“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow – that is patience.” – Unknown
I think I can speak for everyone when I say that patience is a virtue that most of us do NOT have. In general, we expect things to run smoothly, quickly, and on time. And in most cases, things do run smoothly, and go according to plan. However, when the rare occurrence of tardiness does in fact pop up, our normally calm nature turns similar to that of a raging bull.
Don’t believe me, huh?
Do you experience any of these physical and mental reactions when something or someone makes you wait?
- Mental anxiety
- Irritability
- Pacing around
- Face begins to turn red
- Heavy groaning or sighing
- Loud yelling into the air
- Irregular, angry remarks
If you answered yes to at least three of these seven choices then (in my opinion) you’re an impatient person. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing to admit. And, as is usually the case, admitting a problem is the first step to solving it. I myself was very impatient and have in fact done every one of the choices above (yes, I know, mildly embarrassing). So how did I become more patient?
Well, first I had to understand why I despised waiting so much.
Take a look at the main reason why we really dislike lateness:
We have no control
We are at the mercy of someone else’s tardiness. For example, no matter how many times we specifically told our them to “Be here by 8:00, sharp”, they don’t show up. Or when even more commonly, when we wait for the bus (it’s on a schedule for Pete’s sake) it feels like an eternity before the bus actually arrives. We feel as if it’s our time being wasted not their’s. And there’s nothing we can do about it, but just sit and wait.
Or is there?
There’s only a handful of ways to effectively practice patience. Here are some techniques proven and tested (by me) that I’m sure you’ll find useful:
Channel your impatience into other activities
I’m sure that there are other things for you to do, so you might as well get started. Worry about the task that’s been taken out of your control later. It’s more beneficial for you to be more productive than to remain stewing and inactive.
Stay away from clocks
This one is pure gold. Unless you want a constant reminder of what you’re not doing (i.e. getting on the bus at the scheduled time), please take this technique to heart. Looking at a clock just fuels the flames.
Try breathing deeply
A seemingly simple thing like breathing does wonders for your mind and inner peace. When you’re irritable and angry, your breaths are short and shallow (like a raging bull’s). When you’re at peace or at rest, you breath slowly and deeply. Contort your body to the peaceful state you see fit, and you’re mind will soon follow.
While I’m not the new guru of peace by any means, using these techniques, I’m much more patient than I was before, and I guess I’m happier because of that.
Oh, and here’s the secret this blog post title promised you 
:
The real secret to playing the waiting game is not to play at all.
What about you? How do you deal with impatience? Any interesting stories you have on being late? Share your thoughts in the comments section.
photo credit: aloshbennett
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16 comments to “The REAL Secret to Being Patient”
Patience, I must admit, is not easy to master. However, those hold this virtue commands great success.
As the bible says “It’s is better to be patient than to be powerful.”
Breathing deeply usually does it for me. It helps me put things into perspective. I live with someone who is not very patient at all so I really have to watch how I’m influenced.
Breathing deeply is one way to go about it. I have a photo of my niece in my wallet. Whenever i feel angry/depressed/sad, I just look at her photo, and all is right with the world again.
I have to agree with Carla, breathing deeply is a good technique for me. Also, I try to remind myself when I’m working with someone who might get some concept slower than I do – that we’re all at different spots on the learning curve in all we do – and there’s also things where the roles would be completely reversed – and how would I want to be treated? That usually works wonders for me (not that I remember it every time)….
Ugh! Lance is a psychic copy-cat because he already said what I was GOING to say!!!
I try to remind myself that anyone who is frustrating me is simply not as far along on the spiritual journey. What they need is not for me to get angry and all stressed out, but rather for me to model patience and compassion so that they will learn that skill for their life as well. Teach by example.
I finally learned to be patient when I realized that getting angry or frustrated or trying to force my way rarely yields the results I am looking for. There are so many variables I don’t control and can’t possibly know about, that it makes no sense for me to stress out. Just wait and see what happens… (unless you’re Lance, in which case you already know!).
Interesting ideas on patience. It’s taken me till much later in life to become a patient person. After going to another country and dealing with government and all the hassles there I started to become a much more patient person. Also, when you are not patient you tend to make many more mistakes.
Hi John, nice article. I think we have this concept of “wasting time” when were are not on schedule. The tighter the schedule the more likely we are to experience delays, and possibly impatiences along with it. If we can learn to allow extra time for the unexpected, we are much less likely to feel rushed.
Of course, time is only one area were impatience finds expression. We can also be impatient with the perceived shortcomings of ourselves or others, which is a whole different issue.
Nice post. It’s something I think about a lot. I do have symptoms of impatience. Not just at the bank or at the post office, but in life! I want to be where I want to be now. Not in 5 years time!
What a great post! Patience is my greatest weakness and this post has really helped me out a lot. I’m terribly impatient and I need to work on that A LOT. Thanks for posting this!
Patience is just having the mental poise to realize everything happens for a reason. If you wait for a hour, use that hour constructively.
1. Out line your next blog post
2. Read a book
3. Watch a video on you ipod
4. play your psp
5. Call up your home girl.
6. Do anything but kill your self mentally with thought of negativity.
Great article, excellent words, but i have a question how to stay away from clocks, i haven’t understood this section.
@Walter – Yes, Walter, success favors the patient. Similar to the iconic tale of the tortoise and the hare
@Carla – It’s good to hear that you’re patient with that impatient person you live with
Keep up the good work!
@Lender – Very touching tip on how to be patient. Think of your loved ones!
@Lance – Great idea. Role reversal is an excellent strategy, Lance. When you put yourself in the person’s shoes, you get a better understanding of how they would react to your actions.
@Lisis – ha ha that Lance always stealing your thoughts
What you say is true in that there’s really no point in wasting your breath and time getting angry over something you can’t control. Congratulations on obtaining the value of patience! Must’ve been the trip to Niagra Falls
@Shrinivas – Great thoughts on this, man. I kind of understand what you mean. My parents had to come here and deal with this government before they finally got accustomed to it. But eventually, they (like you) learned the value of patience.
@Jonathan W. – You hit the nail on the head, Jonathan. I’m all for schedules, but be always be prepared for when things don’t go as planned.
Yes, being patient with ourselves is a whole other topic – great idea for a future post though
@Kaizan – ha ha the bank (part of the reason for writing this I admit
). Looking at something in terms of years, days, hours, minutes, etc. it doesn’t get us anywhere. It just makes us focus on the amount of time instead of the use of time. Glad you enjoyed the post.
@Dani – Well, thanks a lot for enjoying it!
@Jonathan F. – ha ha good tips. I like number six best. Negative thinking usually leads nowhere so it’s best not to even start.
@Sameh – I’m sorry you didn’t understand my clock tip. Check out Kaizan’s comment for my stance on focusing on time. Feel free to ask anymore questions, okay?
For me, it always come back to perspective. Is it that I am stuck in traffic for 10 minutes? Or instead, is it that I have been given an extra 10 minutes to relax in my car? Situations have a way of magically transforming into something better just because we are able to look look at them differently.
John, this used to be a big problem with me and still is somewhat of a problem but I’ve improved a lot. Thanks for this informative and helpful article.
I love this! Patience is really important. I remember reading in Siddhartha that one of the three things that made him successful was that he could wait.
Keep up the good work. I think I’ll punch my clock out now!