Posts tagged with desire

This post continues a 1-week experiment post series that I’d like to call, “Short and Sweet”. This series will be based on giving concise, quality content to my readers in 300 words or less. Here are parts 1 , 2, 3, and 4.

How many times are you going to let your goals fall flat? Until one too many cold New Year’s Days pass you by?

I’m tired of hearing you talk about your goals—why don’t you just do them?

Stop telling the world what you’re doing and put a photo where your mouth is. Show everyone that you’re doing the work instead of flapping your gums.

I did this all summer believe it or not. Yes, I’m supposed to be a shining example, and I can only use the “I’m human” excuse so many times, but yeah. I messed up.

Moving on.

I kept telling myself to write a book. I swore aloud that I’d make it real. And then I panicked and second-guessed. Time got wasted.

It took me over half the summer to muster up the courage and put my words to paper. But in the end I did it. I completed my first book.

Talking is the death of any goal and every action.

I’ve made too many promises that I never kept; not only on my blog, but in real life to people that matter. To them, I say… mistakes were made. I never meant to mislead anyone. I only ended up shooting myself in the foot.

Okay! Now I’m going to ask you to do one thing for me.

  • Open up Notepad (come on, who uses paper anymore?) and title it, “[Name of goal] 30-Day Experiment”. Save it on your desktop.
  • Type “DAY 1” in all caps when you open it up. Under this, put the one step you’ll take that day to get closer to the achievement of your goal.
  • Write in it everyday by repeating the second step above and moving on to the next day. Miss a single day and the experiment is ruined. Face it. You obviously didn’t care enough about your goal.
  • Bookmark this post and come back to it in thirty days. Tell me what you achieved.

Got it? Good. Go.
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Hey guys! Long time no post.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been posting a bit infrequently these days. Not because I don’t love you guys anymore (I absolutely do), it’s just that the new e-book I’ve been writing has taken up most of my inspiration. Though there are a lot of changes that have to be made, the direction my book’s heading in is very good.

It’s just exciting to see progress being made.

Now for the most part, I’ve kept you in the dark about the book and haven’t really let loose any real details on what I’ve been working on.

I think it’s time to break the silence.

The premise of the next e-book

The book will address a problem that I feel a lot of us struggle with throughout life.

Do you remember when you were told that you should pursue happiness and that you were to constantly strive to reach your dreams? This sounds fine and dandy, but it often results in you going after what you can’t quantify. You find yourself running after outcomes instead of waking up to the entire process.

In other words, you’re literally “chasing your dreams” and having your efforts fall well short of the mark.

Happiness and dreams; these are things that you can’t touch, and that you can’t hope to realistically achieve.

I’ve actually released a number of posts that have made impressions on the subject, but this e-book will provide more of an in-depth answer to the problem.

It’ll teach you about what you’re supposed to be pursuing instead of the outcome. I also think that this e-book will help a lot more people in ways that my first e-book didn’t.

I played it safe with the first one

Although the free e-book was shared quite a bit—at the very least, a lot more than I expected— it failed to make much of an impact. How do I know this?

Because I played it safe.

I put more effort into making the maxims sound good instead of venturing into uncharted territory and presenting a fresh perspective. Now I don’t dislike the e-book (it’ll be up on the sidebar of the rest of the year, but not a day after that), I just think I could’ve done better. Feel free to grab it while you still can.

Thankfully, there’s such things as second chances.

Let all of yourself come through

With my old experiences behind me, I’ve learned that putting all of yourself into something really makes a difference. When you put passion into a project, it shows.

Even if you don’t know exactly how things will turn out, don’t hold back. Actually, I think that’s all the more reason to not hold back. If you just dip your toe into the pool, will your experience have been worth it? No, because all you did was dip your toe in the pool.

But when you put all of yourself into something, you give yourself permission to feel everything. All five of your senses will be activated and you’ll be truly in the moment.

Jumping into the frying pan

For the entire summer, I haven’t really put myself anywhere. I’ve ventured downtown a lot and hung out with my friends a little bit, but I feel like I’ve been split. My priorities have been all over the place.

  • Should I put time in a good e-book? But then I’m stuck inside all summer.
  • I don’t want to go downtown today. it’s too hot.
  • My friends are going out to dinner… but I think I should write on my blog.
  • I’m running out of cash. I think I’ll write a book… but it might suck… back to the blog…

Arrgghh! The curse of indecision.

So I’ve decided to go on a trip to end this madness. I’ve been wanting to put all of myself into something for a long time and I think a voyage out of the country will help clear my head.

But I’m not going anywhere until I put every last ounce of my being into the book. There’s really nothing left for me to lose.

It’s time to put passion back into your life

Where’s your joy for life? Where does it come from?

Are you experiencing it everyday? What are you putting it in?

Life is meant to be lived. You’re not a robot. Stop telling your kids to quit down when you get back home from work. I hear your excuse; you’re tired. Well, they’re enjoying life—if you want peace and quiet, go upstairs and come back down afterwards so that their passion rubs off on you.

Stop looking down on people who live life in their own way. The fact of the matter is that they are living.

What about you? I hope you can answer that with all of yourself, instead of half of it.

P.S. Before the next post is published, the book will have been completed.
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Editor’s note: More bloggers have joined the fray. Over 16 amazing first steps! Get ready.


I know I’m not alone when I say that upon hearing successful people say, “Do what you love and the money will follow,” the cliche alert goes off in my head. There’s no question we’ve all thought about taking a leap of faith across the chasm of impossibility to see if those timeless words were true. Who hasn’t daydreamed of a life constantly filled to the brim with joy, where work feels like play and the sinking feeling you get right before Monday morning never comes? Unfortunately, most of us have also never tried to take that leap of faith.

Is it the crippling hesitation that corrupts our “go anywhere, do anything” mindset or is it just our feelings of self doubt that stifle us? While these are both true to a lesser extent, they are secondary to a much bigger problem; the problem of not knowing what to do first.

Most people don’t know where to start when they try create a life their own. From this lack of direction, comes doubt. And from this doubt, hesitation. As a result, our hesitation leads to inaction—this is where we get stuck.

To begin doing what we love, and making a living while we do it, we have to have a direction. There needs to be a first step in place before we can move on. This first step will be the most important one that you ever take.

Understanding that this step requires more than just my own assessment, I contacted some of the most successful bloggers in the world to share what they know. From all walks of life, regular people like you and me, they’ve gone through their own journeys in order to live lives their own.

So I asked each of them to answer one simple question:

“What is the first step you should take when trying to make a living doing what you love?”

These are their answers.

Danielle LaPorte of White Hot Truth

“Create an inspiration council. Who do you know – famous, dead, alive, near to you – that’s rocking their vocation? Pretend those liberated heroes are your personal advisory board and imagine what they’d tell you to do every step of the way. Only take their advice (albeit imaginary) when it makes you feel expanded and tenacious.”



Everett Bogue of Far Beyond the Stars

“Reduce your overhead. When you’re trying to strike out on your own, it’s easy to forget that you won’t be making as much as you did at your day job. If you keep spending like you did before you left, you’re liable to fail quicker by running out of money. If you only need $3,000 to last three months you’re a lot more likely to succeed than if you need $17,000 to last three months. Low overhead allows you take bigger risks and increase your chances of success.”



Charlie Gilkey of Productive Flourishing

“The biggest challenge with making the first step in getting paid to do what you love is finding that intersection between what you love and what people will pay you to do in the first place. If you focus too much on what you love and disregard what people will pay you to do, then you won’t be able to put food on the table. If you focus too much on what people will pay you to do, then you’ll make money but you’ll be no happier for doing it.

My recommendation is to find something you enjoy that people are already getting value from and see what you can do to make that solution, service, or product available to more people. And remember: one person’s trash is another person’s treasure.”


Tammy Strobel of Rowdy Kittens

“It comes down to believing in yourself and pushing past fear. If you believe you can do something, passion and focus will follow. I think fear gets the best of so many people. We listen to the lizard brain instead of growing and embracing new opportunities.”



Jonathan Fields of Awake at the Wheel

“First, figure out the activities, people, culture, settings and missions that make you come alive, without reference to whether they can generate money by conventional means. Then, if there’s a conventional path to monetization explore that. If not, look to find gaps in information, community, service, product, mode of delivery and more that can be exploited to create commercial opportunities in a less conventional way.”



Chris Guillebeau of the Art of Non-Conformity

“The first step is to get clear about what you can offer the world. Everyone has something to give, yes — but the trick is to figure out what your unique contribution is, and how that translates into a marketable skill. If you spend time on that at first, the next steps will be much easier.”



Leo Babauta of Zen Habits

“Assuming you’ve already figured out what you love, the first thing you should do is … do what you love. Do it for free, in your spare time, and have a blast doing it. Connect with others interested in the same thing, feed off their energy. Eventually you’ll be able to make a living doing it, but for now, just do it.”


Steven Aitchison of Change Your Thoughts

“When making the decision to do what I love I had to ask a tough question: Do I go for the money or do I go for what I really want to do in life and be proud of my work?  I went for the latter and took a 30% pay cut to do something that I love doing and that’s coaching clients who have addiction issues.  That work also transfers very well into the web and I love coaching clients from around the world. What better way of making a living could you ask for?  Going for the money is great but if you go for the happiness instead you’ll reap the rewards in heart and also financially.  I’ve found that people are attracted to others who love what they do, no matter what field you are in, so you will open up a lot more doors doing what you love and you’ll find a lot more closed doors when you go for the money.”



Dragos Roua of Brilliantly Better

“Short version: Break up with the past.

Long version: Break up with things that are holding you back. It may be your job, your current relationship, or it may be just a belief you don’t know you have it. You gotta let this go.

If you want to make a living doing what you love, it means at the current moment you’re not doing what you love. So, you gotta break up first with what you’re doing now. Make room for what you love.

It’s much easier than you think, once you summon the courage to actually lose something in the process: namely, the old you. It’s in the human nature to associate lost of something with regrets (by the way, I try to break up with human nature in this regard, regrets are a waste of time for me). But even if you will regret some things at the beginning, things will eventually unfold in the right direction.

And the new you will be much more fun.”



Scott H. Young of Scott H Young.com

“My first step: Get out there and do something. Look for a first client, create a first product, put your skills into the market. Too many people waste years of life guessing what the world needs instead of having the humility to ask.”













Colin Wright of Exile Lifestyle

“The first step is figuring out WHAT you love. It’s amazing how many people pursue the dream they’re handed by society, when in reality that dream isn’t a good fit for them personally. Identify what you love, figure out what the first step is to get there, and take it. Right now.”









Glen Allsopp of ViperChill

“Sign a contract with yourself that states you will not stop going until you’ve achieved some level of success. Also agree that you won’t chop and change between projects until you’ve achieved something with the first. I lost years because I was always testing things others told me worked rather than sticking to one thing and finding out for myself.”




Shrinivas Rao of Skool of Life, BlogcastFM

“Find what you absolutely love to do. It has to be the thing that gets you up in the morning and looking forward to every single day. For me, that’s riding waves. Build the business around that.”








Luciano Passuello of Litemind

“Provided that you already know which passion to pursue (not a trivial thing), a good first step is to get in touch with people who already “made it” — those that are already living the reality you want for yourself. If they’re really passionate about they do, they’ll not only be glad to help, but will also show you reality as it is (with the *real* challenges and rewards, not what our brains usually fantasize about it).”







Pat Flynn of Smart Passive Income

“The first step is to create goals for yourself. Not just one ultimate goal, but smaller, tangible goals that will help you reach that final goal of doing what you love to do. Don’t be afraid of deadlines, dates and numbers to help you take action and get to where you want to go.”









Tim Brownson of A Daring Adventure

“The most important first step in my opinion comes just before that. It is to truly know at your deepest level that it is what you love to do and not what other people such as you parents love you to do or what you think you should love to do. If you had $10m in the bank and no need of money whatsoever, would you still do whatever it is every day? If not, then how much do you really love it?”





Celestine Chua of the Personal Excellence Blog

“I’d make sure money is not an issue first, then pursue what I love. When pursuing your passion, there will undoubtedly be an initial phase where you’re picking skills, figuring things out, and that’s when money will be slow. If you have money concerns hanging at the back of your mind, that will affect your dedication to your work, which is not what you want.

When I quit my job in Sep ’08, I was financially good to last for another year. Hence, I didn’t need to worry about money at all (in the beginning) and could get down to dedicating myself fully to my work, without having to worry about whether it’d generate money. In the end, it turned out that I started generating income in the 4th month, and from there it evolved into a sustainable full-time career. I’ve never look back since. Today it’s been almost 2 years, and I’m earning more than my pay back in my corporate job.”



Corbett Barr of Free Pursuits, Think Traffic

“The first step I would take would be to get away. Get away from your job, your town, your friends and anything else that influences how you think about the world. Get away and really listen to yourself. Contemplate if what you “love to do” is really where your passion lies, and if it is really something you want to earn a living from. By unplugging from your normal life for a day or a week or even months (that’s what I did), you’ll be able to listen to yourself in ways that your “normal life” stifles.”



Matt Cheuvront of Life Without Pants

“The first thing I always tell ‘wannabe’ entrepreneurs is that you MUST first figure out what you NEED – not what you want, but what you need. We inherently tell ourselves that we need more than we actually need – needs and wants get intertwined, and when they do, it can seem overwhelming and impossible to survive on your own. But, when you figure out what you need, you’ll most likely come to find you CAN survive and get by with a lot less than you believed. Figure out what you need, then go get what you want.”



Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist

“Discover your strengths and play into them. Do you love to write, speak, create, teach, plan, network, invent, problem-solve, build, or think? Find your greatest strength and build your lifestyle around it.”















Derek Sivers of Sivers.org

“Much of success is luck. What the public loves will usually be a
surprise. So do many things, giving each one 100%, but if the public
just isn’t excited about it, walk away and do something completely
different. Knowing this in advance, your first step should be to just
do anything useful to others, realizing it’s just the first of your
many endeavors and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.”



Erin Dolland of Unclutterer

In my opinion, there are only two kinds of jobs that you can love:
1. A career that you are devoted to with a deep passion, surrounded by great colleagues who support and believe in a similar vision, and that is an integral part and reflection of who you are, and
2. A job that has regular hours, no demands on your time beyond your scheduled work day, generates enough income for a comfortable lifestyle, great colleagues, and a positive corporate culture.
To get both, the first step you need to take is to clear the distractions that get in the way of making it happen. There are no shortcuts — put in the time and energy to get rid of the clutter. Once the clutter is gone, you can focus all of your attention on making your dream job a reality.



Jonathan Mead of Illuminated Mind

“The first step is knowing what you want. The second is then doing shit. Or taking lots and lots of action. Don’t wait to implement until you have the perfect plan, don’t wait for the right resources to show up, or the right timing, or situation. Act now, and then keep acting. Make your business plan “Do Stuff” and that’s it. It will get you much farther than most.”



Adam Baker of ManVsDebt

“I’d eliminate barriers. We had so many barriers preventing us from living intentionally and doing what we loved. Sell your crap. Pay off your debt. Both of these create tremendous added burden. Once you start to see what’s possible, immediately look to how you can provide the most DIRECT value to people in the shortest amount of time. Do that. Do it immediately.”



These are their first steps. Have the courage to take them.

What steps have you taken to live the life you want?
Share your thoughts below.
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There comes a time when talking about the past gets old, or at least, older than you make it out to be. It seems like such a big deal when we talk about it, but you have to realize that talking about matters long gone doesn’t really help you.

What it does instead is delay action:

I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t get the score you wanted, but what are you going to do to fix it? I can see that you’ve gained some weight since your surgery, but what’s your next course of action?

Even when talking about past accomplishments:

Congratulations on successfully selling your first product to a hungry audience, but what about your second? I’m happy to hear that you’ve lost a lot of weight, but what are you doing about it?

I know that you’ve done remarkable things, but who are you inspiring right now?

This shows that a matter of the past is not one of the present. You’ve already experienced it; why bother making yourself relive those moments day after day, month after month, or year by year?

Act presently

Now given this advice, one would suggest that you speak instead of new goals as opposed to old ones.

This too is counterintuitive. Whether you’re living in a past long gone or trying to exist in a future unknown; talking about either serves no purpose.

I used to tell myself this all the time, but I don’t think I’ve ever truly listened until just recently. Evidence for this lies in the fact that I constantly wrote about how much of a pain my past was to deal with.

Family issues, high school insecurities, things like that.

Still, as if to ease my conscience, I reiterated to myself countless times:

“What’s happened in the past is done. I’ve long since moved on.”

“The future will be much brighter. Can’t wait until then.”

I believed that if I told myself this enough times, I would be able to move on. But in the end, that wasn’t what helped me move past these hangups.

What did help me was something that I think most of us tend to overlook when trying to get over the past: I zipped my lips on what I couldn’t presently control.

Which statement is worth more?

I’m looking for a job or I will look for a job?

I’ve practiced for six hours or I’m practicing for six hours?

Use present choice to do what matters now

The past can be left behind by the choices you make now. If you failed before, does that warrant you to think that it will happen again?

No, it doesn’t.

You can choose to use your past experience as a teacher, to help guide you towards success. Or you can choose to remain stagnant, obsessing over what’s already finished.

As with most things in life, choice is everything. The ball is already in your court.

Editor’s Note: I had a post all ready to go on Monday, but due to my sheer dislike for it, I deleted it. I ultimately found it unoriginal and not worth publishing in the first place.

My apologies to those who shared the post minutes before I sent it into deep web space.

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The other night, while I was working on my e-book (details coming soon), I asked myself why I was doing this. Why go through so much pain for one e-book when I can spend my vacation basking in the sun or getting paid the traditional way?

Let’s sit on this idea for a second. It’s summer. There are jobs that I could’ve easily applied for and gotten hired to do. I know plenty of people who could recommend me for very good positions.

So, why am I busting my butt trying to get this e-book done instead of selling out and getting employed like the greater portion of college kids my age do? Why am I doing such hard work that’s so far been yielding me no payment?

I’m not going to get any sort of medal. Maybe a few thousand people will get to see the result of my hard labor. Even fewer will decide to purchase it.

It’s funny that when I’m in the thick of difficult work that I ask myself this. And then the answer came to me, as if I was struck by neural lightning:

Because I enjoyed doing it.

But in an instant, I had another conundrum. I already knew that I enjoyed it. But why was it so difficult? I thought doing what you love was supposed to be easy?

Then another answer came to me in my somewhat enlightened state:

For anything to be a success, hard work is necessary. Hard work is what separates the winners from the losers; the expendable from the indispensable.

A wake-up call already woken up to

Somewhere along the line, we’ve seem to have forgotten the adjective that goes in front of the word “work”.

All the time I hear the gurus say we should be doing “work that matters”. Instead we should be telling ourselves to do “hard work” that matters. I don’t know about you, but I get the notion that most of us think doing what we love is going to be easy.

That the four-hour work week is acquired by working for four hours a week from the get-go.

That doing what you love is all fun in the sun while you get to work from anywhere.

Unfortunately, when you actually test that theory, it’s proven that only the opposite is true.

Whether you’re pushing pencils, or striving to increase awareness about the impact humanity is having on the world. Whether you’re a famous actor on the stages of Broadway, or sitting at the desk in another one of those gray cubicles. Whether you’re doing what you love or doing what you hate.

It all takes hard work.

Hard work and passion go hand in hand

“When you live for a strong purpose, then hard work isn’t an option. It’s a necessity.” – Steve Pavlina

When you really care about something (maybe you want to start a movement and bring change) you can’t mull around expecting someone else to take the first step. Or rather, you won’t let yourself do that.

You already know, as if instinctually, that intention backed up by action makes things happen. As Steve says, hard work is a necessary element in order for your goals to be realized.

There are no shortcuts

“There is no substitute for hard work.” – Thomas Edison

There are no lottery tickets in life that will dramatically increase your odds of success. Hard work has existed all these years for a reason. It’s the only tried and true way to successfully doing what you love.

The only shortcut to hard work is less work, which in the end leads to a higher chance of you not succeeding.

Greatness is not obtained through a slack work ethic

“Unless you are willing to drench yourself in your work beyond the capacity of the average man, you are just not cut out for positions at the top.” – J.C. Penney

Alright, we know hard work matters and that it is necessary, but how much of it are we supposed to do? The answer is however much it takes to get where we want to be.

Anybody can do hard work for a few hours. Take a look at how many people work part-time. But less can remain dedicated for a few months. Even less so can stay hard workers for years.

This is why there are so few at the top. Not because they took shortcuts or free-rode on the backs of the more dedicated. But because they understood that hard work is what rules all.

The truth behind doing what you love

The truth is that doing what you love requires you to work much longer and harder than your employed counterparts for no pay whatsoever (at least in the beginning). The paycheck you seek is not coming at the end of every bi-weekly period.

But what matters much more than the time invested, the money lost, and the sweat put in is that you are doing what makes you happy and what others can enjoy.

Is this not what life is about? The pursuit of happiness? I can hear the naysayers already, telling me that this pursuit is imaginary and the “American Dream” was lost long ago.

I beg to differ.

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Have you ever heard the phrase, “It’s not enough just to be yourself. You have to be your BEST self”?

If not, then I’m almost certain that you’re not taking this most important action everyday.

To be your best self is to put everything you have into making each and every day meaningful to you. It is to be your ideal self.

Being your best self, of course, is easier said than done. Most of us can’t live up to our ideals; they’re just locked too deep from within as the result of insecurity, peer pressure, and self-consciousness.

Others, instead, will push past this resistance to embrace freedom and the power of choice.

Do what you want to do, not what you feel you must do

I’ve lived as a servant before, only doing things others would tell me to because these things were acceptable to a number of people vastly greater than myself. During this time, I wasn’t being myself, let alone my best.

I was simply going through the motions, without direction nor a purpose. And if you’re missing either of those, consider yourself a slave to whomever decides to act on you first. I followed orders quite well, almost to a T, never trying to make myself noticeable or different.

I’m living now as myself. I strive everyday to live as my BEST self. A self that no one can merely tell what to do. A self that only I control. A self that does work which truly matters, not busy automation that a robot can do.

I enjoy going where no person has gone before. Challenging our not, if a new path is open and seems interesting enough, I have no choice but to pursue it.

As a hedonist, I survive only for pleasure. While pain may occasionally show itself in the form of failure, love lost, struggle, etc. I understand that it will one day pass. And when it does pass, it is my choice whether or not to embrace pleasure again or whether I want to remain covered in depression and pity.

Find out who you are and express it

You must determine what kind of person you are or what type of individual you wish to exist as. Once you discover that, it is imperative that you immediately portray it.

Think of yourself as an actor in an award-winning motion picture. This picture is called “Your Life”. Who do you want to be when the movie plays?

What does your character do? Is he a boring math teacher who goes strictly by the book and never strays into the realm of creativity, or is he the type of teacher that teaches the way he wants to teach, not only teaches his students but inspires his students, and is fondly remembered long after class ends?

How does your character act? Is he irrationally, overemotional, and reactive? Does he have low self-esteem and believe himself to have little self-worth?

Or is he cool, calm, and calculating? Does he radiate irrational self-confidence and exude a certainty of excellence that this world has never seen?

You alone decide who your best self can and will become.

Nevertheless, it’s not enough that you want to be somebody else or want to live like somebody else. If you don’t start acting like your ideal self, you never will be.

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“The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else was to be indifferent to that difference.” – Al Capp, great American cartoonist

At some point in our lives, we wind up speaking in front of a large crowd of people, wearing an untied shoe, or walking in the path of a lone tree branch. The opportunity just seems to present itself at the most inopportune times. One mispronunciation, one careless move, or one instance of delayed reaction time and:

STUTTER!

TRIP!

SMACK!

Like magic, the fluidity of our speech turns into choppy babble, the clip-clop of our stride turns into the stamp-stomp of a gorilla trying to regain its balance, and our simple daydream turns into a dizzying mess as we rub our bruised faces. Our confidence transforms into embarrassment.

Ouch.

Yup. I’ve been there and back, my friend. Along with the red face, frenzied eye moments, and loss for words, embarrassment is not a pretty thing to watch, let alone experience. Luckily for me, however, I’ve been in so many embarrassing situations, that I’m practically immune.

So that’s why I say this:

You can end your embarrassment once and for all.

To be blunt, not all of these tips will make you instantly embarrassment-free. Some will provide you with the quick fix you’re looking for, but others will take more practice and implementation in your daily life in order to get it just right. As with every other skill, getting rid of embarrassment requires you to put forth real, conscious effort. Now that my little forewarning is over, don’t worry about it. I’ll try and make these steps as clear and concise as possible:

1. Reflect on your embarrassing moments

Look back on your life and revisit your most embarrassing moments; the best (or worst) ones you can imagine. Remember how each moment made you feel, both before and after it happened. What were you in the process of doing before you were so rudely interrupted?

Then remember what happened the day after your embarrassing moment. Did anybody really remember it? If so, do you still feel hurt by it, or do you not care as much as you thought you did?

2. Come to terms with these moments

Another great way to beat embarrassment is to come to terms with those moments you’ve had in the past. The best way to do this is by sharing them with someone you trust. The blunders that I shared above (stuttering during a speech, tripping on my shoelace, and walking smack dab into a tree branch) are all things that have happened to me in the past. And while I do this in the form of a blog post, you can share your embarrassing stories in your own way. A story, a song, a poem, or another piece of artwork is fine, as long as you let it out.

Remember, life goes on and so should you.

3. In your moment of embarrassment, focus elsewhere

A great technique I’ve found to be useful is to simply concentrate on something else. Just this afternoon, I tripped up the stairs (how convenient for this blog post, right?). Instead of lamenting my little blunder, I gave a little chuckle, looked straight ahead, and kept going. What I focused on in that instant was where I was headed, but there are a near limitless amount of things you can place your focus on. Focusing on your breathing, or remembering a time when somebody else got embarrassed are good ones to use.

4. Embarrass yourself on purpose

This is one of the more advanced techniques I mentioned earlier. To intentionally put yourself in awkward situations requires a great amount of confidence, but is always rewarding once the moment is over. At first, it is a bit daunting (you’re being made a spectacle, I understand), but soon you’ll be well on your way to feeling absolutely confident no matter what embarrassing moment rears it head. Ready the yellow wet floor signs and untie those shoes. You haven’t got a moment to lose.

5. Ignore the moment until it passes

Put your mind at ease. Sure, everyone might be pointing and laughing. Maybe your speech got derailed for a bit. You may possibly be a bit bruised and red in the face. However, the most powerful thing you can do is to just blaze through it. As far as you know, you didn’t mess up. Did you trip and fall? That’s funny. You didn’t feel a thing.

6. Prevent the embarrassment before it happens

As the saying goes, “prevention is better than a cure”. Those words or wisdom still apply, as it is best to be prepared before a moment trips you up like walking across a wet floor with untied shoes. Watch where you’re going. Prepare for your interview. Bring money before you go to the store. Carry an extra shirt when you eat BBQ ribs and hot wings. And don’t forget to tie those laces. An embarrassment-free day is upon us now.

7. Accept yourself, embarrassing moments and all

Maybe you’re like me: just a weird person who can’t help but do potentially embarrassing things. Maybe you like screaming when you’re supposed to be quiet or adore going into a business conference cold turkey with a high probability of blowing it.

Join the club.

There’s something about someone who wants to get rid of embarrassment by trying these techniques. They must want to improve their lives and become more confident. But it’s another matter entirely when someone tries and succeeds in these tips and realizes that we are who we are.

To throw everything out of the window, and to accept yourself as unique and as something special: that is the moment when the embarrassment is truly gone.

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Challenging authority since 1978, Chris Guillebeau has made it his goal to travel to every single country on the planet by 2013. In addition to that, he’s been helping others to create online businesses, follow their passions, and achieve the unconventional.

Chris’s blog, called The Art of Non-Conformity, also has a boatload of quality content containing priceless strategies on life, work, and travel.

With a résumé like that, it comes as no surprise that Chris’s efforts to help change the world have influenced countless other bloggers to follow in his footsteps.

I am one of those individuals.

For being such a great source of inspiration, I’ve invited him to share some of his unconventional wisdom here on HiLife2B during his travels:

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John: What inspired you to start this journey? What was the big epiphany moment that drove you to create the Art of Non-Conformity?

Chris: I began thinking about non-conformity and unconventional living during the four years I spent in West Africa (2002-2006). But the epiphany moment was after that, around 2007, when I had returned to the U.S. and was thinking about the next step. I realized I had been fortunate to have done a lot of different things, from living overseas to being self-employed for ten years, but I lacked a convergence point to all of it. I started AONC to chronicle the adventure and hopefully help other people in their own unconventional quests.

John: You’ve definitely inspired mine. I’m on my own quest to create a sustainable passive income so I can live anywhere, and do anything. It seems everyone wants to attain this goal, but how would someone go about getting started, assuming they already have a job, a home, a computer, and a family to take care of?

Chris: There are two approaches to this:

1) I always ask people to think big-picture about what they care about that other people also care about. This is important because despite what you may hear, you can’t build a business strictly around yourself. It has to be an intersection or convergence between yourself and a big enough group of prospects/customers/supporters/clients to support you. Ultimately, that is the best path to starting a business oriented about someone’s passion.

2) That said, you can also just get out there and start doing things. The “throw stuff against the wall and see what sticks” strategy can work very well, especially in the beginning when you’re not sure what you want to do. Can you list something for sale on eBay or etsy today? Create a website in a day? Offer some kind of service on a blog and see who’s interested? There are all kinds of interesting business models out there just waiting to be discovered. Look at this guy who wears company t-shirts every day for a living. Look at the infamous million dollar home page. Those ideas are taken already, so what’s yours?

John: I think I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve (laugh).What do you think it takes to live the life you want? Is it really as easy as it seems?

Chris: I don’t know if it’s easy — it may be easier to go with the flow and do what other people expect you to — but I also don’t like it’s prohibitively difficult. We all make time for what’s important to us, one way or another. I think it’s better to do that intentionally, which requires tradeoffs and sacrifices, but is also very rewarding.

John: What do you think is the biggest challenge for people when traveling to new countries, or anywhere new for that matter?

Chris: The biggest challenge is fear of the unknown. When you enter a new environment, things work differently than in a familiar environment. One tip: to overcome this, it’s usually best to figure out how the new environment works than to insist on doing things the way you are used to.

John: What do you plan to do after you’ve visited all of the countries in the entire world?

Chris: As Jacques Cousteau said, “Jet lag is my favorite drug.” I travel for travel’s sake — I like the process, the planning, and just being on the road. I probably won’t go to places like Equatorial Guinea, where I’m writing these notes, but I’ll still keep going.

John: If you could give one last piece of advice to all of the individuals striving to achieve better lives and reach their dreams, what would it be?

Chris: Most people don’t begin to think about leaving a legacy until they’re close to the end of their lives, or maybe even on that deathbed. I think it’s much better to think carefully about legacy as early as possible.

I’d also encourage everyone to live with as few regrets as possible. This isn’t as difficult as it may sound. Start by thinking: if I had only one year left to live, how would I spend it? Then find a way to incorporate those ideas, dreams, and goals into your daily life.

John: Thanks for the interview, Chris! It was a pleasure to have you.

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I only promote what I whole-heartedly support, so I highly recommend checking out Chris Guillebeau’s website, The Art of Non-Conformity.

If you want a chance at reading some of his premium content and learning more about what Chris teaches, look into the Unconventional Guides (some of them are in my “Read These Books” section on the sidebar) and follow him on Twitter.

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I’m guessing a lot of you who read this blog also read other personal development blogs as well. From the minimalist teaches of Leo Babauta, to the “live anywhere, do anything” philosophy of Tim Ferriss, it’s no surprise that self help blogs are very inspiring and incredibly informative.

From these blogs, we can understand these five things:

- Their teachings constantly reinforce the fact that anything is possible if we put our minds to it

- Cashing in on your passion (in the immortal words of Gary V.) can be done

- All it takes is a little direction to fix the problems you have

- Anybody is willing to help you if you just give them a chance

- This information is free for anyone to grab

It just shows that, literally, all the information that’s being given, all the advice being solicited, and every question being answered is right there waiting for you.

Nobody’s problems are unique to themselves. Somewhere on the net, someone has the solution to what you need fixed. We no longer have to sit and complain about our distraction issues; there’s a solution around every corner.

Nonetheless, I still get the feeling that something’s off. I understand people want to hear inspirational words and calls to action because it makes them feel good; I do too.

But how many people are actually implementing the advice they’ve been given?

I like to hear about someone’s success and how he/she did it as much as the next guy, but it’s utterly pointless if just take advice that you’re never going to use.

1. Look for somebody who’s already solved your problem

2. Write down what they did to solve it

3. Test it immediately

That’s why in this post, I’m giving you the top 50 Twitter tweets from 50 personal development all-stars. Here’s the advice that you read on blogs everyday.

In no particular order, without further ado:

@stevepavlina – Successful people have a bias for action.

@jonathan mead – Reminder: whenever you attempt or approach something, it might not be as hard as you think.

@zen_habits – It turns out life’s purpose is quite simple: it’s love. Deep, profound, moving, unshakeable, upending … but simple.

@mary_jaksch – Zen tip: Next time someone talks to you, listen without thinking about what you’re going to say next.

@joshua_becker – Don’t waste today.

@rowdykittens - So far so good. No car, no TV, limited clothing, etc. But I’m far from perfect. :)

@pamslim – Stand for something.

@henrijunttila – “Action will remove the doubt that theory cannot solve.” – Petryl Hsieh

@themindfullist – What’s that one thing that, if you got it done today, would make you smile with satisfaction as you lay your head on the pillow?

@chrisguillebeau – Entrepreneur = someone who will work 24 hrs a day for themselves to avoid working 1 hr a day for someone else

@jeffreyftang – Legacy: “No man is truly great who is great only in his lifetime. The test of greatness is the page of history.” – William Hazlitt

@lance02 – You are awesome!

@StevenAitchison – “We find it difficult to change because we haven’t seen the new road we have to travel – If we see the road first – change becomes easier.”

@mrjWells – Our communication with ourselves is how we program our minds and results.

@upgradereality – Goodnight all. Remember…As you think, You will become :)

@getinthehotspot – Are you totally focused on one true goal?

@marsdorian – true. And the more passionate you are, the more you divide the crowds that judge you!

@deepakchopra – In any situation where there are many different points of view there is promise of great potential and creativity

@evbogue – “What does education often do? It makes a straight-cut ditch of a free, meandering brook.” – Thoreau

@charliegilkey – The distance between where we are & where we think we are is one of the exciting & frustrating parts of life. :)

@skooloflife – “The fruit of your action will come of its own accord” -Echkart Tolle

@corbettbarr – It always feels great to get some serious work done. Makes me wonder why I procrastinate.

@jetsetcitizen – “This is not a recession, it is a reset.” from John Hope Bryant’s book

@Armen – If you are one of those folks that keeps moving and doesn’t get stopped much by distractions, consider that a valuable asset.

@arvinddevalia – “Your own Self-realization is the greatest service you can render the world”.

@viperchill – Thought of this while getting my hair cut: Life isn’t about striving for perfection. It’s about finding happiness despite imperfection.

@aboundlessworld – Do something out of line.

@lionslinger – Do you want to increase your chances of success? Then master time.

@jonathanfields – It is not 10,000 hours, It is 10,000 hours of deliberate and focused practice that makes people great.

@sivers – “Work is love made visible.” – Khalil Gibran

@colinismyname – Yup :) I take a few hours a day to read. My ideal lifestyle!

@tmfproject – Today is a day to make moves. Oh yeah.

@carlosmic- Don’t see the world as it is, people won’t like you. And don’t even think about telling them what you see, people will hate you.

@codymckibb – Of course your opinion matters. I don’t know where you got any impression it woudn’t?

@theboldlife – Hello World. Happy Monday. Wake up and smell the day!

@livetorque – The beauty of LIFE does not depend on how happy you are, but how happy others can be because of you.

@suziecheel – “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”- Abraham Lincoln

@tferriss – “A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

@workhappynow – “People only see what they are prepared to see.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

@positivityblog – “As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” ~ Andrew Carnegie

@scotthyoung – Most passions strt as interests. So “finding yr passion” is better stated: “find an interest & then work yr ass off at it.”

@celestinechua – “Example isn’t another way to teach, it is the only way to teach” – Albert Einstein

@zeenatsyal – “You alone have the power to get over your fears, your insecurities, your addictions, your negativity…”

@mattchevy – The less you say, the more you’re judged. Funny how that works out.

@daviddcain – My habits they are a-changin’

@tinybuddha – “We may have all come in different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

@timbrownson – Multi-tasking in a physical impossibility yet so many people seem to think they can achieve it.

@dragosroua – Don’t give too much attention to what happens to you, but rather to what you can make happen.

@daniel_richard – “Excellence is a habit.”

@ratracetrap – “If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.” — Bruce Barton

Here is your advice. Take it. Use it. Test it. Do something amazing with it.

Everyone is here supporting you. All you have to do is act.
Creative Commons License photo credit: Shishberg

The only thing that will ensure you will live a sustainable lifestyle for the rest of your existence on Earth is becoming valuably indispensable.

Now, what does it mean to be valuably indispensable?

You must have value – as in, be worth something.

You must be indispensable – as in, you must be someone who is so valuable, it literally be an act of stupidity not to hire you or not to recommend you.

Two paths – one choice

In this world, there are two types of workers. The first type is the typical worker bee of an employee. He seeks to please the boss in the hopes of someday getting to be the boss. He would nearly go as far as considering jumping off of a bridge to get a gold star from the guy upstairs.

When the boss says jump, this guy asks how high.

When the boss says do this project or file that document, he does it in record time.

When the boss tells this guy to do what he thinks is best, the worker bee can only panic.

He can only muster, “Aren’t you supposed to tell me what to do?” while the boss barks back, “Figure it out! What do you think I hired you for?”

This is the plight of the worker bee.

The second type of worker is extremely rare. We’ll came him the valuable artist.

An individual of vast creativity and knowledgeable experience, this guy is, in retrospect, nothing aesthetically special. He has no denoting characteristics that make him look any different than the common worker bee. He may not be as fashionable, not as outgoing, or maybe not even as good-looking.

But you’ll know who he is once you look him in the eye while he works.

When he shifts into overdrive, this person becomes unstoppable; a force to be reckoned with. Watch the worker bee work and witness the valuable artist create. The difference is prodigious.

The worker bee will do everything diligently and efficiently, step by step, never straying even one hair from the lines. He’ll sometimes get the urge to do something his way, but you’ll never catch him taking that chance. His job, no, his life is on the line.

He tells his inner artist to wait until another day.

The valuable artist, however, will be sure to not disappoint. He asks not for guidelines, for he needs only one: to create the best work of art possible. He rises above and beyond the call of duty of any task put in front of him. He doesn’t merely produce work, but he also strives to innovate.

Each and everyday is a chance for him to do something amazing.

Of course, the valuable artist is not well-liked. A lot of people, in fact, live to despise him. You can hear the cries throughout the office walls: “Why is hasn’t he been fired yet!? That’s not what the boss wanted! Why does the boss like him so much? He’s too unorthodox!”

“Teacher’s pet.”

But he cannot hear them. The only thoughts that are taking over his mind are the thousands of ideas that he wants to try, wants to test, wants to experiment with!

This is the marvelous existence of the valuable artist.

The tipping point

But one day there will come a time where everything will change for both the worker bee and the valuable artist employees.

This day will change their lives forever.

On this day, the boss will call them both to his office. He will ask the worker bee to come in first. Happy to do anything for the boss, he will oblige. He sits down, eagerly awaiting the good news of a promotion or a massive pay raise.

The boss will give a speech detailing how valuable the worker bee has been to the company. And at the end of the seemingly never-ending conversation, the boss will say the faithful words, “I’m sorry Worker Bee. I have to let you go.”

The worker bee storms out, unable to even look his once honorable master in the eye. Without the direction of a boss, what can he hope to accomplish? He decides to think on it for some time…

After the worker bee leaves the building, the valuable artist is called in. The boss asks him to sit down. The valuable artist sits, ready for anything the boss can bring. He already knows his answer.

“Do you know why you’re here?” the boss asks.

“Yes… it is because you want to fire me”, replies the creator.

“…Actually, no. I want to keep you. You are one of the ones I need to keep this company afloat. I can’t possibly let you go.”

Our artist is unmoved. He replies, “Thank you, sir. I thank you for allowing me to stay with the company for this long. Now I know that I can do good work…. but I’m afraid I can’t allow myself to stay.”

The boss quickly becomes flustered and baffled. “Wh- What did you say? I need you here on this team.”

“You’ve given me many great opportunities, sir, but I cannot allow myself to work under you any longer. My creativity means more than the world to me. I feel that I can do so much more remarkable things… on my own”, says the artist.

A meaningful silence befalls them both. For a moment, they look each other in the eyes. For just a moment, the boss sees himself in the eyes of the valuable artist. The eyes that have hidden a desire to grow… that has just now been released.

“I…understand”, says the boss.

“Good luck, sir. And thank you.”

The valuable artist steps out into the world, his canvas, unsure if he made the right decision. But in the end, it matters not. The months ahead will not be easy, but rest assured he knows his path, his passion, his end.

He cannot fail. Or, better yet, he won’t allow it.

–inspired by Seth Godin’s interview at Brazen Careerist

Creative Commons License photo credit: prosto photos

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