Posts archived in Personal Development

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July 19, 2010

Be More Than the Average Person

The ones who do more than the average get extremely good results.

The man who works hard every single day gets the most compensation for his efforts, while the guy who works strictly on weekdays receives his standard pay.

The girl who dances without limits, who tries her very hardest, and instills passion in every twirl, jump, and hip movement will become a master of the dancing arts yet, while the competition practices at set times throughout the week, never straying from their schedules.

In our society, there are only people who do the standard affair and people who do much more than is necessary.

Generally, people aren’t comfortable being or doing more than they are. They will do as much as they can to keep from looking awkward, or weird, or self conscious. In the process, they end up looking like all of these things anyway.

Very few people are bold enough to be themselves. Those who are will do as they please, whistle as they walk, and throw paint on the bland and the dull to make it into art just because they feel like it.

As a result, these people are looked down upon. And it’s right that they should be, correct? I mean, how can they act so out of the ordinary and expect to be treated like everyone else?

And that’s just it. They don’t.

To be treated like everyone else is to be treated like jut another person. Just another worker bee. Another cog in society going where everybody else goes. This is why the bold decide to be different.

Because when at first they are ostracized, in time someone will say:

“Whatever you’re doing… that’s neat!”

And then another one will say that and then another. And another. And then, like magic, a movement is born and the one who is bold becomes the leader put in the front of it.

Why do you think the ones going against the norms are singled out? Why do you think they have an easier (or should I say, more fun) time getting to where they want to be?

Why do you think the ones who are different get extremely good results?

Because it makes them indispensable.

The world has enough people running around who are exact clones of one another. Those who have the guts to stand out and be different already realize this. And, inherently, the rest of us know it as well.

No one is born restricted

As children we are free to deem the world our oyster. But over time, we are given rules (through parental guidance or school training) that force us to obey. We are given orders to sit still and pay attention. Be quiet and draw within the lines.

Use the right colors for the right picture.

So as these rules are applied to the actions we do and to the way we live our lives everyday. Eventually it becomes a habit. And in the end, it becomes who we are.

But the few that break through this programming are the “glitches”. The individuals with a spirit that standardizing rules and behavior-management laws can’t control. These people are more than the average person.

How to be more

You too can be more than the average person. You don’t have to be another worker destined for corporate ladder climbership. You can create your own separate identity… an identity far more valuable than you ever imagined.

This is what you have to do.

1. Encourage breaks in perspective

Your perspective is your reality. When you see something happen that you never thought was ever possible, this is called a break in perspective. Find as many of these as you can. If you think you can’t do something because it seems way too out of the ordinary, assume you’re probably wrong. I would’ve never guessed that a mere child (Justin Bieber) would be the focus of the most popular video on a social networking site — and he’s not even that great of a singer. But what makes him stand out is that he’s different: he’s a child with a half-way decent voice discovered by Usher.

Look for the weird feats, believe in bold accomplishments, and aspire one in a million chances. You just might be able to pull one off.

2. Read the biographies of the indispensable

Do you think that you’re the only one pushing to be unique in a world of conformity? Countless others just like you are struggling to make the world their own. And through these struggles come amazing feats — the impact of which you should be taking advantage of.

With the “safety” of a consistent paycheck calling to you, it can be difficult to choose a path less beaten and control your own life. Fortunately, there are individuals who have already attained what you seek – a life that’s better than average – and you can use their accomplishments to fuel your desire.

3. Act with your own incentives

Average people have the typical incentives – marry so they can have kids, have kids because it seems like the next step, get a job so they can make money. Incentives that are taken up for little personal reason aren’t worth shooting for. Aim for incentives that are all your own and greatly improve your enjoyment of life.

Do you think the artist paints because art sells? No, he paints because he loves to do it. The extraordinary dancer dances because it’s her passion. From embracing what you enjoy, you gain personal fulfillment and acceptance.

So don’t be one who goes with the flow. Get a job that you love. Live a life that you’ll love. Take on challenges that inspire you to have them bested.

Act with your own incentive.

4. Infuse quality with time

There is no such thing as “closing time” on a mind motivated above the average. Even more so, there is also no such thing as working 9 -5 or any sort of set time line. If the work you get enjoyment from requires you to do a project that will take most of the day to complete, you wouldn’t complain. Because it’s your work.

You can never work too much or toil too little, as long as every minute is dedicated to quality. Long ago, time was perceived to be valuable. Farmers took great care in making the most delicious crops around. Owners took great pains to see their customers smile.

Now, we are in a time where quality is sacrificed for the sake of speed and efficiency. Just getting a product out matters more than creating quality. The average person values time over quality. The above average person values both.

The average person wastes time doing needless tasks. The above average person invests time in quality, understanding that value takes time to make.

You don’t have to be average

This took me a while to realize, being swamped underneath the delusion of “saving time” and “making deadlines”. While these things are vital tools in motivating you to do great work, never sacrifice yourself or your uniqueness just to get by and get things done. Chances are you’ve been “just getting by” your entire life. Doing just enough to pass on to the next stage.

Forget the next stage and forget about passing on. I used to always tell myself, “I can’t wait until this tedious period in my life is over, then I can do what I want”. Foolish words I know them now to be. If you can’t control your life now, then you’ll never be able to. This is something the average person already knows, but refuses to accept.

Until the day they die, they will live under the heel of someone else’s paycheck, most likely that of their boss. And when their social security checks come in, whether they’re currently working or not at the ripe, old, go-crazy-with-your-money age of 65, then they will know:

To live as average is to live a life controlled by others. You have to be more to be free.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Llima

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July 1, 2010

The Truth Behind Doing Work You Love

The other night, while I was working on my e-book (details coming soon), I asked myself why I was doing this. Why go through so much pain for one e-book when I can spend my vacation basking in the sun or getting paid the traditional way?

Let’s sit on this idea for a second. It’s summer. There are jobs that I could’ve easily applied for and gotten hired to do. I know plenty of people who could recommend me for very good positions.

So, why am I busting my butt trying to get this e-book done instead of selling out and getting employed like the greater portion of college kids my age do? Why am I doing such hard work that’s so far been yielding me no payment?

I’m not going to get any sort of medal. Maybe a few thousand people will get to see the result of my hard labor. Even fewer will decide to purchase it.

It’s funny that when I’m in the thick of difficult work that I ask myself this. And then the answer came to me, as if I was struck by neural lightning:

Because I enjoyed doing it.

But in an instant, I had another conundrum. I already knew that I enjoyed it. But why is it so difficult? I thought doing what you love was supposed to be easy?

Then another answer came to me in my somewhat enlightened state:

For anything to be a success, hard work is necessary. Hard work is what separates the winners from the losers; the expendable from the indispensable.

A wake-up call already woken up to

Somewhere along the line, we’ve seem to have forgotten the adjective that goes in front of the word “work”.

All the time I hear the gurus say we should be doing “work that matters”. Instead we should be telling ourselves to do “hard work” that matters. I don’t know about you, but I get the notion that most of us think doing what we love is going to be easy.

That the four-hour work week is acquired by working for four hours of week from the get-go.

That doing what you love is all fun in the sun while you get to work from anywhere.

Unfortunately, when you actually test that theory, it’s proven that only the opposite is true.

Whether you’re pushing pencils, or striving to increase awareness about the impact humanity is having on the world. Whether you’re a famous actor on the stages of Broadway, or sitting at the desk in another one of those gray cubicles. Whether you’re doing what you love or doing what you hate.

It all takes hard work.

Hard work and passion go hand in hand

“When you live for a strong purpose, then hard work isn’t an option. It’s a necessity.” – Steve Pavlina

When you really care about something (maybe you want to start a movement and bring change) you can’t mull around expecting someone else to take the first step. Or rather, you won’t let yourself do that.

You already know, as if instinctually, that intention backed up by action makes things happen. As Steve says, hard work is a necessary element in order for your goals to be realized.

There are no shortcuts

“There is no substitute for hard work.” – Thomas Edison

There are no lottery tickets in life that will dramatically increase your odds of success. Hard work has existed all these years for a reason. It’s the only tried and true way to successfully doing what you love.

The only shortcut to hard work is less work, which in the end leads to a higher chance of you not succeeding.

Greatness is not obtained through a slack work ethic

“Unless you are willing to drench yourself in your work beyond the capacity of the average man, you are just not cut out for positions at the top.” – J.C. Penney

Alright, we know hard work matters and that it is necessary, but how much of it are we supposed to do? The answer is however much it takes to get where we want to be.

Anybody can do hard work for a few hours. Take a look at how many people work part-time. But less can remain dedicated for a few months. Even less so can stay hard workers for years.

This is why there are so few at the top. Not because they took shortcuts or free-rode on the backs of the more dedicated. But because they understood that hard work is what rules all.

The truth behind doing what you love

The truth is that doing what you love requires you to work much longer and harder than your employed counterparts for no pay whatsoever (at least in the beginning). The paycheck you seek is not coming at the end of every bi-weekly period.

But what matters much more than the time invested, the money lost, and the sweat put in is that you are doing what makes you happy and what others can enjoy.

Is this not what life is about? The pursuit of happiness? I can hear the naysayers already, telling me that this pursuit is imaginary and the “American Dream” was lost long ago.

I beg to differ.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography

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June 21, 2010

7 Steps to Getting Rid of Embarrassment Once and For All

“The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else was to be indifferent to that difference.” – Al Capp, great American cartoonist

At some point in our lives, we wind up speaking in front of a large crowd of people, wearing an untied shoe, or walking in the path of a lone tree branch. The opportunity just seems to present itself at the most inopportune times. One mispronunciation, one careless move, or one instance of delayed reaction time and:

STUTTER!

TRIP!

SMACK!

Like magic, the fluidity of our speech turns into choppy babble, the clip-clop of our stride turns into the stamp-stomp of a gorilla trying to regain its balance, and our simple daydream turns into a dizzying mess as we rub our bruised faces. Our confidence transforms into embarrassment.

Ouch.

Yup. I’ve been there and back, my friend. Along with the red face, frenzied eye moments, and loss for words, embarrassment is not a pretty thing to watch, let alone experience. Luckily for me, however, I’ve been in so many embarrassing situations, that I’m practically immune.

So that’s why I say this:

You can end your embarrassment once and for all.

To be blunt, not all of these tips will make you instantly embarrassment-free. Some will provide you with the quick fix you’re looking for, but others will take more practice and implementation in your daily life in order to get it just right. As with every other skill, getting rid of embarrassment requires you to put forth real, conscious effort. Now that my little forewarning is over, don’t worry about it. I’ll try and make these steps as clear and concise as possible:

1. Reflect on your embarrassing moments

Look back on your life and revisit your most embarrassing moments; the best (or worst) ones you can imagine. Remember how each moment made you feel, both before and after it happened. What were you in the process of doing before you were so rudely interrupted?

Then remember what happened the day after your embarrassing moment. Did anybody really remember it? If so, do you still feel hurt by it, or do you not care as much as you thought you did?

2. Come to terms with these moments

Another great way to beat embarrassment is to come to terms with those moments you’ve had in the past. The best way to do this is by sharing them with someone you trust. The blunders that I shared above (stuttering during a speech, tripping on my shoelace, and walking smack dab into a tree branch) are all things that have happened to me in the past. And while I do this in the form of a blog post, you can share your embarrassing stories in your own way. A story, a song, a poem, or another piece of artwork is fine, as long as you let it out.

Remember, life goes on and so should you.

3. In your moment of embarrassment, focus elsewhere

A great technique I’ve found to be useful is to simply concentrate on something else. Just this afternoon, I tripped up the stairs (how convenient for this blog post, right?). Instead of lamenting my little blunder, I gave a little chuckle, looked straight ahead, and kept going. What I focused on in that instant was where I was headed, but there are a near limitless amount of things you can place your focus on. Focusing on your breathing, or remembering a time when somebody else got embarrassed are good ones to use.

4. Embarrass yourself on purpose

This is one of the more advanced techniques I mentioned earlier. To intentionally put yourself in awkward situations requires a great amount of confidence, but is always rewarding once the moment is over. At first, it is a bit daunting (you’re being made a spectacle, I understand), but soon you’ll be well on your way to feeling absolutely confident no matter what embarrassing moment rears it head. Ready the yellow wet floor signs and untie those shoes. You haven’t got a moment to lose.

5. Ignore the moment until it passes

Put your mind at ease. Sure, everyone might be pointing and laughing. Maybe your speech got derailed for a bit. You may possibly be a bit bruised and red in the face. However, the most powerful thing you can do is to just blaze through it. As far as you know, you didn’t mess up. Did you trip and fall? That’s funny. You didn’t feel a thing.

6. Prevent the embarrassment before it happens

As the saying goes, “prevention is better than a cure”. Those words or wisdom still apply, as it is best to be prepared before a moment trips you up like walking across a wet floor with untied shoes. Watch where you’re going. Prepare for your interview. Bring money before you go to the store. Carry an extra shirt when you eat BBQ ribs and hot wings. And don’t forget to tie those laces. An embarrassment-free day is upon us now.

7. Accept yourself, embarrassing moments and all

Maybe you’re like me: just a weird person who can’t help but do potentially embarrassing things. Maybe you like screaming when you’re supposed to be quiet or adore going into a business conference cold turkey with a high probability of blowing it.

Join the club.

There’s something about someone who wants to get rid of embarrassment by trying these techniques. They must want to improve their lives and become more confident. But it’s another matter entirely when someone tries and succeeds in these tips and realizes that we are who we are.

To throw everything out of the window, and to accept yourself as unique and as something special: that is the moment when the embarrassment is truly gone.

Creative Commons License photo credit: quinn.anya

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June 3, 2010

One Quick Tip to Transform Your Interactions Right Now

Stop being reactive.

I’ve been experimenting with this tip when engaging in conversation to great success recently. Matters that would usually set off my “ignoramus-alarm” and cause me to shout, yell, and basically go ballistic, have fallen prey to my being non-reactive.

There are only three steps you have to follow if you want to be completely non-reactive:

1. Pause before you answer anything

Briefly take a moment to assess the situation you may be presented with. There’s some sort of unspoken rule in society that says you have to answer any question someone asks you with speed and efficiency. This actually isn’t necessary.

Stop trying to accomodate who you’re having a conversation with (thinking thoughts like, “If I don’t answer fast enough, they’ll think I’m stupid, being rude, etc.) and slow down.

2. Detach your emotions

You have the right to take yourself out of any pointless discussion, heated argument, or unnecessary quarrel you may accidentally get cajoled into. When emotions get involved, tensions can rise and feelings are hurt. Stay in control of your emotions — let the other people crash and storm around you while you remain as stable as a rock.

3. Keep the “next” attitude on the brain

It doesn’t matter if you say something stupid, rude, or incoherent. In the end, you always get another chance at conversation, so why sweat the small stuff? A mispronounced word during a presentation, an accidental slip of a million-dollar word, even a simple fumbling of your speech into a stutter; it’s not as big a deal as you think.

It’s important to be careful with your words, but if you happen to mess up, move on from it. There’s no point obsessing over miscommunication. Promptly correct your accidents and proceed.

Try this tip today and tell me how it works out for you.

“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” – Oscar Wilde

Creative Commons License photo credit: polandeze

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May 24, 2010

75 Life-Changing Truths Written While Lying on the Grass

Wrote most of these Saturday evening while (as the title already tells you) lying on the grass outside. They were compiled to get myself out of boredom and now I feel inspired again.

Enjoy!

1. Whenever you focus heavily on an outcome, you rarely ever get it

2. Ultimately, nobody really does care about you more than yourself

3. People love children more than adults because they’re so unpredictable (in other words, act like an adult, but live as a child)

4. It’s very hard for people to follow others’ advice, even more so their own

5. A mountain’s worth of effort will get you anything you want

6. Laying on the grass isn’t as bad as I thought it would be – it’s actually quite freeing

7. What people may think of you matters nothing compared to what you think of yourself

8. The stuff that people try to distract you with (their words, their praise, their criticism) – that is noise. Filter that out and find the true meaning within

9. Complaining alters nothing (or at the very most, alters very little). For maximum impact, physically do something about it

10. I’ve found that people don’t like hearing the truth. That’s why I have this blog. This way I won’t have to argue, plead, or shout to be heard. All I have to do is type

11. Television, movies, books, even blogs – they serve as an escape from reality. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take lessons from them to change your own reality

12. I’m almost certain that I would be happier as an animal than as a human. At least I’d actually live everyday as if it was my last

13. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sex. Just be smart enough to know when and how to do it

14. Sometimes, you just need a break from your normal social circle. I’m lying in the grass instead of going to the movies. What are you doing?

15. If I can make $200 doing what I love (writing on this blog) then so can you doing what you love. Just prepare to work your ass off

16. You really don’t need as much as you think you do

17. Minimalism does not mean to be happy having absolutely nothing. It means being content with having manageable amounts of stuff

18. Placating others for them to like you is low-class behavior

19. I could’ve chosen to be miserable and bored, but instead I’ve decided to make myself happy and write. Are you listening? You can change how you feel in an instant

20. Don’t seek a reaction from other people. Do what you want because YOU want to

21. How can you [blank] another if you can’t even [same word] yourself? Nearly any verb will do

22. Appreciate all music. It is created from the raw emotion of a composer

23. School is only fun from grades Pre-K through 2nd grade. From then on, you have to start breaking the rules to keep from being bored

24. Learning isn’t really that much fun. It’s just interesting. Applying knowledge > witnessing someone else apply knowledge > reading/learning about it

25. The greatest pleasures in life are requited love and doing what you love

26. I used to get scabs all the time. They were the battle scars gained as children waging the war on boredom through play

27. Stories matter

28. Focus on the ‘why’ rather than on the ‘what’. Life instantly becomes more meaningful

29. Don’t let inspiration go to waste. Act on it, just as I’m doing right now

30. College focuses too much on memorization and grades than on what you actually learn to internalize

31. The teachers who have inspired me are the ones who I remember the most

32. Accept the fact that you can’t be the best at everything

33. Science rules the world. Even emotion (although metaphysical) is based in science

34. All emotions are contagious – enthusiasm, depression, anger, you name it

35. White lies are better than regular lies; at least you’re acknowledging the truth rather than completely disregarding it

36. Ignorance is truly bliss. Didn’t even know what racism was until I learned about it in school

37. Farting in public will always be hilarious, no matter how old I get

38. Sometimes it’s better to be a jerk than to be a nice guy

39. The happiest people are the ones who get paid for doing what they love instead of what they like or what they don’t really care much for

40. Everyone is judgmental. Deal with it. You cannot deny human nature

41. Cool, calm, and collected; that’s how you carry on business

42. Certain people will always try and find a way to show your success in a negative light

43. Where are your balls? The opportunities are right in front of you. Take them

44. Why do people keep on living when death would be so much easier? Because life is fleeting and death is forever

45. Doubt really sucks. It serves no purpose other than to keep you from trying something new (okay, and maybe keeping you from getting yourself killed, but still)

46. Public speaking is only scary when you don’t know what you’re talking about

47. Having superpowers wouldn’t make life that much easier. You’d just have a lot more crap to deal with

48. With great power comes a lot of people asking you for help

49. Men and women are actually not that hard to figure out, as opposed to popular belief

50. No lock is impenetrable. You just need to find the right key (never said it would be easy to find though)

51. If religion just feels like an extra set of rules to follow, don’t practice it

52. In fact, if a certain action is more trouble than it’s worth, cease and desist

53. You can’t choose who or what you’re attracted to. It’s a DNA thing

54. Being a skeptic of a traditionally-held idea is positively exhilarating

55. Push your creativity to the breaking point. Your best ideas will be just beyond it

56. Your reaction to a situation is more important than the situation itself

57. To be able to change your life, you have to be bold

58. The world does not reward those who expect things or feel entitled to outcomes

59. There is no point in fearing the things that cannot possibly kill you

60. Nobody knows what you’re thinking until you tell them (or show them)

61. People try new things (good and bad) because they’re bored

62. Your thoughts come through in your body language; if you’re confident, you stand tall or lean back. If you’ve got low self-esteem you slouch and flinch easily

63. It’s not worth it traveling to other countries if you’re just going to sight see. Actually, “live” inside another country

64. Hesitation, fear, and excuse-making are the things that keep the “right time” from happening

65. Without respect, no relationship can prevail

66. Boredom is death within life

67. Everything starts in the enigmatic properties of your mind. Your perception is everything

68. You cannot be completely neutral in this world. Pick a side on your own before peer pressure forces you to

69. Express yourself any way you can: laughing, living, writing, loving, drawing, blogging, singing, working, cooking, building… the list goes on and on

70. People will remember you for what you did more than what you said

71. There’s a reason everyone harps on aging; youth is the only span of time when your stamina, body, and mind are at their highest performance

72. Your problems are not unique. Somebody on this planet is sharing the same pain you are

73. On the flip side, with regards to #72, you could also say the same for accomplishments and joy

74. You think you are any different from the people that inspire others? You too have the ability to inspire

75. Everyone has gifts. It’s up to them to find the value in their own abilities, to find the light underneath their dark, to find the blessing within their curse

Creative Commons License photo credit: Gibson Claire McGuire Regester

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May 13, 2010

The True Meaning of Passion

I figure I could be doing more than just writing about what I know. A lot of other web artists have learned amazing life lessons, so why not hand over the spotlight to them for a bit?

That’s why, today, I’m highlighting a 28-year-old artist who goes by the name of Monty Oum. If you take a look at his work, you just know that he’s passionate about what he does. For over six years, he’s been making CGI animation videos, slowly rising to become a prominent computer graphics artist within the videogame industry. I myself discovered him just two years ago, and I love his stuff.

A few months back, I stumbled upon a very intriguing blog post of his that I think you guys will find valuable. I hope you can pick out the nuggets of gold in his wise words:

Words to Live By

“I continually hope that someday I’ll get a chance to pass on everything I’ve learned. There hardly seems a moment considering living by my words only means having absolutely no time to say them. So at least I can take a moment in slight to utter in passing.

Never let anyone tell you that something is impossible.

I lived by that when it sparked in me the possibility of achieving something despite everyone telling me it being impossible otherwise. People have always told me it’s impossible, that it’s been tried. If you know what I’m talking about then your already on your way. What I will say to you ignore those who’ve been defeated by what they call “experience.” Keep going and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I know this might sound familiar even, never give up etc. But it’s how I live my life even currently as there still are more “experienced” people who will criticize that I’m doing it wrong. It’s the human spirit that’ll keep us alive. This rings true to the events of my life, when I started Haloid. I didn’t do it because I wanted to get a job in games, or that I wanted to become famous, or what have you. I did it because I knew it could be done, and that the road to finishing it was imperfect and difficult. What finishing it yielded me was only more steps on the path to pushing forward in what I believed in.

My life lacks much, I’m broke, my car is in horrible shape, my apartment is a mess, I spend 3 days in a row at the office regularly and sleep on the couch only when I need to. I’m helplessly antisocial. I see my girlfriend 3 times a year.

I come from an impoverished family of Cambodian civil war refugees. It been a long journey between being so incredibly poor that I didn’t have paper to draw on when I was little, to where I am now. It wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t dive headfirst and take a risk, and continually risk it all to keep going forward… Heh, success? They thought it was impossible.

What is the greatest reward for living in such difficulty?..

I hope you see it someday too, Cause the world looks very different, when you’re pushing yourself every second you’ve got.”

- Monty Oum

——————————–

Here’s some of his art in motion. Keep in mind, he created the entire video himself. He is remarkable in every sense of the word.

(Warning! You must be 13 years or older to watch – normally I don’t advocate random, bloodless violence, but this is art):

Watch it here if you’re interested.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Letcombe

Have you yourself been living passionately, pushing yourself every second you’ve got towards what you enjoy doing? Discuss.

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May 5, 2010

Minimalist Lifestyle Update: The Steps Taken Thus Far

Since I’ve announced my decision to become a minimalist some time ago on the blog, I’ve made a few small changes to my lifestyle.

Take into account that there are some activities I already gave up before I announced being a minimalist on the blog. These particular actions will be noted below.

Other things that have aided in me recently becoming a minimalist:

- I don’t have an income and the little money I make freelancing a blog post every two weeks has only added to my savings.

- Ran out of money that university gives us to spend (flex dollars).

- As a college student, I embrace frugality anyway.

10 Steps Towards the Minimalist Lifestyle

1. I’ve slowly ceased using my cell phone as both a watch and communication device

2. I tend to use and reuse white shirts as everyday clothing and as sleepwear

3. I already walk everywhere

4. I haven’t used my debit card in months

5. I’m moving into the smallest room in my apartment for the cheapest price

6. I’ve long since stopped watching television

7. I’m reading more than ever before

8. Gradually focusing less on blog stats and more on blog content and community

9. I’m able to function on less than 5 hours of sleep

10. Starting to eliminate needless conversations in favor of reading (harsh, but it’s pointless to debate about issues that will do little in solving problems anyway)

Things I find myself doing that are problematic:

Unblocking sites that are supposed to be blocked – I’m going to start password protecting my website-blocker add-on

Checking email several times a day – It’s going to take a lot of willpower to adhere to my ‘three-times-a-day’ rule

Reloading Twitter to check for status updates, retweets, and responses – Limit of ten minutes of Twitter, 3 times a day starting tomorrow.

More updates to follow soon.

Creative Commons License photo credit: feverblue

22 comments

May 3, 2010

How to Reclaim Your Childlike Confidence

The times of our childhood have gone and left us. From the moment we were born up until the prime of our youth, we lived freely and innocently, without apology or responsibility. And with this freedom and innocence came the empowerment of confidence. The assurance that whatever we wanted in our lives we would get. The acceptance that to get anything we must take action for it. The knowledge that fate lay within our very hands.

This confidence resided within us for a while. Although there were times as children when we would be initially shy and scared of the change that would come with the confidence in trying different things and exploring new ‘worlds’ (such as the zoo, the playground, and the grocery store, to name a few), we would eventually rest upon the peak of our happiness.

The happiness that came with confidence is what made youth worth embracing and is what makes it so valuable.

You won’t catch an old foogie trying to do a handstand because he’s almost certain his back will feel out of sorts if things go wrong. But if you even hint at any type of challenge to rambunctious child, no doubt she’ll have at it.

Stop suppressing your confidence

Now, I know I’ve been playing up the youth angle a bit, but I’m here to say that youth really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does, at least in terms of confidence. What does matter is how you choose to live your life.

As a child, you had no worries. Life was lived to the fullest each and everyday. But as you got older, you began to rationalize your confidence. Instead of feeling happiness and awe from staring at an anthill and watching the mysteries of life unfold, you decided to forget those small pleasures.

Societal norms told you your confidence was unacceptable, that you had no right to feel confident until you get that respectable job and six-figure salary. You allowed them to judge your self-worth based on the materials you own and how well you followed orders in the educational institutions. This created insecurity within yourself and instability in your life.

Fast forward to now, where you still feel inadequate because society keeps asking more of you. You must buy more stuff. You’re how old and still have no kids? Start making some! You have no money for them? Go get some!

Don’t listen to this noise.

When you were a child, you had almost nothing to your name. You were only fed, clothed, and cared for.

Maybe even given a toy, here or there.

If this is the code by which you felt the most carefree and happy, don’t you think you should be trying to continue living by that same code?

Understand that the happiest children didn’t have mountains of new gadgets to show off to their friends. They didn’t compare fancy, schmancy handbags to have to feel validation. They didn’t care for all of the worthless things that society said we should invest in.

This is what we cared about the most:

1. True friendships not based on stuff

Children made friends naturally, not because they owned certain things that some else may or may not have.

2. Exploring and learning

Considering a child’s attention span, there’s no question that learning new things stimulated us, as well as exploring new places.

3. Having fun

Fun was the name of the game. Seriously, everything could be made into a game unless told otherwise.

4. Family

The simplicity of home and family made us happy, and allowed us to rest after a day of truly living.

Release the buried confidence

It seems that our childlike confidence has been forcibly buried, both by society’s judgment and our own adherence to said judgment. Well, I say now is the time to reclaim our confidence.

Really take these three steps to heart, as they will reopen a world that you once thought was lost.

1. Recreate life to suit you

Life is what you make of it. It doesn’t have to be a depressing sob story of you working a job you don’t like, you struggling to pay your bills, or you trying so hard to please people you can’t please. Mold your life into an inspiring story of confidence and passion, doing what you love to do.

Break away from routine for a bit. Do something out of wack. Get a little crazy.

2. Play kids games

It doesn’t matter what age you play a kid’s game; it’ll always be fun. If you have the courage to do something juvenile and enjoy it, you know you have confidence.

Grab some water guns and head for the beach. Play tic-tac-toe. If you’re really extreme, play tag.

3. Don’t buy more than the essentials

All we need in life is food, clothes, water, a computer, and a decent place to lay our heads. The rest of the things we buy are secondary. Opposed to what you may think, having more stuff just makes us more insecure. More things to keep track of means more stuff to spent your time managing.

Cut down the consumption and witness how less stressful life becomes.

As I look to the future, I envision a world where I won’t have to witness people buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. In this world, people are more secure and more confident. The way life plays out, we are born with nothing and we will die with nothing.

But that doesn’t mean we have to spend our lives feeling bad about it. To live a good life, you must embrace the childlike confidence that’s been inside you all this time.

Use it to live life to the fullest.
Creative Commons License photo credit: northpolemama

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16 comments

April 18, 2010

What Do You Bring? Give Your Value First

Sometimes I think there are a few people who expect the world to just give them what they want. From time to time, I get emails simply asking me:

“Can you write a post about [completely unrelated product]? It would be great for your readers.”

“I have an idea for your blog.”

“You should tell your readers about [another unrelated topic]. Oh and [request for link exchange]?”

When I get messages like this, from actual people, I think to myself, “I know that you want everybody to know about your product or listen to your message, but why are you coming to me expecting me to do it for you?”

Now, I’m all for helping out

I’m not someone who instantly shuts down requests for link exchanges or product reviews, but if it’s blatantly obvious that you’re only out for yourself, don’t expect me to do your bidding.

Enter a fundamental lesson for society

Long ago, people used to do things for other people simply because they themselves were going to get something in return. And for a while, this worked out smashingly. People would exchange resumes for jobs, hours of their lives for cash, and completed work for grades.

This system created a lot of jobs and helped a lot of people.

But somewhere along the line, the human race got creative enough to think of the Internet; a place where nearly any piece of information is there for the taking, provided you searched long enough.

What’s more is that on the web, there are literally billions of people at our fingertips. We can connect with anyone and spread gossip as fast as wild fire. It was at this point that jobs started to get a little harder to come by.

Instead of hiring more door-to-door salesman, employers fire the ones they already have and are employing highly qualified advertisers to saturate the Internet with ads. It’s no longer profitable to offer services that cost next to nothing to obtain. In other words, you can’t get a good job anymore for having little skill. The door-to-door guys learned that the hard way.

What do you bring to the table?

If you have nothing to offer in a world filled to the brim with free stuff, expect very little compensation. No longer can you fool people with cookie-cutter advice and cheap tricks; we’ve gotten much smarter.

Gone are the days when you spam the web with useless ads and expect people to buy into your message (unless you’re a soulless pay-per-click jockey, you’re out of luck).

This holds true with everything else in life. What is becoming increasingly more obvious is that you must bring something to the table. No one will pay attention to you if you’re just like everybody else. If you want to succeed in life and really achieve your dreams, you must prove yourself worthy.

Times have changed; the ball is in your court

The invention of the Internet has turned living a good life into a whole new ball game. It’s no longer required of you to work for the rest of your life to get paid by the hour, on the hour. It doesn’t take years to establish a business living freely off of your passion.

No one can stand in your way.

In order to get the life you desire, it’s important that you zero in on the value you can provide to others. Keep this in mind as you follow these three steps:

1. You must become the mover

You must be the spark that lights the fire, the momentum that starts the avalanche, the march that begins the movement. You alone are ultimately responsible for where your life ends up. Stop expecting people to do things for you. In school, teachers gave you guidelines for how to do well in class. At your job, the boss gives you assignments that could potentially earn you more money.

But when you want to build the life you’ve always dreamed of, you’re on your own. You have to be the mover.

2. Become really good at one thing

What is one skill you are incredibly good at? Writing, painting, drawing, singing, acting, knitting, coloring, talking? Find it yet? Awesome.

Perfect it. Become one of the top one thousand people in your field of expertise. Let your work speak for itself and you’ll be getting plenty of opportunities to showcase yourself in no time.

3. Give away your best work

The works of art that you put the most time in are the ones that you should give away for free (from time to time). People will be more invested in your cause if you’re so willing to spread value that others would keep under wraps.

In truth, your best work at the time may not be your best work tomorrow. Our thoughts and ideas are constantly evolving. So don’t be afraid to give away too much value – there’s always a brighter idea on the horizon.

4. Charge for your better work

Need I say more?

Live a life made by value

Taking command of your life is not something everyone can do. It requires an immense amount of time, work, and connecting. But if you accept this and pursue your passion with everything you’ve got, the life you’re dreaming of will be waiting for you.

This is what the high life is all about.
Creative Commons License photo credit: Jesse757

8 comments

March 25, 2010

What Everybody Ought to Know About “The Book of AWESOME”

“The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” – Henry Miller

Significant chunks of my childhood are retold throughout the entire book; it’s like Neil Pasricha (the author of the blog, 1000 Awesome Things) knows me. Or really, it’s like he knows all of us. He knows that, even though we don’t act like it, we all have similar habits and we’re all living together exploring the same things in this gigantic universe. This books teaches us that, maybe, we’re not so different after all.

I’m not going to say that “this book is…AWESOME” (I’ve said that enough on Twitter). Instead, I’m going to say that this book does an excellent job of creatively elaborating upon the awesome things that we do and encounter in our lives everyday.

I get a kick out of pushing those little buttons on the soft drink cup lid. It’s awesome that I get a rush from peeling the film off of new gadgets. And EVERYBODY loves licking the batter off of the beaters of a cake mixer.

More of my favorite AWESOME things straight from the book:

  • Tripping and realizing no one saw you
  • Hanging your hand out of the car window
  • Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away
  • And many, many more

You’re also going to get a lot of “Hey, I thought I invented that” or “Wow, I thought nobody understood that, but me” moments. There were also plenty of times when I just started laughing out loud. My favorite line has to be how we sometimes “pop farts beneath the covers”. Hilarious.

Don’t come into the book thinking that this is going to be an epic tale of the human condition. The fact is, it’s not trying to be epic. It’s trying to shine a mirror on you. It has the balls to say what many of us are too afraid or self-conscious to say. And this formula just works.

Even though I’ve already finished the book, I’ll be coming back to this righteous read long after the credits have finished rolling. Heck, maybe my future kids will read it one day. I hope they enjoy it as much as I did.

Pre-order your copy today! “The Book of Awesome” by Neil Pasricha releases this April 15.

image courtesy of 1000AwesomeThings

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