Stop being reactive.
I’ve been experimenting with this tip when engaging in conversation to great success recently. Matters that would usually set off my “ignoramus-alarm” and cause me to shout, yell, and basically go ballistic, have fallen prey to my being non-reactive.
There are only three steps you have to follow if you want to be completely non-reactive:
1. Pause before you answer anything
Briefly take a moment to assess the situation you may be presented with. There’s some sort of unspoken rule in society that says you have to answer any question someone asks you with speed and efficiency. This actually isn’t necessary.
Stop trying to accomodate who you’re having a conversation with (thinking thoughts like, “If I don’t answer fast enough, they’ll think I’m stupid, being rude, etc.) and slow down.
2. Detach your emotions
You have the right to take yourself out of any pointless discussion, heated argument, or unnecessary quarrel you may accidentally get cajoled into. When emotions get involved, tensions can rise and feelings are hurt. Stay in control of your emotions — let the other people crash and storm around you while you remain as stable as a rock.
3. Keep the “next” attitude on the brain
It doesn’t matter if you say something stupid, rude, or incoherent. In the end, you always get another chance at conversation, so why sweat the small stuff? A mispronounced word during a presentation, an accidental slip of a million-dollar word, even a simple fumbling of your speech into a stutter; it’s not as big a deal as you think.
It’s important to be careful with your words, but if you happen to mess up, move on from it. There’s no point obsessing over miscommunication. Promptly correct your accidents and proceed.
Try this tip today and tell me how it works out for you.
“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” – Oscar Wilde
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12 comments to “One Quick Tip to Transform Your Interactions Right Now”
Like I’ve heard Brian Tracy say a million times…
Pause before you answer because pausing is CLASSY
Joe´s last blog ..#21 Zero-Based Thinking
Heh heh I dig that, Joe. Somehow it’s easier to remember when phrased that way.
In my experience, a pause has this magical ability to slow other people down, too. Quickly gets everyone involved into clearer thinking.
Lauren Lionheart´s last blog ..If This Boat’s A-Rockin’… You Should Be, Too
This is very useful. I remember experimenting and consciously practicing this a while back, and it’s harder than it may sound, but it’s worth the effort.
I see not being reactive as always listening to your inner voice and do or say what that voice tells you, rather than what you think would get you the other person’s validation. I t can not only be useful, but also much more fulfilling than being reactive.
These are pretty simple yet very hard to master. Still, if we are able to master our reactions we can gain many benefits.
The power of the pause! It’s so very hard to master, and yet once you get it, it’s so very masterful! It’s one of my daily challenges.
Claire – Gratitude Connection´s last blog ..Today I’m grateful for…
John,
What a great article on the power of non-reaction.
The person who masters non-reaction can really rise above the crowd.
I try very hard to be non-reactive – but sometimes I just can’t.
Like the conversation I just had w/my mother….ugh! Well, thanks for reminding to take a breath and think before I react!
Angela Artemis´s last blog ..Would Your Rather Have a Big House Or A Big Life?
Yes this is a key factor in stress management. Trying calmly to respond rather than reacting is very difficult at times. There are select words that we can use to help us be less reactive. One tip I can offer is, do not try and interpret what is being said. A great way to respond is by simply asking a question that will help you gain an understanding. Misunderstandings are what cause us to react.
Sandra Hendricks´s last blog ..Defining My Life – What is the Meaning?
Great tip here from you: Don’t be afraid to ask questions and avoid misinterpretation.
Thanks everyone for the comments and thank you, Sandra, for the tip.
John,
Nice post! As one who, in the past, reacted quickly to everything, I can relate. I have subconsciously being doing the three things on this list. It is human nature to be reactive but no proactive. If more people focused on these tips, the world would be that much more serene.
Thanks for writing this!
- Ali