Why is everyone marching in the streets, clean cut, walking steadily, briefcase or purse in hand, walking in a straight line? Why do the buildings all seem to be of the same structure and style – of a dingy grayish brown or maybe a black? Suits and ties abound, I am trapped in one line of people of many lines. I snap out of the trance I’ve found myself in. I think myself to have been trapped in a dream, and now I’m awake, my body moving on its own.

I too am marching. My hair is combed, as dark as the coffee I’m holding in my left hand, and as clean as the the briefcase in my right.  I’m in similar wear as my unofficial comrades. My body is still under the control of some suppressive force. I turn my head as we cross the streets downtown, and I look in the reflection of the windows across the buildings. I see a bewildered, confused face among several thousand forward facing bodies. I decide that enough is enough; I have to get out of here. I try to move. I can’t. Such will it takes to regain control! It feels like I’m trying to lift a bus, but all I’m really trying to do is tell my mind to jump out of line.

Suddenly, after 5 minutes of intense focus behind a sweaty brow, I move. I’m on the ground, breathing heavily. I’m unaware as to how I got here; how everyone got here. Where did we come from? Where are we going? I look up at the marching bodies, watching them remain entranced by whatever it is they are following. I find a lamppost and climb as high as I can. I try to get a glimpse at the beginning of the line. I cannot see it.

I ask myself again, “Where is this place?” Judging by the surroundings, I know that we are in the middle of some downtown metropolis. There are no street signs; somehow everyone just knows where they’re headed. I feel lost. My mind begins to resume hypnosis. I think to myself that maybe I should follow them and see where it takes me. What could be the harm in that? I run up to one of the drones and ask if he knows where he’s going. He looks at me like I’m crazy and tells me its obvious. He points ahead. I tell him that I don’t see anything but more bodies marching. He ignores me and keeps marching.

I ask a young lady where everybody is going. She tells me that’s a stupid question and says it’s obvious. I ask her why it’s obvious and she retorts that she doesn’t know, it just is. I ignore her.

I take a seat on the sidewalk and contemplate how I’m going to get home. Suddenly, I have a flashback. It’s of a time before I got here, I’m sure. I’m walking out of a building. I’m saying to myself that when I get to my next destination everything will make sense. I’m walking out of another building. I’m again saying that everything will make sense, after I finish this step.

The flashback moves to just yesterday. I’m putting on my suit and tie. I look in the mirror. The wrinkles of age are starting to form. My hair is combed, my suit is pressed. I again tell myself that I am almost there. The flashback ends.

“Almost where?” I say to myself as I’m sitting on the sidewalk. I look up at the sky, past the incessant marching and past the skyscrapers that tower above us. The cloud are shifting across a very light blue canvas. I feel myself smiling up at it. As I rise to stand, I look back the marchers and stare at their faces. They don’t notice me, not even the sky. Their faces are stoic, undeterred. They won’t even look at the sky. A tear almost comes to my eye. In an instant I’m filled with rage. With a great fury I’ve never felt before, I rip off my tie and grab my shoes off. I messy up my hair and yell at the top of my lungs. I shout at them, “What is wrong with you people?!”

They don’t answer; they just stare. Some snicker, some point, some stick their noses up. They believe myself to be below them. I almost start laughing myself. Me? Inferior to you? Without thinking, I rush into the crowd. Chaos ensues. I do not try and fight them, for I am no fool. I only wish to see what is spearheading this movement. Who is leading this progression of sheep? And where is this journey leading them to? Bodies went everywhere. Women screamed at me, thinking their chances of getting ahead were ruined. Men roared at me, thinking my stunt was done solely to disrupt the order. They grabbed at me, trying to get me to stop. I did not care, nor did I look back as I progressed forward. The truth lay onwards. That’s where I was headed.

Their cries got louder as I neared to what I thought was the front. I was knocked down several times; maybe kicked. I can’t say that I didn’t feel their blows, but I was imperturbable. I was almost there. I would go to the leader of this mob and force him to tell me why I was here. At the front stood the final line of savages, both men and women. I stood, awaiting their response. I know what they saw. A young man of a minority, hair disheveled, clothes torn, tie and briefcase missing. I may have been bruised and carried with me a few bloodstains, but nothing else mattered anymore. I told myself that I will see the truth of this world.

They saw the determination in my eyes. The suited gatekeepers knew what would come if they denied me entry. To my surprise, they stepped aside. At this, the chaos behind me grew to levels unimaginable. There was no time to question the change of heart of the gatekeepers. I leapt pass them, leaving for them the mob whose new goal was to see me suffer.

All of a sudden, there was darkness; save for one strip of light on the ground leading forward into nothingness. I walked on it for what seemed like hours. Enraged, I bolted to get to the end. Then I stopped and realized…. maybe there wasn’t an end. I stepped off of the path of light, into the darkness. I took a few steps. Through the darkness, I saw an old man holding a tattered book. My heart raced. This man wasn’t wearing a suit, but he was in rags. He turned and looked at me. Our eyes met. I gulped. He smiled. I asked him why he was doing this to everyone.

“I have done nothing”, said the old man. “You came here yourself. Remember?”

“Everyone else…we all came here…why?”

“You and everybody else…you all see the same vision. You all came for and desire the same thing. Happiness. A beautiful family. Material objects of momentary value. You may think you are different, but you’re the same as the rest.”

“That’s not true…at least not anymore. I know what I want. Happiness…a family…material possessions…they will come when they are ready, but I know that they are not the end. My success, that is the end!” I yelled.

“You still do not understand, boy”, the old man said. “There is NO end. There will never be an end. It is all merely a cycle that this book has denoted for those who accept it.”

“We…accept a cycle?”

He shrugged and slowly handed me the tattered book. I took it and held it up within the darkness. My eyes adjusted. The title was “History”.

“We are all living in history. Even now…we accept and internalize our own cycle. What happens earlier in the cycle we cannot change. Who we are born to, where we are from, what is in our past; we cannot alter that part of the cycle. But what has not yet occurred…that is what we can change. You and everyone else out there, will eventually die, but will be reborn in someone else: your offspring. It is a perpetual cycle and all individuals must exist within that cycle. Those who do not are already dead.”

“So, I’m dead since I stepped off of that path of light over there?”

“No! – sigh – Everyone out there, that mob you fought your way through, they are all on the same path. You have been on that path as well. Your entire life: primary school, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, graduate school, and now wherever you were heading before; you’ve been going in the same direction. The moment you leapt of off the path, you created a new cycle for yourself. A new path, so to speak.”, said the old man.

“I…understand now.”

“Good!”

“But, but, you! Who are you? How did I -”

“Our conversation ends here. It’s time we went our separate ways”, replied the old man.

“BUT-”, I start to say, but it’s too late. Darkness once again consumes everything: the old man, the light path, myself. But out of the corner of my eye I see a something coming out beneath my feet and starting forward. It’s a blue streak jutting out in front of me; a different path.

Deep darkness…

I open my eyes. I’m on my bed, in my family’s old apartment building. The place we used to stay at before we moved. I remembered my old friends…I still smile when I think about them.

Then I remember what just happened. I rush to the bathroom to check myself out. I look in the mirror and see a man with curly dark hair, a white t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and four-o’clock shadow on my face. I think to myself that I am on a different path.

Back in the living room, I see my laptop on the old computer table. Then I remember my passion. I sit down thinking of the possibilities. I get to work.
photo credit: the bbp