“Audacity augments courage; hesitation, fear.” – Publilius Syrus
It amazes me how powerful a little thing like hesistation can be. It’s a real game killer.
Public speaking is an issue for me. I don’t why because I’m not a really shy person. It’s easy to just strike up a conversation with a stranger. But there’s just something about standing before a crowd that terrifies the heck out of me. As soon as I realize I’m standing in front of a large group of people, my head fills with thoughts of failure, laughter, and shame.
The funny thing is is that I want to be on stage. I want to give speeches and inspire countless individuals. The only thing that’s holding me back is… my mind. That’s what’s probably holding you back too isn’t it?
In our minds, we create hesitation. Hesitation due to the fear of not knowing – that is what stops us in our tracks. The fear of failure, ridicule, and criticism is what stops us from doing what we want.
And that’s not all. Our logical brains are what’s also stopping us from achieving our desires. It’s because of our negative “logic” that we can’t go for the gold, try our best, or risk possible failure.
What’s worse is that this isn’t even anything new. People have a history of giving into fear and “logic”. They discount themselves before even trying to prove these types of ideas wrong. They have come to accept phrases such as “It’s not possible.” and ”What if I can’t do it?”
We have to understand that this negative thinking, this fear, this hesitation – it only serves to hurt us. We can’t change ourselves by giving in to fear. We can’t win by feeling hesitation. We can’t achieve by thinking we will fail.
Rid yourself of the problem of hesitation by following these two simply priceless steps:
Feel the fear and do it anyway
Whether it’s an instinct or just a mental state of mind, fear cannot stop you from acting. The worst it can do is make you mess up the first time you try something out – and in most cases, that’s what usually happens. Think of it this way: the first time you face your fear won’t always be successful. Your thoughts can still cloud your mind and negatively alter your performance. But take it with a grain of salt. You’ve only done it one time.
Wash, rinse, and repeat
Once you’ve taken the action, it’s time to keep practing. Keep doing it again and again until it becomes routine. As we all know, when things become routine, auto-pilot kicks in. What was once a “big deal” in the past will soon become a common occurence.
Hesitation, fear, and negative thought are three main issues that will mentally bar us from taking action. The solution is to stop thinking. Thinking leads to hesitation, and hesitation leads to inaction. I’m not saying act without judgement, just don’t let hesitation influence you.
Forget the doubt that plagues your mind and keep going.
The saying may go “Look before you leap,” but all you have to do is “Leap”.
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photo credit: notsogoodphotography
There’s definitely something to be said for repetition and just rolling with whatever it is that you fear. Usually you really are just fearing the unknown.
Awesome! Just Leap! Ohh ..i’m all charged up after reading this lovely post of yours.
You know, i do a lot of public speaking…what helped me initially was just being confident in the topic i was speaking about. But then as you said practice is key…and i kept doing it….Now i thrive when i see a crowd. I have come to a point where the more the people the more positively happy i feel to give a better seminar. What fun it is to get over your hesitations!
Thank you for the lovely tips in this post…will help me, when i am facing a new endearing situation.
Very good advice. It is important to follow our gut and our brain will know what to do.
Nice article John. Public speaking gets easier every time you do it (I’ve done a lot of it). The anxiety before you go on stage is generally worse that the actual experience. Once you start communicating everything levels out. So try distracting yourself for the last 15 minutes before you go on stage and you can sidestep the nervousness.
There is a very successful young marketer who’s motto is “ready, fire, aim!” Too much time spent aiming can result in never taking action.
Hi John,
I’m glad to have stumbled here. Will read more often! Thanks.
Nice article! I’ve been thinking a lot about fear in the last little while. I fear my writing being seen by others! But, I’m trying to overcome it by commenting and starting my own blog. I’m feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
I say if you want to be a speaker get involved in Toastmasters. I started there and it’s very very reasonably priced, people only and I mean only want to help you.
you don’t have to do a speech until you’re ready. It’s amazing…you just can’t lose. And if you begin next week think of where you’ll be a year from now. Leap!
I can say with complete conviction that you’re churning out more quality material on your blog than other blogs could ever hope to achieve. I’m confident that you can become a respected public speaker one day.
In fact, from observing what you stand for and your lack of shyness to share yourself on the internet to so many people, I think it really will happen if you keep going in the general direction you’re going and believe that you can do what may not seem logical to hope for right now.
Join a Toastmasters if one is available in your area. It was one of the best decisions I ever made when I joined and I think the same sentiment could apply to you.
I have this problem as well. It’s not so much shyness, more to “what do i do in case i messed up” thinking that has got the best out of me.
And you are right, practice makes perfect. All you got to do is to keep on doing it. Until you are comfortable with the act of speaking in front of large audience.
Great post.
@Srinivas Rao – I think the fear of the unknown is a really harmful fear. You waste energy worrying over nothing, and then when you finally get past the fear, you realize how trivial it was.
@Zeenat – It’s no problem. I love hearing that you got charged up after my post. That’s usually the effect I go for
I really want to be more like you – to truly thrive in a crowd and be confident when orating is another goal of mine. Thank you.
@Bunny – Yes, sometimes we think too much and we don’t do anything.
@Jonathan – Thanks for the tips on public speaking. As you know, it’s something that I struggle with quite a bit. I’ve heard that quote before and it gets the point across very well in terms of how you should approach hesitation.
@Naz – Sweet, you’ve taken the plunch!
I actually have one of your posts in my tabs right now. (It’s the “Fear of Writing” post.)
Don’t be afraid of putting yourself out there. All you’re doing is sharing your ideas and insights with a large audience (most of which you don’t even know!). And besides, what’s happened after starting the blog? Nothing bad I’m sure. People want to hear your insights, you just have to have the courage to share them.
Good luck with the blog, Naz!
@Tess – Thanks for your comment, Tess. It’s really boosted my spirited. I’ve heard of Toastmasters before an I think they have a club near my college so I’ll check it out when I go back. It really changes people’s lives, both in and outside of public speaking.
@Tim – I only hope that I can live up to your compliments
I’m truly humbled.
Yes, I do plan on joining Toastmasters if they can maintain their spot near campus. If they can’t I might join a regular pub-speaking group at school. It might not be better than TM, but hey, how can you practice if you don’t even start? Thanks for your thoughts.
@Karlil – I’m happy you enjoyed the post. It seemed like a common problem these days (Well what do I mean these days? It’s been an issue for centuries I’m sure
). I think pub-speaking is an essential skill to learn if anyone wants to build their confidence. Glad to hear your thoughts on this, Karlil.
Over the last year there have been things I have feared to do – one was get out their with my gifts and see if people actually want them….
I went to my local market and sat there the whole time waiting for someone to come up and tell me that I had no idea what I was doing and that I shouldn’t be doing it.
Ironically enough, no one did that. And thinking rationally about it, who would have the right to say that anyway?
I think you will find the same with public speaking… If anyone ever says someone did a crap job at speaking then they need to be invited to do it instead!
Good luck!
Great stuff John. I’ve been thinking about getting that book – Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway. Thanks!
It also helps to remember that everyone has fears of some type. Even great speakers often have butterflies before getting on stage. The goal is not to eliminate fear but to just get through it.
Another key point is that reality is never as bad as our fears. We always tend to imagine the worst case situation. Your hair is not going to catch fire while you are running around naked. The absolute worst case is that you will be boring while getting a little more practice and you will find some areas to work on for your next speech.
If people laugh, so what. You are the one that is putting yourself out there. Any idiot can be a passive critic. Take pleasure in that you are making the effort to express yourself. That is what life is all about.
“Do what you fear most and the fear will disappear”.
I forgot who said those words but they are too true to forget. We all have fear, within our mind. We feel anxiety, pressure and thoughts of chaos consume us. But you must do it anyways. The feeling you will receive after you have defeat your fears or even attempted will make you feel ecstatic. Its the greatest feeling in the world to have. so go out and face those fears!
Wow! its very nice article.As you say the problem is not ignorance of the things.Usually mind goes blank when you have a mass before whom you are supposed to speak up something