Posts tagged with construct

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July 22, 2010

A Test of Controlling Your Emotions

Awhile back I wrote about how to stop being reactive. For this blog post, I’d like to expand on that idea a little bit more.

Emotions are extremely difficult to control. The reason for this is that they’ve been driving our actions since we were born. If we felt like having ice cream, we’d ask for it, or if we were in the mood for a new shirt, we’d go buy it.

If I didn’t feel like writing today, I probably wouldn’t have written this blog post. This alone is more than enough proof.

The way I see it, most of us are slaves to our emotions. Now that’s not a bad thing. By all means, if it feels good to give way to your feelings, feel free to do so. As you can tell, we’ve been doing that for a while.

Unfortunately, we’ve been so accustomed to letting our emotions run free that we forget to place restrictions on them. For instance, sometimes people will intentionally bait you into getting angry just so they can see you lose control. This is similar in the way that we incite others to laughter by doing something comical or telling a funny joke.

Either way, this ends up making us do things we never intended, saying hurtful things we don’t mean or getting riled up over issues that don’t really matter. When that happens, it’s really just an effect of acting on our emotions with abandon for so long.

It is for this reason that a very small number of people can effectively control their emotions. Public speakers and lawyers are just some of those that have to be able to master this technique — the high-stress situations they work under call for it. For regular people like us, however, we don’t have on-the-job training to force us to command our feelings so easily.

But that’s why you have me.

See every opportunity for an outburst as a test

Over time, I’ve come to realize that we have a choice in the way we go about our actions. That’s why these days I view opportunities to lose my temper as tests. When someone tries to bait me into getting a certain response, I just imagine a mental scorecard in my head presenting me with two options, yes or no.

Yes as in “Yes, I’ll lose my temper this time”, or no as in “Not going to overreact this time”.

This is just what I do, but the main thing I want you to take away from this is that we always have a choice in whether to unleash fury on someone else or keep ourselves in check. It just takes practice to be able to do this every situation — no matter how emotionally taxing.

Think happy thoughts (seriously it works)

Though our feelings do have considerable power over us, it’s not impossible to suppress them. Some people may choose to say comforting phrases over and over or some might resort to purchasing a cheap stress ball, but what I find works for me is just thinking happy thoughts.

Are you in a heated argument? Practice the power of conjuring up amusing memories and kiss your temper good-bye. Taking yourself out of a stressful situation and into a calming one does wonders for ones self-control.

Now this technique is also very tricky (like I’ve said, it’s not easy). I recommend just stopping yourself for a minute and looking at the situation from an impartial point of view. Then all that’s left to do is think about how funny it’ll be when you’re 3 days into the future. You’ll have lost interest by then. Funny, right?

Well, when you’re in the moment it won’t always be. Sometimes you’ll just be seething with anger, ready to throw a punch if anyone gets even an inch within pushing your buttons. And yes, it happens. People will push your buttons and expect you to react accordingly.

But that’s the beauty of being human. We don’t have to react the same way to the same situations. Upon repeated exposure, we automatically build up resistance. Once we get used to these situations (in which people keep pushing the same buttons) we end up not caring.

I still recommend mastering the art of self-control. It’s a skill not many can learn — it’s easy to get used to things, but it’s much harder to change yourself.
Creative Commons License photo credit: Victor Bezrukov

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June 28, 2010

Be Your Best Self

Have you ever heard the phrase, “It’s not enough just to be yourself. You have to be your BEST self”?

If not, then I’m almost certain that you’re not taking this most important action everyday.

To be your best self is to put everything you have into making each and every day meaningful to you. It is to be your ideal self.

Being your best self, of course, is easier said than done. Most of us can’t live up to our ideals; they’re just locked too deep from within as the result of insecurity, peer pressure, and self-consciousness.

Others, instead, will push past this resistance to embrace freedom and the power of choice.

Do what you want to do, not what you feel you must do

I’ve lived as a servant before, only doing things others would tell me to because these things were acceptable to a number of people vastly greater than myself. During this time, I wasn’t being myself, let alone my best.

I was simply going through the motions, without direction nor a purpose. And if you’re missing either of those, consider yourself a slave to whomever decides to act on you first. I followed orders quite well, almost to a T, never trying to make myself noticeable or different.

I’m living now as myself. I strive everyday to live as my BEST self. A self that no one can merely tell what to do. A self that only I control. A self that does work which truly matters, not busy automation that a robot can do.

I enjoy going where no person has gone before. Challenging our not, if a new path is open and seems interesting enough, I have no choice but to pursue it.

As a hedonist, I survive only for pleasure. While pain may occasionally show itself in the form of failure, love lost, struggle, etc. I understand that it will one day pass. And when it does pass, it is my choice whether or not to embrace pleasure again or whether I want to remain covered in depression and pity.

Find out who you are and express it

You must determine what kind of person you are or what type of individual you wish to exist as. Once you discover that, it is imperative that you immediately portray it.

Think of yourself as an actor in an award-winning motion picture. This picture is called “Your Life”. Who do you want to be when the movie plays?

What does your character do? Is he a boring math teacher who goes strictly by the book and never strays into the realm of creativity, or is he the type of teacher that teaches the way he wants to teach, not only teaches his students but inspires his students, and is fondly remembered long after class ends?

How does your character act? Is he irrationally, overemotional, and reactive? Does he have low self-esteem and believe himself to have little self-worth?

Or is he cool, calm, and calculating? Does he radiate irrational self-confidence and exude a certainty of excellence that this world has never seen?

You alone decide who your best self can and will become.

Nevertheless, it’s not enough that you want to be somebody else or want to live like somebody else. If you don’t start acting like your ideal self, you never will be.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Aleera*

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June 17, 2010

Interview with Chris Guillebeau: How to Achieve the Unconventional

Challenging authority since 1978, Chris Guillebeau has made it his goal to travel to every single country on the planet by 2013. In addition to that, he’s been helping others to create online businesses, follow their passions, and achieve the unconventional.

Chris’s blog, called The Art of Non-Conformity, also has a boatload of quality content containing priceless strategies on life, work, and travel.

With a résumé like that, it comes as no surprise that Chris’s efforts to help change the world have influenced countless other bloggers to follow in his footsteps.

I am one of those individuals.

For being such a great source of inspiration, I’ve invited him to share some of his unconventional wisdom here on HiLife2B during his travels:

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John: What inspired you to start this journey? What was the big epiphany moment that drove you to create the Art of Non-Conformity?

Chris: I began thinking about non-conformity and unconventional living during the four years I spent in West Africa (2002-2006). But the epiphany moment was after that, around 2007, when I had returned to the U.S. and was thinking about the next step. I realized I had been fortunate to have done a lot of different things, from living overseas to being self-employed for ten years, but I lacked a convergence point to all of it. I started AONC to chronicle the adventure and hopefully help other people in their own unconventional quests.

John: You’ve definitely inspired mine. I’m on my own quest to create a sustainable passive income so I can live anywhere, and do anything. It seems everyone wants to attain this goal, but how would someone go about getting started, assuming they already have a job, a home, a computer, and a family to take care of?

Chris: There are two approaches to this:

1) I always ask people to think big-picture about what they care about that other people also care about. This is important because despite what you may hear, you can’t build a business strictly around yourself. It has to be an intersection or convergence between yourself and a big enough group of prospects/customers/supporters/clients to support you. Ultimately, that is the best path to starting a business oriented about someone’s passion.

2) That said, you can also just get out there and start doing things. The “throw stuff against the wall and see what sticks” strategy can work very well, especially in the beginning when you’re not sure what you want to do. Can you list something for sale on eBay or etsy today? Create a website in a day? Offer some kind of service on a blog and see who’s interested? There are all kinds of interesting business models out there just waiting to be discovered. Look at this guy who wears company t-shirts every day for a living. Look at the infamous million dollar home page. Those ideas are taken already, so what’s yours?

John: I think I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve (laugh).What do you think it takes to live the life you want? Is it really as easy as it seems?

Chris: I don’t know if it’s easy — it may be easier to go with the flow and do what other people expect you to — but I also don’t like it’s prohibitively difficult. We all make time for what’s important to us, one way or another. I think it’s better to do that intentionally, which requires tradeoffs and sacrifices, but is also very rewarding.

John: What do you think is the biggest challenge for people when traveling to new countries, or anywhere new for that matter?

Chris: The biggest challenge is fear of the unknown. When you enter a new environment, things work differently than in a familiar environment. One tip: to overcome this, it’s usually best to figure out how the new environment works than to insist on doing things the way you are used to.

John: What do you plan to do after you’ve visited all of the countries in the entire world?

Chris: As Jacques Cousteau said, “Jet lag is my favorite drug.” I travel for travel’s sake — I like the process, the planning, and just being on the road. I probably won’t go to places like Equatorial Guinea, where I’m writing these notes, but I’ll still keep going.

John: If you could give one last piece of advice to all of the individuals striving to achieve better lives and reach their dreams, what would it be?

Chris: Most people don’t begin to think about leaving a legacy until they’re close to the end of their lives, or maybe even on that deathbed. I think it’s much better to think carefully about legacy as early as possible.

I’d also encourage everyone to live with as few regrets as possible. This isn’t as difficult as it may sound. Start by thinking: if I had only one year left to live, how would I spend it? Then find a way to incorporate those ideas, dreams, and goals into your daily life.

John: Thanks for the interview, Chris! It was a pleasure to have you.

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I only promote what I whole-heartedly support, so I highly recommend checking out Chris Guillebeau’s website, The Art of Non-Conformity.

If you want a chance at reading some of his premium content and learning more about what Chris teaches, look into the Unconventional Guides (some of them are in my “Read These Books” section on the sidebar) and follow him on Twitter.

Creative Commons License photo credit: gwen bell

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June 7, 2010

Your Life’s Purpose

The goal is to be content. Your ultimate end in life — you know, that vision for yourself you always think about in the back of your mind — shouldn’t have to involve eventually riding on million-dollar yachts, spending numerous weekends at the Hamptons, and buying stylish clothes or high tech electronics.

Marrying a nice girl or boy, having kids, getting a tricked out van to stuff them all into, buying the perfect house, reaching your “dream income”, drilling every piece of information (enjoyable or not) into your children to be future leaders of the world, having a laundry list of accomplishments to insert into casual conversation amongst your colleagues (you know you love hearing the “oh my’s” and the “amazing’s”), just to name a few more …

I admit, those things would be nice to experience in moderation. Even now, they sound pretty easy on the ears.

You think I don’t like it when people praise me for my accomplishments? I eat it up. To be humble is the best part:

“No, no, it’s not a big deal, really. I just happened to save 1,000,000 starving children in [insert third world country] with a donation from the John Chukwuma Anyasor fund. No big.”

But the things that give us such fleeting pleasure aren’t everything.

Your happiness shouldn’t have to come from material things and menial feats that merely serve to validate and skyrocket your social status. They should come from experiences made for yourself and/or with other people.

I’m not saying you have to help anybody in a big way. If that’s your goal, that’s okay, but don’t feel pressured into changing the world. All that matters is that you feel strongly about something and share it with however many people you want.

Make clothes for the poor, if that’s what you enjoy doing.

Sing a song for all to hear, if your heart wills it.

Or write poetry and keep it to yourself; for your eyes only.

It doesn’t matter what you do in this world, as long as you do what makes you the happiest. And I can guarantee that you won’t find happiness in buying brands and other depreciating products.

The flip side

Let’s say that you brazenly ignore my advice. You instead choose the conventional over the adventurous.

Let’s say that you get every thing that you’ve ever wanted (a big car, house, trophy wife/husband, your name in lights). I’m sure you’ll feel happy in the moment. Whenever I get called on for being great or receive a gift from somebody else, I get really happy.

But afterwards, long after you’ve gotten your recognition, gotten that one thing (or those things) that you’ve always wanted… the feeling fades. It begins to mean less and less to you. And it doesn’t even matter because maybe your house is getting a little old. The neighbor’s kids got higher marks on their standardized tests. Your one-use gown is SO last season.

You have to keep accruing more. More and more accomplishments are to be achieved and bought. It’s never enough.

Then the time will come when you decide that you either just don’t care anymore or you’ll keep accruing until the day you die. The result of the latter option seems fairly obvious; simply consumption to extinction.

But what about the former?

When you choose to stop buying what you don’t really need or want, what will you have left to fall back on? So many years will have been wasted investing time and energy to make money just so you can buy back more time and more energy to make more money.

Regardless, this choice is not hopeless. In time you will make your way back to what you’ve always wanted to do. If you got paid for this hobby, whatever it is, you would do it all day long.

In the end, your life’s purpose is your own

Ideally, everyone would live life simply to be content with ourselves and the memories we make with others. But in a world like ours, where money, fame, and status are held to higher regards than simply living well, it’s not always easy.

Nearly everyone I know is raised to “achieve”, which typically means getting most of the things that I mentioned earlier before a certain age. With family and social pressures closing in around you from all sides, how can you possibly live a life your own?

Simple. You must choose to. However way you get to that life lies on your shoulders.
Creative Commons License photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography

12 comments

June 3, 2010

One Quick Tip to Transform Your Interactions Right Now

Stop being reactive.

I’ve been experimenting with this tip when engaging in conversation to great success recently. Matters that would usually set off my “ignoramus-alarm” and cause me to shout, yell, and basically go ballistic, have fallen prey to my being non-reactive.

There are only three steps you have to follow if you want to be completely non-reactive:

1. Pause before you answer anything

Briefly take a moment to assess the situation you may be presented with. There’s some sort of unspoken rule in society that says you have to answer any question someone asks you with speed and efficiency. This actually isn’t necessary.

Stop trying to accomodate who you’re having a conversation with (thinking thoughts like, “If I don’t answer fast enough, they’ll think I’m stupid, being rude, etc.) and slow down.

2. Detach your emotions

You have the right to take yourself out of any pointless discussion, heated argument, or unnecessary quarrel you may accidentally get cajoled into. When emotions get involved, tensions can rise and feelings are hurt. Stay in control of your emotions — let the other people crash and storm around you while you remain as stable as a rock.

3. Keep the “next” attitude on the brain

It doesn’t matter if you say something stupid, rude, or incoherent. In the end, you always get another chance at conversation, so why sweat the small stuff? A mispronounced word during a presentation, an accidental slip of a million-dollar word, even a simple fumbling of your speech into a stutter; it’s not as big a deal as you think.

It’s important to be careful with your words, but if you happen to mess up, move on from it. There’s no point obsessing over miscommunication. Promptly correct your accidents and proceed.

Try this tip today and tell me how it works out for you.

“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” – Oscar Wilde

Creative Commons License photo credit: polandeze

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May 27, 2010

No Inspiration

I’ve once again fallen into the rut of writing for the sake of writing instead of writing for the sake of caring.

There are so many things I want to read and want to share with you guys.

Unfortunately there are too many distractions occupying my time. Namely school.

Thankfully, the school term’s about to come to an end in a few weeks. Another great end to another semi-interesting year.

On the plus side, I’ve made over $200 courtesy of my affiliate products. Thanks Chris Guillebeau! And thank you guys for supporting my blog and Chris’s work by purchasing his e-books. You’ll find that they’re worth the money. When summer starts, I’ll provide definitive reviews on all of the products that I’ve read and used.

Anyways, did you guys catch that? I made over $200 dollars (more like $278.56) online. I never thought that I could make any sort of cash through the internet. I mean, sure I believed that it was possible, just that I never thought it would happen right now. It always seemed like some sort of faraway accomplishment. Like my head was up in the clouds when I decided take on that challenge.

Now that I’ve achieved that goal, I feel like getting a full-time income from blogging is entirely attainable.

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When you have so many things going through your head each and every day, it’s hard to be really focused on one thing. It’s not difficult to find time to write, but when I stare at the screen for literally hours at a time not knowing what to write because my mind wanders to assignments that might be due or errands I have to finish, it gets frustrating.

I actually have a lot to say, but that ends up being a double-edged sword at times.

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I’ve changed how I respond to comments. If readers ask me questions or leave comments that warrant a response, I’ll reply in full. If not, please understand that even if I don’t respond, I read all the comments (I even skim over spam). Rest assured your comment is being read by human eyes.

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Some of my favorite blogs aren’t within the personal development sphere. I think I know why. Most of the personal development blogs that I don’t tend to come back to simply relay advice. Where’s the personality? The pizazz? The intoxicating oneness with the blog and the blogger?

I don’t want this blog to just be about “giving advice”. I don’t want this blog to be just like the other blogs. This is about inspiring people to achieve their dreams – in a creative way.

My personality must shine through.

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I’ve always wondered why my most popular post of all time is “Blog Update: The Road Ahead”. Now I think I know the answer.

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I’ve noticed some bloggers have left the blogosphere. We (including everyone you have affected with your writings) will not forget you. We’ll always have Facebook and Twitter… even long after they merge into Twitterbook.

******

I hope you found this post as useful to yourself as it was for me. I just needed to clear my head for a bit.
Creative Commons License photo credit: Vince Kusters

21 comments

May 24, 2010

75 Life-Changing Truths Written While Lying on the Grass

Wrote most of these Saturday evening while (as the title already tells you) lying on the grass outside. They were compiled to get myself out of boredom and now I feel inspired again.

Enjoy!

1. Whenever you focus heavily on an outcome, you rarely ever get it

2. Ultimately, nobody really does care about you more than yourself

3. People love children more than adults because they’re so unpredictable (in other words, act like an adult, but live as a child)

4. It’s very hard for people to follow others’ advice, even more so their own

5. A mountain’s worth of effort will get you anything you want

6. Laying on the grass isn’t as bad as I thought it would be – it’s actually quite freeing

7. What people may think of you matters nothing compared to what you think of yourself

8. The stuff that people try to distract you with (their words, their praise, their criticism) – that is noise. Filter that out and find the true meaning within

9. Complaining alters nothing (or at the very most, alters very little). For maximum impact, physically do something about it

10. I’ve found that people don’t like hearing the truth. That’s why I have this blog. This way I won’t have to argue, plead, or shout to be heard. All I have to do is type

11. Television, movies, books, even blogs – they serve as an escape from reality. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take lessons from them to change your own reality

12. I’m almost certain that I would be happier as an animal than as a human. At least I’d actually live everyday as if it was my last

13. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sex. Just be smart enough to know when and how to do it

14. Sometimes, you just need a break from your normal social circle. I’m lying in the grass instead of going to the movies. What are you doing?

15. If I can make $200 doing what I love (writing on this blog) then so can you doing what you love. Just prepare to work your ass off

16. You really don’t need as much as you think you do

17. Minimalism does not mean to be happy having absolutely nothing. It means being content with having manageable amounts of stuff

18. Placating others for them to like you is low-class behavior

19. I could’ve chosen to be miserable and bored, but instead I’ve decided to make myself happy and write. Are you listening? You can change how you feel in an instant

20. Don’t seek a reaction from other people. Do what you want because YOU want to

21. How can you [blank] another if you can’t even [same word] yourself? Nearly any verb will do

22. Appreciate all music. It is created from the raw emotion of a composer

23. School is only fun from grades Pre-K through 2nd grade. From then on, you have to start breaking the rules to keep from being bored

24. Learning isn’t really that much fun. It’s just interesting. Applying knowledge > witnessing someone else apply knowledge > reading/learning about it

25. The greatest pleasures in life are requited love and doing what you love

26. I used to get scabs all the time. They were the battle scars gained as children waging the war on boredom through play

27. Stories matter

28. Focus on the ‘why’ rather than on the ‘what’. Life instantly becomes more meaningful

29. Don’t let inspiration go to waste. Act on it, just as I’m doing right now

30. College focuses too much on memorization and grades than on what you actually learn to internalize

31. The teachers who have inspired me are the ones who I remember the most

32. Accept the fact that you can’t be the best at everything

33. Science rules the world. Even emotion (although metaphysical) is based in science

34. All emotions are contagious – enthusiasm, depression, anger, you name it

35. White lies are better than regular lies; at least you’re acknowledging the truth rather than completely disregarding it

36. Ignorance is truly bliss. Didn’t even know what racism was until I learned about it in school

37. Farting in public will always be hilarious, no matter how old I get

38. Sometimes it’s better to be a jerk than to be a nice guy

39. The happiest people are the ones who get paid for doing what they love instead of what they like or what they don’t really care much for

40. Everyone is judgmental. Deal with it. You cannot deny human nature

41. Cool, calm, and collected; that’s how you carry on business

42. Certain people will always try and find a way to show your success in a negative light

43. Where are your balls? The opportunities are right in front of you. Take them

44. Why do people keep on living when death would be so much easier? Because life is fleeting and death is forever

45. Doubt really sucks. It serves no purpose other than to keep you from trying something new (okay, and maybe keeping you from getting yourself killed, but still)

46. Public speaking is only scary when you don’t know what you’re talking about

47. Having superpowers wouldn’t make life that much easier. You’d just have a lot more crap to deal with

48. With great power comes a lot of people asking you for help

49. Men and women are actually not that hard to figure out, as opposed to popular belief

50. No lock is impenetrable. You just need to find the right key (never said it would be easy to find though)

51. If religion just feels like an extra set of rules to follow, don’t practice it

52. In fact, if a certain action is more trouble than it’s worth, cease and desist

53. You can’t choose who or what you’re attracted to. It’s a DNA thing

54. Being a skeptic of a traditionally-held idea is positively exhilarating

55. Push your creativity to the breaking point. Your best ideas will be just beyond it

56. Your reaction to a situation is more important than the situation itself

57. To be able to change your life, you have to be bold

58. The world does not reward those who expect things or feel entitled to outcomes

59. There is no point in fearing the things that cannot possibly kill you

60. Nobody knows what you’re thinking until you tell them (or show them)

61. People try new things (good and bad) because they’re bored

62. Your thoughts come through in your body language; if you’re confident, you stand tall or lean back. If you’ve got low self-esteem you slouch and flinch easily

63. It’s not worth it traveling to other countries if you’re just going to sight see. Actually, “live” inside another country

64. Hesitation, fear, and excuse-making are the things that keep the “right time” from happening

65. Without respect, no relationship can prevail

66. Boredom is death within life

67. Everything starts in the enigmatic properties of your mind. Your perception is everything

68. You cannot be completely neutral in this world. Pick a side on your own before peer pressure forces you to

69. Express yourself any way you can: laughing, living, writing, loving, drawing, blogging, singing, working, cooking, building… the list goes on and on

70. People will remember you for what you did more than what you said

71. There’s a reason everyone harps on aging; youth is the only span of time when your stamina, body, and mind are at their highest performance

72. Your problems are not unique. Somebody on this planet is sharing the same pain you are

73. On the flip side, with regards to #72, you could also say the same for accomplishments and joy

74. You think you are any different from the people that inspire others? You too have the ability to inspire

75. Everyone has gifts. It’s up to them to find the value in their own abilities, to find the light underneath their dark, to find the blessing within their curse

Creative Commons License photo credit: Gibson Claire McGuire Regester

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April 18, 2010

What Do You Bring? Give Your Value First

Sometimes I think there are a few people who expect the world to just give them what they want. From time to time, I get emails simply asking me:

“Can you write a post about [completely unrelated product]? It would be great for your readers.”

“I have an idea for your blog.”

“You should tell your readers about [another unrelated topic]. Oh and [request for link exchange]?”

When I get messages like this, from actual people, I think to myself, “I know that you want everybody to know about your product or listen to your message, but why are you coming to me expecting me to do it for you?”

Now, I’m all for helping out

I’m not someone who instantly shuts down requests for link exchanges or product reviews, but if it’s blatantly obvious that you’re only out for yourself, don’t expect me to do your bidding.

Enter a fundamental lesson for society

Long ago, people used to do things for other people simply because they themselves were going to get something in return. And for a while, this worked out smashingly. People would exchange resumes for jobs, hours of their lives for cash, and completed work for grades.

This system created a lot of jobs and helped a lot of people.

But somewhere along the line, the human race got creative enough to think of the Internet; a place where nearly any piece of information is there for the taking, provided you searched long enough.

What’s more is that on the web, there are literally billions of people at our fingertips. We can connect with anyone and spread gossip as fast as wild fire. It was at this point that jobs started to get a little harder to come by.

Instead of hiring more door-to-door salesman, employers fire the ones they already have and are employing highly qualified advertisers to saturate the Internet with ads. It’s no longer profitable to offer services that cost next to nothing to obtain. In other words, you can’t get a good job anymore for having little skill. The door-to-door guys learned that the hard way.

What do you bring to the table?

If you have nothing to offer in a world filled to the brim with free stuff, expect very little compensation. No longer can you fool people with cookie-cutter advice and cheap tricks; we’ve gotten much smarter.

Gone are the days when you spam the web with useless ads and expect people to buy into your message (unless you’re a soulless pay-per-click jockey, you’re out of luck).

This holds true with everything else in life. What is becoming increasingly more obvious is that you must bring something to the table. No one will pay attention to you if you’re just like everybody else. If you want to succeed in life and really achieve your dreams, you must prove yourself worthy.

Times have changed; the ball is in your court

The invention of the Internet has turned living a good life into a whole new ball game. It’s no longer required of you to work for the rest of your life to get paid by the hour, on the hour. It doesn’t take years to establish a business living freely off of your passion.

No one can stand in your way.

In order to get the life you desire, it’s important that you zero in on the value you can provide to others. Keep this in mind as you follow these three steps:

1. You must become the mover

You must be the spark that lights the fire, the momentum that starts the avalanche, the march that begins the movement. You alone are ultimately responsible for where your life ends up. Stop expecting people to do things for you. In school, teachers gave you guidelines for how to do well in class. At your job, the boss gives you assignments that could potentially earn you more money.

But when you want to build the life you’ve always dreamed of, you’re on your own. You have to be the mover.

2. Become really good at one thing

What is one skill you are incredibly good at? Writing, painting, drawing, singing, acting, knitting, coloring, talking? Find it yet? Awesome.

Perfect it. Become one of the top one thousand people in your field of expertise. Let your work speak for itself and you’ll be getting plenty of opportunities to showcase yourself in no time.

3. Give away your best work

The works of art that you put the most time in are the ones that you should give away for free (from time to time). People will be more invested in your cause if you’re so willing to spread value that others would keep under wraps.

In truth, your best work at the time may not be your best work tomorrow. Our thoughts and ideas are constantly evolving. So don’t be afraid to give away too much value – there’s always a brighter idea on the horizon.

4. Charge for your better work

Need I say more?

Live a life made by value

Taking command of your life is not something everyone can do. It requires an immense amount of time, work, and connecting. But if you accept this and pursue your passion with everything you’ve got, the life you’re dreaming of will be waiting for you.

This is what the high life is all about.
Creative Commons License photo credit: Jesse757

4 comments

April 15, 2010

On Building the Life You Want: My Interview with Everett Bogue

It is my pleasure to introduce you to the up-and-coming minimalist blogger, Everett Bogue! Ever since I first came to his blog, Far Beyond the Stars, a little while ago, I’ve become even more of a believer in the fact that we can achieve the lives we want and the goals we desire.

In just 6 months, Everett has used his blog to create a sustainable income of $30,000 a year so far. An advocate of minimalism and productivity, he’s able to live anywhere and do what he most desires.

I just had to have him here for an interview to share with everyone. I hope that you can take with you a few nuggets of wisdom from this talk. Enjoy.

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1. Everett, it’s such a pleasure to have you here. How has life been for you this past year?

Thank you, John!

The last year has been exhilarating. In August of last year, I left my day job with a simple question: how can I apply minimalism to live and work anywhere? This led me to an expedition across the United States in search of this answer.

I lived in Portland, Chicago, and wandered back to New York. During this time, I was able to grow my income online to support myself completely through my blog, which was my goal!

It’s all happened far sooner than I anticipated, and I believe everyone can make this move, if they’re interested in the journey. It’s certainly not easy, but it’s so much more exciting than working a 9-5.

2. Now I’m sure you faced much criticism since you became location independent. Who stood behind you on your decision to embrace your own reality? Were you surprised by the people who were against you?

Initially, honestly, a lot of people said it was impossible. For people that grew up in schools and taught us that we would have nice safe, cushy jobs waiting for us when we get out of college, it’s hard for them to imagine that everything has changed.

How did I count all of the hostility? By not listening to anyone. If you try to govern your life by the consensus of your peers, you’ll be constantly trying to fit in and won’t ever do anything remarkable.

Everything has changed. I believe we need to re-imagine our civilization as an interconnected network of people who own less and live free. The Internet has made this life possible, and the benefits of living free are enormous. Why not take the jump?

3. What would you like to say to the naysayers who didn’t believe in you?

I’m perfectly fine with having people who don’t support my goals and my work. The simple fact is that every movement exists on the fingers of society. Seth Godin talks about there not being a tribe gathered around the status quo. Goethe talked about the idea that art only exists at the fringes of culture. Everything else is normality, which is what many people want.

Location independence and minimalist freedom aren’t going to be a mainstream reality for a really long time, because there will always be a large section of society that isn’t ready to embrace new things.

There’s nothing normal about being free, apparently.

4. How easy is it to become location independent and live the life you want?

To be honest, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. That being said, becoming location independent isn’t for everyone, and it’s certainly not a walk in the park. There are a lot of elements of having a normal job that might make that life more desirable for many people.

When you start working for yourself, you’re ultimately responsible for yourself.

There is a lot of money to be had online, but you have to work for it. You have to learn the tools, and how to present information in a way that interests people.

This is why I bring minimalism to the table, when I’m teaching people how to live this life. The reason for this is simple: it’s so much easier to work for yourself from anywhere if your spending is less. There are so many people living over-extended lives, and it’s really hard to start your own business when your life-overhead is so high.

Reduce your life expenses to the basis of existence, and you’ll have a much easier time making the transition.

5. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?

Wow, 5 years. I have no idea, hah. I don’t think much about the past or future, I’m mostly focused on the present moment. The first week of May, I’m headed Boulder, CO for a weekend, and then out to San Francisco Bay on the 15th.

I’m working on a new e-book, called Minimalist Business, which will focus on teaching the skills that I learned in order to start a minimalist business. There is a great deal of automation technology that exists in order to make an online business essentially run itself with limited input. This way you can focus on what’s important to you. For me that’s doing yoga, cooking great meals, writing and reading.

It’s turning into a great collaborative project as well. Leo Babauta has contributed a short article on running a minimalist business which is absolutely spectacular. Adam Baker is doing an interview on how he runs his minimalist business. I’m incredibly excited. I’m not sure about the release date yet, but it’s more important to me to create a resource that helps people as much as possible.

6. If you could give one very last piece of advice, what would it be?

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my own impact on the planet. I think we’re at a moment in time when we’re dangerously close to destroying everything — I also think we’re at a moment that will be seen as a breakthrough point, when we stopped consuming and started focusing on having experiences, being healthy, and creating human civilization that will be here for the future.

I believe our own personal freedom is deeply intertwined with the health of the planet. To pursue one goal is to pursue the other.

That’s a pretty remarkable state to be in.

Thanks for the interview, Everett.

Thanks so much for the opportunity, John.

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I really support what Everett is doing on his blog, so I highly suggest you subscribe to it. Start implementing what he teaches, giving away value, and working towards the life you desire. Follow him on Twitter.

If nothing else, check out his FREE e-book, How to Create a Movement. Despite the fact that it’s free, this e-book contains a TON of value that I’ve been implementing daily ever since I read it.

And if you really liked this interview, don’t forget to share it below.

16 comments

March 30, 2010

My Epiphany Moments: 100th Post Revelation

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

Yep. This is my 100th complete post on the blog. Oh and it’s also been exactly one year since I’ve registered my domain on the world wide web. I had a lot of backlash for wanting to start this blog. And hey, maybe I deserved it. My reasons for wanting to have a blog showed that my mind was warped: it was money.

I thought that I could make money writing generic college advice. And for a while, I felt confident my “ingenious plan” (cue evil villain music) would work. For about the first couple of months, I wrote about where to hang out in college, how to get good study habits, and how to stand out of the crowd, among other things. I think it was in June 2009 that I started to write about subjects that I enjoyed (motivating people to think differently and inspire them to action) instead of college advice everyone else has heard a million times over.

My first epiphany moment

Then it hit me like a sack of potatoes. Why should I write about things that I don’t like when I can write about topics that I do? Around the beginning of summer vacation, I changed the blog’s tag line from “The story of my college life” to “Personal improvement for life”. After my first guest post, traffic increased by twenty times (as opposed to my usual traffic of 2 or 3 visitors) and I was ecstatic. I felt that personal development is what I should be writing about. I thought that everything would get better after this minor bump, but I was sadly mistaken.

An obvious bump that I couldn’t avoid

They say that it is when you feel the most invincible that you should be the most on guard for something bad to happen. And believe me, it happened and I didn’t even notice.

Even though I loved what I wrote, I began to fall into somewhat of a loop. The articles would be in the exact same format everytime. The routine was killing me. What started as a posting schedule of three posts a week became a mere 1-2 posts a week. This messed me up big time. Since no one had any complaints, I began to just write articles right before I was supposed to post; usually three hours before 12 am.

Unfortunately, it took me a lot longer to recognize this problem. For almost 9 months I drifted in and out of writing well and on time, to publishing utter crap (by my standards) and whenever I felt like it. Even guest posts were as random as my own posts. It was only until recently that I had my second epiphany.

The second one that occurred just last week

It was around this time that frustration, anticipation, and excitement were welling up inside me (an odd combination of feelings, really). My blog’s anniversary was coming up and I didn’t have much to show for it. I still had a small number of subscribers and it had already been a year. I had to take action fast. Then, all of a sudden, I happened upon a string of articles that were conveniently tweeted throughout the month of March:

The Most Important Blog Post You’ll Probably Never Read | ViperChill

How Went From 0 to 1012 Blog Subscribers in 101 Days | WakeUpCloud

The Law of Anti-Attraction | Remarkable Communication

I finally had realized why I hadn’t yet achieved my goals: I wasn’t giving value away. I kept it all, here on the blog. I hadn’t bothered to bring it out into the world much more than I already was.

I feel more powerful than ever

This information, inspiration, and motivation has given me more power than I’ve ever felt before. I can see the vision of my success even clearer now. And even though this year has gone by without much gained (besides wonderful new friends, new challenges, and stumbles, tweets, and comments), I couldn’t have asked for a better year of blogging.

I’ve become a freelance writer. I’ve taken another step in the direction for working for myself. I’ve challenged the minds and inspired the hearts of countless individuals. And best of all, I love what I do.

May another year of blogging and another hundred posts be bestowed upon you guys. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to continue giving value to the world. I may not have completely achieved my goals, but I haven’t given up yet. You can bet that this is the year that I achieve 1000 subscribers.

Mark my words: I will achieve my dream.
Creative Commons License photo credit: The Wandering Angel

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