventually figure out we should have been bold.
This site is terrible~ I’m just kidding. That takes boldness to make a joke though.
Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..You Don’t Know What Works Until You Fully Try
Great thoughts here Armen. No more declaration without physical representation. Ha ha, yeah you’re bold alright
Of course, actions speak louder than words.
John, Seriously, I have to disagree with some of the views you articulated in this blog post. Though I can acknowledge that you present logical and legitimate ways to overcome certain fears, I cannot help but to disagree with the perception that one’s ever dream has to be accomplished all in a set time. In your case, it is your four years in college. I have to remind myself why I went to college in the first place: I was partly because I desired so much to be a successful person but it is also because I know that it is where I will acquire ht skills necessary to manage my successes in when they come.
It is cliched to make reference to famous people and their success but it is also factual and that is what matters. So, Ben Carson had his challenges throughout his school years and regardless of his circumstances he had goals (To be acheived in a particular time ) but unlike many people, he was not caught up with the idea of having all those goals materialized immediately.
My point is, Give yourself some time. Enjoy your youth! I will make all the difference in how you handle your INEVITABLE success!
Tamari, when do not disagree with me? (kidding…sort of)
Kind of confused how it’s cliche to cite references… if it happened, it happened. Nothing wrong with citing examples, right? Steve Pavlina is another example. He doesn’t try to act “proper”, he’s just himself. He doesn’t hide anything about himself: that makes him real and unique.
And as if trying to obtain my goals within four years is “immediate”…
Every time you say “enjoy my youth” you’re just telling me to forget about my goals. Have fun while it lasts, right? But why should it have to last for only so long? Why live it up now, and regret not working on my goals (that could yield more fun for me for the rest of my life after college)?
By all means, have the enjoyment that comes with having fun without future prospects save for graduate school. In four years, you’ll be surfing job application websites while I’ll be surfing the big waves in Costa Rica…
I think the idea is to enjoy the small successes along the way. While you are making your way, life should not be hard and grueling all the time. You will find that once you meet a certain measure of success it will still be necessary to create more success. So, should that path be long, hard and grueling, too?. No. Enjoy along the way! Each day should feel “as good as possible.”
There will be days of solitude and days filled with friends. There will be days full of passion and there will be days that seem like they will never end. I say find a rare balance between those days my friend and yes Enjoy Your Youth!
You should follow your bliss. That will lead you to success. I am learning that the hard way teaches you many lessons that you will inevitably learn, but the blissful (and still not so easy way) gets you there with much more love, appreciation and understanding.
Enjoying Your Youth doesn’t mean don’t work hard. At least, not in my book. Enjoy Your Youth means don’t forget to enjoy each step of the Journey and each piece of the process for when you are older you will learn that life was only the journey… life was only the process… it never was the destinations.
Gerlaine´s last blog ..How to Live Better
[...] for updates on this topic.Powered by WP Greet Box I was reading John Chukwuma’s blog post How to Annihilate (or Deal With) Your Greatest Fears HiLife2B.com. I saw that someone told this young man to simply “Enjoy Your Youth.” [...]
I believe if you face your fears by watching someone else do it and then you both do it together and spread that around with people whom you know and trust, you can actually over come your fears.
This may not work for everyone but something to think about.
Eric´s last blog ..Lets Help Each Other