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I see something I want. I hesitate. I see another thing I want. I hesitate. My mind wants it so badly, but my body keeps rejecting it. Why? Why am I this way?
Should I not do everything I can to go after that which I desire? Why is there so much hesitation?
I hate the hesitation. I hate what it does to me. When it cripples my efforts, how I feel afterwards, is beyond mere textual description. It’s another opportunity gone. Another door closed. Another possibility made impossible…
I’ve heard it been called a “defense mechanism”. It’s supposed to protect us from things that’ll pose a threat to our existence. But last time I checked, talking in front of an audience wassn’t life threatening. Still, at least according to Steve Pavlina’s podcast, people fear public speaking more than death. Why?
Is the hesitation that powerful that we have to give up our lives to it? I can’t accept that. We shouldn’t accept that.
If hesitation is so powerful, then how are people still able to take risks? Do they drug themselves in order to “lessen the blow”? Do they wait until the “perfect moment”? Do they just wake up miraculously ready? Well, I certainly hope not.
I don’t know about you, but nearly every good opportunity I’ve been presented with that has been ruined by hesitation has caused me nothing but my annoyance and regret. I can’t stand hearing myself speaking phrases including the “what ifs” or the “somedays”. I live for the “Remember that time when I…” moments.
What do you want? Seriously, what do you want in life? What do you desire the most? Now it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of what you want. It’s your desire.
Are you hesitating? Are you fearful of asking for an extension on a mortgage payment? Too afraid to ask your boss for a day off to relax with the kids?
If you answered yes, very good. If you answered no, kudos to you to.
The ones who said yes at least acknowledge the problem. The ones who answered no are either happy as heck or lying to me. (Nothing I can do about that, so, moving on…)
For those of us who hesitate, ask yourself this. How would your life be if you never did what you wanted? Think of how you’d feel if never reached for it. The only question that should be going through your mind is “What if I NEVER do it?”
Got the answer? Good.
Now proceed to go for your desire with everything you’ve got.
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“Are you hesitating? Are you fearful of asking for an extension on a mortgage payment?”
As a matter of fact John, yes I am, lmao.
Not a mortgage but a car payment. God knows how many times I have been getting extensions on my payments from Toyota. This is what, maybe the eighth time, but things have been coming up. I’ve been having to use that car payment money, but now it’s crucial and clear that I need to get an additional source of income. I didn’t want to at first, but now I’ve accepted that it is necessary.
This post resonates with me because I’ve been hesistating for weeks. “Maybe I should call them and explain my situation before they bring the repossession guys out here.”
Then there’s the other part of me that says, “remember that one time, when you called to ask for an extension and the guy was harassing you and didn’t want to get off the phone, and wanted to get all in your business?!” ( that guy was a jerk, I don’t know why I dealt with it but I did. They are real passionate about their job)
I feel like after awhile, they won’t give me any more extensions, but I feel like this may be the last one that I need. Whatever the case may be, I’ve still got to ask and communicate with them.
Thanks for the reminder
Um, you better get on that one Robert
Hey I’m glad you’re taking necessary steps to get things done. Good luck (may the repo guys have mercy on you).
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Darren Sproat, ferrisswatch and John Anyasor, John Anyasor. John Anyasor said: New at HiLife2B Hesitation and I Will Never Get Along: I see something I want. I hesitate. I see another thing I wa… http://bit.ly/930ZfN [...]
Hi John, good post and passionate points you’ve brought up here.
I think the way to deal with hesitation or even fear is just to accept them for what they are. Accept them that they are not “negative” feelings and that they are just our natural mind responses to intimidating situations.
I’ve struggled similarly in this field of life, not knowing what to do. However, the bad thing about those fears and hesitation is that we tend to struggle with them. Once we struggle, extra “negative” emotions will be brought up as a consequence.
Accepting hesitation and fear as a natural response just as how we accept certain crappy weathers of each day without making much of a fuss about it is the way to go. We can’t turn off hesitation, we can’t turn off fear, we can only stand in front of it and pay attention to something that is more important.
Steven´s last blog ..Intellectual understanding Vs. Intuitive connection
Great idea, Steven. I especially like the weather analogy. It’s something we don’t have the power to control, but we just deal with it, without fuss.
I’m one of those people who doesn’t let the weather ruin his day. Thanks for the advice – much appreciated, my friend.
We don’t want to get hurt… that’s why we hesitate. And believe me… it’s possible. But yes… it shouldn’t stop us from doing what’s really in our hearts and what we set our mind to.
Getting hurt is all part of the process I guess.
Thanks John. Another pearl of Wisdom in the pool of life…
Jean Burman´s last blog ..Merry Christmas
No, thank you Jean! You’ve inspired a really deep thought (tweeted it yesterday): When we hesitate, it hurts and it hurts when we hesitate.
Without pain, there can be no pleasure.
Great post. That really hit close to home with me. I’ve been avoiding something integral to starting my own business out of fear of what others (people I don’t even know or like!) might think of me. You are so right! What if I had not done so many of the things that brought me joy because I hesitated. Now is the time for me to focus on me! Thanks!
Eliminate your hesitation along with the poisonous people in your life who are discouraging you. You can do it. It takes a lot of work, but in the end you, and those who believed in you, will be better off for it.
BTW, I believe in you
I had the same hesitation (I mean the exact same issue with starting a business) as you. Where am I now? Let’s just say 2010 is going to be very interesting…
Hey John – your words are ever so true. We can overcome our fears over and over again, yet we still hesitate when it comes time to face another one. And every time we fight through our initial hesitation, the results are almost always positive (or at least they seldom make us worse off than we were before).
For me, when the alternative to overcoming a fear is creating a list of regrets, the decision is too easy to make.
Earl´s last blog ..Airports, Speed Bumps & Uncle Carl
Earl, you’ve hit the nail squarely on the head. Since when does facing our hesitation head on ever turn out that badly for us?
Making a list of regrets is an excellent idea. I did it a few days ago. Now, I’ve taken action, and feel better than ever about it
Hesitation probably comes from a defense mechanism that was useful for our ancestors. It wouldn’t have been a great thing to walk into an unknown cave without hesitation, unless you wanted to become lunch. Knowing why you’re hesitating and figuring out the best course and taking massive coordinated action is a great way to get the ball rolling.
Yeah, it was great back then (otherwise I probably wouldn’t be here), but in this day and age, this mechanism is a hindrance (in more ways than one).
I think we all know why we’re hesitating, it just takes guts in order to act.
Hesitation is procrastination. So easy to do. So hard to explain. Hey, some things will pull you more than others.
I watch my son and how is growing to learn fear that he never knew as a young one. Some will call that young man smart, but I just call it dull.
Now, I am inspired to take more risks to teach him to be more strong. I don’t want my son prone to a hesitant life. I know he adores me so.
Gerlaine´s last blog ..How to Live Better