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Whenever you try to change yourself, whether it be in a positive or negative way, expect resistance. Where that resistance comes from varies, depending on the goal. It can come from you, someone else, or even your environment.
What have you been trying to do recently? What is keeping you from getting there? Is it yourself? Your family? Your friends?
I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to say to them “I know you feel that way, but this is what I’m going to do.”
You don’t have time to argue about decisions you want to make. If anything, the people you’re going to be arguing with are going to try and talk you out of whatever you want to do. You won’t see eye to eye. You just have to go for the greatness.
In the coming months…
Some of the actions I’ll be taking in the next few months are going to piss people off. Mostly my friends (or whoever will be left of them at the end of my six-month plan) and readers will be the ones who’ll say how stupid or how crazy I am. There’s nothing I’ll be able to do about that, but keep moving on with my life. LIFE GOES ON. Those who want to cease contact with me because I’ve sacrificed a part of my social life for my new productive lifestyle, you may leave. Those who want to unsubscribe because I don’t because I won’t post frequently enough, the virtual door is right there.
This year is the year I start making HUGE changes. I took (very expensive) action last December during the break, and if what I’m doing works, I’ll let you in on EXACTLY what I did to do what’s working. There will be no more writing about what will happen if you take action, because God knows that topic has been beaten to death on hundreds of other blogs as well as my own. Probably this statement alone will cause the lot of you to unsubscribe, but that doesn’t interest me anymore. It’s time for me to start showing the RESULTS of my own action.
My original fall from grace
My original goal when starting this blog was to make lots of money and get lots of subscribers by writing generic content. Seeing that didn’t work, I decided to write about what I liked and still get lots of subscribers and make money. In the past 3 months, I’ve since dropped the last two parts of this goal, and have decided to only write about what I like and connect with as many people who care about what I care about.
I once believed that, according to Kevin Kelly, getting 1000 true fans would make me a guru, and that I would be respected. That if I had special mentions on other blogs and acquired social proof that I would be successful. I see now that this doesn’t matter. I’m not looking for 1000 true fans. I’m looking for a thousand true friends. People I can connect with and relate to.
Having said that, I will from now on only write when I have something brilliant to say. If I want a thousand true friends, I can’t publish generic thoughts and unfinished ideas. If I do that, you’ll already know that that’s not the “real” me. It’s taken me a long time, but I’ve finally realized the value isn’t in pageviews, stats, and the like.
New affirmations and the consequences they bear
On the path to blogging and real life success, I’ve decided to make a few changes to how I blog and a bit of how I live:
- I’ll still guest post (naturally, I like meeting new people). Before, it was merely for more subscribers. Now all I seek is to connect with more like-minded individuals.
- The subscriber count stays. Naturally, people attract other people, but once I reach 1000 subscribers, it’s adios for the counter 
- I’ll try to keep posting on Mondays and Thursdays, but if I have nothing to say, don’t count on me posting anything.
- My future posts will try to make you think about things in a new perspective instead of restating an obvious universal truth.
- I take requests for guest posts I’ve gotten a few already, but just I just want you to know I’m open to guest posting if you send me an email.
- Say bye-bye to me commenting on other blogs. It’s much too time-consuming and sometimes I’d just like to say thanks for the post instead of trying to write a minipost in the blogger’s comment section. I’ll just send them a tweet.
- I’m going to be working more and having a social life much, much less. To the readers I hang out with offline, that means I won’t be around as much. I have some things I’ll be working on and, to be honest, I feel my work is more important to me than listening to you talk about classes, relationships, and Mario Kart.
I initially came to college to make friends and be a doctor. Then I decided to become an economist and still have a social life. But now my aim is to become the sole owner of my time directly after college. I’m not getting a job (easy to say, right?). However, there are some things you’re going to have to sacrifice if you want those dreams and intentions to become reality. I’ve lost a few friends already, but I’m not afraid to lose a few more. I’m not afraid to “waste” my college experience. Why? Because it’s what has to be done.
The moment I decided I wanted something different than the rest was the moment I knew I’d have to forgo certain ties and deal with certain consequences.
They say that these will be “the best four years of my life”. No, I disagree. The best years of my life have yet to come.
“I have no ambition in this world but one, and that is to be a fireman. The position may, in the eyes of some, appear to be a lowly one; but we who know the work which the fireman has to do believe that his is a noble calling. Our proudest moment is to save lives. Under the impulse of such thoughts, the nobility of the occupation thrills us and stimulates us to deeds of daring, even of supreme sacrifice.” – Chief Edward F. Croker
photo credit: woodleywonderworks
Great Post John! I like your honesty. Really Life, success or happiness is not about just creating fan following or earning lots of money but more about developing real friendship. I have read somewhere “If you want to know how rich you are, don’t count your money. Shed a tear from your eye, and see how many hands are there to wipe it”
Sourav, that’s a wonderful quote you have at the end. Truly inspirational. I have no doubt in my mind this decision is the right. Where it will lead me, depends on me.
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Over the past almost two years I’ve been blogging, I have seen other bloggers such as yourself make changes in how they conduct their blogging life. Many people just throw in the towel and give up because they didn’t become a problogger in a year. I had to slow down a bit over this past year. Life happened and I couldn’t keep up. I didn’t give up, but I changed the rules of the game just a little.
Carla´s last blog ..The Greatest Gift
Thanks for adding a little personal experience into the mix, Carla. I’m not out to be a problogger anymore, just a knowledgeable friend. As far as I’m concerned, I’m already changing people’s lives. That’s worth more than the title of “problogger” any day.
Good for you, John, for knowing what you want and taking steps to make it happen. It takes guts and determination to set boundaries and I hope that your new system works for you. Best of luck!
Daphne´s last blog ..Faith and Gratitude
Thanks Daphne! Without guts, I would’ve ended this blog months ago
John, I congratulate you on taking this brave step toward what you really want out of life.
I myself have lost a few friends since I decided this summer to go off and do my own thing instead of joining the rat race after school.
I just don’t care to have people in my life anymore that only care about their 401k and going golfing. It’s not my thing. And they can’t relate to my small victories of making a couple hundred dollars a month. They think I’m wasting my time and living in poverty, which I may very well be, but at least I’m free and at least I’m working toward my own goals.
Good luck, man. The path you’re walking may not be an easy one, but if you can stay strong and make through the challenging “initiation period” the results will be more than worth it.
Take Care,
Clayton
Clayton´s last blog ..The Question
Thanks, Clayton. I think you yourself are well on your way to success. At least you’re making some sort of income with your websites. Mine on the other hand have a loong way to go.
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Funny how goals change over time isn’t it? What we once thought was important isn’t so much anymore… I think that comes down to one letting life take its course and recognising it!
Good luck for the new direction!
K
Life is funny
It’s about I wrote more for myself and the benefit of inspiring others than for the increase (and decrease) of subscriber numbers.
You’re definitely not just a number, Kirsty
I really liked this post. I can definitely respect the fact that you will be working so hard to be able to have control over your own time in the future.
I just started reading your blog and though it’s sort of off putting hearing what your original goals were, I think it’s great that you are now being honest.
Having control over my own time is a big dream of mine and wish I had started something similar while I was in college. I’m still young though and although it may take longer it will be so worth it.
Good luck with everything. Looking forward to reading the upcoming quality posts!
Hey Kristie, thanks for letting me know how you feel.
Yep, what can I say? Mistakes were made. I’m not saying that it was the right thing to do, but hey, I’m a better person now.
You too can take control of your time (just read and start implementing Tim Ferriss’ teachings). It’s anything but easy, but in time, you’ll get that goal, no problem.
John, you hold high expectations for yourself. I visit here often because you are genuine, wise and inspire me.
My blog deals in the spiritual realm and I often hear people say they have to go to the mountains to find God. But I believe the kingdom of God lies in the laughter of small children, the face of the homeless, the people who live their lives day to day hoping to leave this world a little better than when they arrived. I know you are one of those make the world a better place guys. It belongs to all of us who are all part of the family of man.
Don’t leave your friends too far outside. A well rounded life is one worth living. Make time as you do already to improve the intellectual facet of your being, your emotional and spiritual facets, strengthen the physical body and the social part of yourself as well.
You are such an awesome man. Life is too short to work all the time. Hold on loosely
With love, Erin.
Erin´s last blog ..The Spirit Within Us
Thank you for your concerns, compliments, and wonderful advice. It’s just that sometimes, I feel that I’m not doing enough. I feel like I’m not giving my best. This isn’t just a hobby for me; it’s something I love doing.
I’ll try not to leave my friends TOO much out of the loop. But they sometimes distract me. I have to keep my eye on the prize.
There is more than enough time, money and resources.
Erin´s last blog ..You Can Do It
Hi John. Can so relate. Good for you for being willing to mould and shape your intent into something that feels more right with your heart.
Following your heart is the only way to go. It’s not the easiest or safest or surest way… but it’s the only authentic way.
I am trying too. And staying open. I too feel the best is yet to come and I am a long way further down the life road than you!
But optimism reigns supreme… chipping away… doing what I do simply because I love doing it and absolutely couldn’t exist without it.
Be “you” John… always.
Jean Burman´s last blog ..For Auld Lang Syne
Thanks Jean! These days, it’s not so hard anymore. I feel like want to write more than I ever have. lol writing is a chore, no more – I’m back
In order for your intentions to become real, you must be willing to act more than just simply intend.
I see great success for you. Actually, you may have already achieved it
Hey John, the overwhelming message here is that you have decided to be your true self. WHAT AN EXCELLENT CHOICE. The resistance comes from refusing to be the person others expect you to be. Maybe getting over it will help them grow! I commend you my friend, you are on the right path because it’s your path.
Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills´s last blog ..Time to Focus on Abundance Instead of Scarcity
Jonathan, thank you so much
I don’t know where this path will lead me – maybe I’ll lose everything. But in the end, I know I’ll be better off than I am now.
Taking action is better then thinking “what if”. I’m happy you support my decision. I hope the results are well worth it.
Thanks for this post, Jonathan. I am undergoing the same metamorphosis, and enjoying blogging for the fun of it. And it is very rewarding on so many levels.
I’m glad you’re on this path. Keep at it David; the rewards just keep coming.