For some students, being put into the massive social scene that is college isn’t a big deal. There are individuals that can just naturally dominate a conversation. There are naturally funny people who can make a whole room erupt in hysterical laughter. There are even people who can start the latest gossip that stays in the social air waves for weeks on end.
Then there are the shy kids that we all know and love. They were probably shy all throughout high school and, because it was left unnoticed, the shyness habit remained with them in college.
Now shyness isn’t some sort of mental disorder. It’s a habit that can easily be modified by practicing a few techniques that can possibly lower anxiety and boost confidence. The acts of the body reciprocate thoughts of the mind. Simply act as if you’re not shy and your mind will follow suit.
This is what works best for me:
Have strong eye contact
Look up any leader within society, and you’ll notice that they all have this skill down pat. Shy individuals usually divert eye contact as soon as someone makes eye contact with them. It’s important to learn how to casually look away. Don’t do it quickly as if you’re scared of the person looking at you, but do it as if you don’t feel the need to look at them. Always look off to the side or straight ahead, but never look down if you feel uncomfortable. Looking towards the ground when you encounter an individual is a sign of shyness or submission. Only do it unless something below you actually catches your attention.
Be friendly to everyone
Shy people are shy mostly because of the fact that they don’t interact with enough people. They may have a close-knit group of friends, but when talking to strangers, they instantly freeze up. Remedy this by just talking to people you don’t normally talk to. It’s simple. First, start out by just making eye contact. Then, as you get more comfortable maintaining eye contact, try saying hello or just smiling at them (not weirdly, just a regular smile as if to yourself). Over time, this will become second nature to you, so keep trying until you get completely comfortable.
Just do what you want to do
This ties in with becoming indifferent to the opinions of others. As children, we were fun-loving, carefree individuals. We only perceived how we wanted to act, not what people thought of our actions. Now, as adults (or whatever age you may be) we feel self-conscious. It’s as if we are putting other people’s judgment at the forefront of our happiness. “If people think highly of me, I think highly of myself. If they think lowly of me, I feel lowly of myself.” Erase these types of thoughts from your mind. Believe that you create your own happiness.
Overcoming shyness isn’t easy. Also, because shyness is a habit, it’s going to take a while to condition your mind to think more confidently. But don’t let that stop you. If there’s even a small chance you can overcome shyness, you should take it.
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