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Most of us don’t know what we want to be in life. We come into this world thinking anything about everything – our attention spans never really slowing down. So to allay this feeling of overabundance, this feeling that there’s too many options to just pick one, we try them all. And it’s only until we’ve done everything and made a boatload of mistakes do we realize who we really want to become.
It all starts at childhood. At a young age, the first decisions we are presented with have to do with common, menial choices such as “What color do I want to wear today?”, “Which lollipop should I nag Mom to buy from the store?”, or “Which toy do I want for Christmas” – things like that.
And through some miracle, we pick something. We choose to wear red. We decide to get a strawberry lollipop. We wish for a toy car under the tree.
Of course, these choices are simple (as they should be for any child).
But then we get to the ‘messy’ decisions. The ones that few children rarely are able to decide upon.
Most notably for me, our place in the workforce.
As a kid, it wasn’t as easy as picking the biggest cookie in the jar, or picking out what shirt to wear. This type of choice had consequences. But, as kids, we don’t care for the consequences, we wanted the cool experiences that came with each job.
I tell ya, looking back on my job choices now, I’m not sure how much sugar I’d consumed throughout my childhood. I’ll list them here, just in case you’re curious:
- an artist
- a surgeon (to fix people)
- a famous cook who had his own show on local cable
- a firefighter so I could play with the hose (and save lives)
- a policeman so I could be on the hit-tv show “Cops” (and bring in the bad guys)
- a dinosaur from Jurassic Park
- a bull fighter
- Beast from “Beauty and the Beast”
Do you think this is indecisive? It gets worse…
Admittedly, the above list was a little ‘out there’. But when I became a teenager, my mind switched into ‘logic mode’. I soon was under the guise that the world ran on money. And in order to get money, I’d have to pick the job that earned me the most.
My list changed, but more radical ones soon popped up. Here’s my “revised” list:
- surgeon (to make money)
- actor (to make money)
- a basketball player (to make money)
- a rapper (to make money)
- a business owner (to make money)
- a lawyer (to make money)
I think you get the idea. As you can see, my list isn’t really that much shorter, but the focus completely changed. What’s even funnier is the fact that after making this new list, I still hadn’t found a career I really wanted to do.
And while I could’ve simply picked the job that got me the most pay, they each contained varying degrees of difficulty that I didn’t have the patience to put up with. That’s when things got ugly.
My final decision (not really)
My parents assumed that I was incompetent in choosing my profession, so they chose for me.
My final choice was – doctor.
It was at that point that everything made sense again. Well, I am the only son in the family, so I might as well be a doctor, right? And they do make a lot of money, so why not?
So life went on as usual – I made thousands of choices a year, not knowing where they would take me, with the mind that through all these messy decisions I would someday become a doctor.
Yes, life was grand except for one thing – I wasn’t exactly sure I wanted to be a doctor.
This wasn’t because of teenage rebellion, mind you. I liked the human body and it’s awesome abilities. If you really study the human body, you’ll know that it can do some pretty amazing things.
Whether or not it would keep my interest wasn’t the problem, but it was the time I would have to put in (more specifically, the time I would have to keep putting in).
To have no time for anything, but saving lives wasn’t what I wanted to do, no matter how much money was involved. I didn’t want to live my life almost completely for someone else (and I’m not talking about in terms of taking care of a family, I’m talking about being an on -call surgeon putting time I could spend with my future family into a sick person).
I have nothing against those who want to be doctor’s or need help from doctors, it’s just that I didn’t want to do that.
And with that knowledge, I decided to rewrite my list for the last time:
…….
I got squat.
I couldn’t find a single profitable job that didn’t have me sacrifice my time for money. It seemed indecision followed me everywhere I went and laughed at me when I turned my back on the medical field. Until…
My final decision (for real)
It was then that I realized, who said I had to pick one thing? Who said that I had to choose a conventional job? Why was doctor, lawyer, basketball player and other similar jobs the only choices I had?
This became my final list and my final decision:
- Blogger
- Philanthropist
- Presenter
- Future husband/father
- Traveler
- My own personal translator
- Entrepreneur
- Leader
- Orator
- Video gamer
- Learner
In other words… I want to be me.
You could say that I’m still being indecisive. I haven’t picked any one thing. The curse is still with me.
But then again, maybe I have picked one thing, and maybe that one thing should have been what I chose all along. I should have chosen to make a career out of being who I am.
I’ve chosen my path. All I ask now is what did you want to be when you were younger? What are you now? Surprised? Accepting? Happy? Sad? Share your story.
photo credit: VirtualErn
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Man, being “beast” from Beauty and the Beast would be awesome… unless you were stuck like that forever. Then that would kind of suck.
It seems like your teenage ideas for future jobs revolved on your family’s values, which was making money, versus your own values which is what you like to do.
It’s cool that you revised your job. I’m curious to know what a video gamer is? Is that a person who tests video games? Anyway, thanks for sharing this John.
Way to go, John – getting to that spot and realizing that you want to be “you”. I recall, coming out of high school, and heading off to college to become an engineer. Hey, I was good at math and science – and they made a bunch of money. And then…I graduated, and was doing the work…and not liking it at all. And I think that’s the great thing about life – we’re not forced to stay in life positions we don’t want. That said, some people do. It can also be hard to leave the security of where we’re at. I haven’t worked as an engineer in many, many years. I still very much respect the profession, and know many in the field. I’ve evolved, and continue to evolve as the journey I’m on takes me in directions that I choose…
Best to you, my friend, in all the places the future hold for you…
When I was a kid, I wanted to own a business. My mom and dad were in business for themselves on the side of pretty good jobs.
First, I wanted to be a lawyer. (I liked to debate.)
Next, I found out debating could be fun, but very time consuming. No time for family. So when I became a teen…
I wanted to become a computer systems engineer, analyst and programmer.
A dream that I probably should have went after, but never did.
I started working little businesses at the age of 12 and about the time I turned 20 I had many failed ventures.
Now, I am like you.
- Blogger
- Philanthropist
- Presenter
- Mother
- Future Wife
- Traveler
- Personal Development Guru
- Entrepreneur
- Leader
- Orator
-Serial Giver
- Learner
It’s amazing how similar we are in this. I went through much the same process, and came up with many of the same answers. And now, I’m in much the same place. I want to be paid to be myself…to write, to travel, to care for others, and to make the world a better place, one baby step at a time. Now that I finally have the “what” (it took me many years to figure that out), now I’m focusing on the “how”. I’ll keep you posted
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Darren Sproat, Jay Schryer. Jay Schryer said: RT @CJAnyasor: New at HiLife2B: Should I or Should I Not? The Curse of Indecision http://bit.ly/3VbJ8Y [...]
Hey dude,
Nice article, its really true… Life really changes our priorities… I just liked the “To make money list”…
Even sometimes I think what I want to be, to be that, this and lot more… but in short its all bout me… Me… Me… and I wanna be Me…
M
Hey John. Nice post. Like you, I went thought a lot of indecisiveness regarding my career. I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life. I love music, but didn’t like how the music/entertainment industry will transform you to something that you’re not to sell records. Even though I still have a passion for music, I’ve finally decided against the idea and thought about something more practical.
In college, I started out as a music major but wasn’t too keen on the classical aspect of it so I quit that program and began to take general courses until I made up my mind. I thought about computer science because technology is the future and that’s a constant job and income, then I later thought about working in the medical field because they are highly respected and again, in high demand. But I realized that my heart was in that. I learned from working a lot of dead end jobs that led to no career advancement that in order to excel in any position or career, you have to work on something that you’re passionate about.
As a result, my current list looks a lot like yours.
Great, honest, open post. I really enjoyed reading more about your and your decision processes. Making big decisions is hard and I applaud you for giving it a lot of thorough thought and consideration. I’m sure no matter what you do you’ll be successful!
I remember when I was in my freshman year at college, I realized that I didn’t want to be an engineer and spent about two weeks changing my major nearly every hour.
Eventually I decided on architecture, which was more fun, but after nearly eight years, it’s lost it’s luster.
It’s kind of hard to sum up what I want to be now. Maybe “adventurer” sums it up well. Maybe “misfit” would be more accurate.
It’s kind of strange, when people ask me what I do, I don’t really know what to tell them anymore…
John ,
I am very proud of your final list, I will tell you this much. These are all very wonderful but as you grow older and accomplish them there value will different and you will prioritize them.
Yes, you will even though all are very honorable and I have no doubt you will accomplish them all.
God Bless
1. I wanted to be a nun at 5
2. a gymnast at 10
3. a math professor at 15
4. a model at 19 ( that lasted about 3 months)
5. a college graduate
6. world traveler
7. a leader or mentor
8. an Entrepreneur
9. a wife
10. a mother
# 5- 9 I have accomplished.Prior to these I believe I was influenced by my parents #4 was rebellion.
#9 is what I cherish and honor. 5.6.7.8. are my second privileges or blessings, I have and #10 yet to come.
@Tristan Lee – ha ha yeah. I don’t know what I was thinking
I’m glad you enjoyed the post, Tristan. It took a bit of soul searching to find out what I really wanted to be.
And a video gamer isn’t really a job. It’s just a hobby to play games that I enjoy.
@Lance – That’s a great story! Glad you could share that Lance. You’ve given me another great perspective on indecision in terms of job selection. What’s great is that you still have respect for being an engineer, which I think is truly admirable. You’ve grown from wanting money, to helping others.
Excellent points, and thanks for the encouragement, my friend!
@Gerlaine – Hey, Gerlaine! Happy to see your first comment on the blog.
Congrats on finally living the life you’ve envisioned for yourself. It’s hard to make a living when you don’t know what or who you want to be. But when you take a chance, (I’m assuming) things will turn out alright.
Now I haven’t accomplished my goal of making a living being me, but it doesn’t hurt to try, right?
Nice list by the way
@Jay – Hey Jay! (that rhymes) Welcome to the blog!
It’s time for us to start living our lives the way we want, and stop accepting the drudgery of living the conventional lifestyle. You better keep me posted, Jay
@Mohsin – Hey Moshin, welcome to the blog!
You’re absolutely right. I’m sure in time you’ll be able to live off of being you. It’s by no means easy (I’m just starting to try my hardest to do it myself), but hopefully things well work out in the end.
@Patrice – Another great story, and thanks for sharing. These days, it seems like everyone’s beginning to question the stability of their jobs in addition to how much passion they have for it. You’ve gone through many changes throughout life, and those changes have affected your list. Hopefully you’ll discover something that you’ll really want to do. And when that happens, you’ll definitely know.
@Dani – ha ha you’re very kind, Dani
I’m glad you’ve been here enjoying the posts. It’s a big challenge deciding what to do when so many things (jobs) are being thrown at you. It gets kind of daunting (Should I take the traditional route? Is this pain I’m feeling – whenever it feels like I’m making no headway, I get like this – worth it?)
I don’t know. The pain comes with the territory. No pain, no gain. I’ll just have to keep moving forward…
Thanks for your encouragement.
@Clayton – Ah yes, another engineer
Lance went through a similar path.
I know how you feel. When people ask me what I want to do, I can’t really say. I know one thing though. If my next project takes off, no more jobs for me. Ever.
You’ll find your passion soon enough. Just keep listing your interests, test them out, and eventually something has got to click.
@Bunny –
Thanks so much, Bunny. I feel a lot better 
I really do want these to come to fruition. I just hope it happens before it’s too late. I feel like I’m in this period of constant work that has no perceptive bright side. Maybe I’ll see it, but for now, I’m just going through the tunnel, calling out for an answer. Maybe one day, someone will answer back…
Spectacular list, Bunny. Your husband’s a lucky guy
Thanks for your blessings and your perspective.
nice article John. I know you will achieve your goals and they will change along the way, but you’ve chosen wisely for you at this moment.
I wanted to be a archaeologist from 5-10
A writer from 10-17
A philanderer from 18-21
An Entrepreneur from 21 – 39
a great husband from 33 – date
a great father from 33 -date
A personal Development speaker from 39 – date
A Writer who is Entrepreneurial from 39 – date
Hi John!
I’ve told both my kids that the 20’s are awful – there is all this pressure to BECOME something – oh and make sure you can make a damn living too, right? Yikes! They have both struggled with the all the options – as you are – and it’s not easy, I feel your pain as I’ve felt theirs.
All I can say is (and Lance did too) that whatever you do NOW doesn’t have to be for forever. The happiest people I know (and I’m one of them!) have had such a variety of jobs/careers in their lives its almost funny. I’ve done things I’ve loved and things I’ve hated but kept moving, kept trying things out.
I told Jay a while back to “audition” (try it out) jobs, rather than the other way around. Don’t see if YOU fit, see if IT fits you! It’s more empowering.
I went through a phase like your “doctor” phase… my dad wanted me to be an airline pilot. I did all the ratings, got all the hours, did a check ride to fly for the Costa Rican airline, got offered a job, and realized… I don’t want the airline pilot lifestyle.
What I always wanted was to be just like my mom. I wanted to be a loving mother and a compassionate person, making everyone I meet feel valued and loved… just like my mom did.
I’m getting closer every day.
Hi John. I can’t remember what I wanted to be when. I know when I was young I wanted to be a doctor or lawyer. Later on I wanted to be an author, college professor, scientist, or some kind of researcher. In my old age I lean to author and beach bum.
Thanks for sharing this. I think we all share similar decision points along our path in life.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a race car driver.
In college, I wanted to be:
An aerospace engineer – until I became concerned about the narrowness of the field.
Then I changed majors to computer engineering – until I realized it was all about electronic circuits and circuit boards and very little to do with computers.
Then I changed majors to computer science – until I realized that it was all computer programming, and very little science or application.
Along the way, I certified in Novell networking, and starting working full time in computer support. I finally finished college with a Liberal Studies degree.
My current list is much like your final list. Simlar to Clayton’s comment, computer support is losing it’s luster. The desire for something more brought me to blogging.
Nice John – Props to you in your journey man. I really applaud you and wish I had your courage and vision when I was your age!
I stuck to my guns from when I was 17 and wanted to be an engineer because I liked cars, was good at math, and wanted money. I was 23 and working as an engineer when I realized that was not me – I had a a career that a 17-year-old had picked out. Doh!
Well it’s 2 years later and like you, I’m just trying to be me, help others, and pursue meaningful success. Cheers bro!
There really are so many choices available to us now. Life is great. The biggest problem most of us have is focusing on one area long enough to get great at it and earn a living.
We can do ANYTHING we want, just NOT EVERYTHING we want.
One interesting point you touch on is that who we become is no longer limited to occupation. In this age of affluence, we can work less and live more.
Being a traveler, video game player, husband, learner or anything we want is a real possibility if we choose it.
“The Beast” on the TV show was super cute!
At primary school I wanted to be a teacher. I chucked in my $77-100 h job (and 3 months to go on Masters) at the uni as a post grad to start tutoring online.
Some try to tell me I have a limited philosophy~ my lifestyle is sustainable, my days filled with joy, I work from home doing what I wanted to do as a child.
Bliss.
I don’t work to pay off a mortgage, car, holiday etc. Me hopes I am never a millionaire ~:-)
@Steven – Congrats, Steven! You’ve achieved quite a number of your goals, and I’m sure you’re excellent in all of them.
Thanks for sharing your list, man! I really appreciate it.
@Suzen – I love that line in your comment:
“Don’t see if YOU fit, see if IT fits you!”
You are so right. As you can see above, I’ve had a lot of ‘interests’, but few things I’ve actually cared about. None of them really fit me, but being ME (I feel) fits just right. Thanks for your thoughts!
P.S. I’m glad you’re teaching your kids now, instead of having them freak out later
@Lisis – No Lisis, you’re just like your mother. I can tell from your writing and our conversations that you’re simply a beautiful person. I’m glad you’re not a pilot – otherwise you probably wouldn’t have your blog
Best of luck, Lisis.
@Stephen – What’s up, Steven! We’re exactly alike. I’ll join you on the beach soon enough man.
It may take awhile, as this ‘make money being me’ business is proving to be pretty tough
@Eric – Hey Eric!
Ha ha, there are a lot of ex-engineers here! I’m so happy your focus has changed for the better. It must have seemed like a long road, trying so many things to no real avail. But now you’re doing something you love, and that’s all that matters.
Blog on, my friend. Blog on.
@Tip – Welcome to the blog, Tip!
Thanks a lot for your compliments. I’ll much better when my vision comes true, so I can finally say that you can do it like I did!
Another engineer-turned-visionary
We’ve all come to realize that life is no longer about a steady income. Nor is it about having fun all the time. Life is a balance of both. It takes a crapload of work to pull off this feat, but if you’re willing and able to do so, go for it!
Hope to see you around the blog soon, Tip
@John – Your comments seriously blow me away. I’m being totally honest here. It’s time for us to start living. You can be you and still make a comfortable living. You yourself, John, are the perfect example of it.
One day, I’ll be with you on the journey, man. Traveling the world, living life, and helping others while doing it. Kudos to you, John!
@Char – I don’t know if the Beast was cute, but I liked the movie
Congratulations, Char! On choosing a life of your own. This is what I like to hear. People living life for themselves and not for the boss who could fire you in a heartbeat.
Genius planning by not working to pay off a debt
I love these comments, guys! You guys have inspired me to keep moving forward to bigger and better things!
Thank you – for everything
I really like this one. I think one of the things that originally caused me concern was the theory that everyone really has one purpose or one thing that they were really meant to do. This meant that I had to figure out my purpose and not make a mistake. I do believe it is is absolutely true that we all have one thing we were really meant to do, but I have discovered that finding that purpose is something that changes and evolves over the course of our lifetime. You get different pieces of experience along the way doing one job or another and experiencing different things. If you are honestly continually trying to figure out what you are really meant to do, the pieces start coming together and the answers become more and more apparent. You just have to be flexible and take advantage of learning from every opportunity and experience that comes your way. Great topic and great post.
@Alternaview Hey Alternaview! Long time, no see! How’s everything with you and your blog?
I know exactly what you mean. I thought we all had one purpose and it must be fulfilled by some predetermined thing (maybe religion or just gut instinct). I now know that that’s a load of bunk. We have to find that meaning (the meaning of our own lives) ourselves.
You’ve already figured it out and you didn’t need me to tell you. Great thoughts, my friend
[...] Anyasor presents Should I or Should I Not? The Curse of Indecision posted at Living the HiLife2B (in college), saying, “You think you’re indecisive? Think [...]
Second Edition Of Blog Carnival – COI…
Welcome to the October 25, 2009 edition of a call of inspiration.
Kerry Fletcher presents Color inspiration from nature – the sky posted at Examiner.
enlightenment
BWL presents Finding the will of God for your life posted at Christian Pe…
Yep, I am with you John – had so many choices as a kid growing up from being an astronomer to working over in Africa.
Then I hit Year 12 and had to actually make a decision. I chose the arts program at my local uni only to change it to psychology to then change it back again to arts.
Admittedly life had changed for me during my time at uni, but I still had no idea.. then I got a job at the uni and decided to go back to uni to study PR.
So I had all of that behind me and then I decided I didn’t want to work in that field anymore.
Ironically it all worked out because I use my PR in my business, so it wasn’t wasted! I think it will all come in handy through out life.
Good luck!
[...] Anyasor presents Should I or Should I Not? The Curse of Indecision, in which he asks “Who said I had to pick one thing?”at HiLife2B. Welcome to the [...]
[...] Anyasor presents Should I or Should I Not? The Curse of Indecision posted at Living the HiLife2B (in college), saying, “You think you’re indecisive? Think [...]
Funny to type in the curse of indecision and find a million articles. Good to know it is not just me. I liked your theory on not needing to pick but finding a way to balance and integrate all your passions. I guess the real trick is accepting indecision and finding a way to make a living and incorporate all of your interests. Good to know it is possible. Working on it!
@Jennifer – Hey Jennifer! Welcome to the blog!
I’m glad you found my post helpful. We are all trying to find our way in the world, trying to find out who we are. Some people choose one thing and think that “one thing” defines them – maybe it does. But that probably isn’t the only thing that defines who they are. To me, everyone is a mixture of passions and professions.
Thanks for stopping by! Hope to hear from you again soon!
[...] It's an honor today to share an article written by John Anyasor, from HiLife2B. John is a regular visitor here, and authors his own blog while also attending college full-time. He has a real desire to help others, and much of what he writes focuses on personal growth. A recent example of his work include Should I or Should I Not? The Curse of Indecision. [...]
[...] Anyasor presents Should I or Should I Not? The Curse of Indecision posted at Living the HiLife2B , saying, “indecisive? Think [...]
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