How To | HiLife2B

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July 26, 2010

16 First Steps to Creating the Life You Want From Some of the World’s Best Bloggers

Editor’s note: More bloggers have joined the fray. Over 16 amazing first steps! Get ready.

I know I’m not alone when I say that upon hearing successful people say, “Do what you love and the money will follow,” the cliche alert goes off in my head. There’s no question we’ve all thought about taking a leap of faith across the chasm of impossibility to see if those timeless words were true. Who hasn’t daydreamed of a life constantly filled to the brim with joy, where work feels like play and the sinking feeling you get right before Monday morning never comes? Unfortunately, most of us have also never tried to take that leap of faith.

Is it the crippling hesitation that corrupts our “go anywhere, do anything” mindset or is it just our feelings of self doubt that stifle us? While these are both true to a lesser extent, they are secondary to a much bigger problem; the problem of not knowing what to do first.

Most people don’t know where to start when they try create a life their own. From this lack of direction, comes doubt. And from this doubt, hesitation. As a result, our hesitation leads to inaction—this is where we get stuck.

To begin doing what we love, and making a living while we do it, we have to have a direction. There needs to be a first step in place before we can move on. This first step will be the most important one that you ever take.

Understanding that this step requires more than just my own assessment, I contacted some of the most successful bloggers in the world to share what they know. From all walks of life, regular people like you and me, they’ve gone through their own journeys in order to live lives their own.

So I asked each of them to answer one simple question:

“What is the first step you should take when trying to make a living doing what you love?”

These are their answers.

Danielle LaPorte of White Hot Truth

“Create an inspiration council. Who do you know – famous, dead, alive, near to you – that’s rocking their vocation? Pretend those liberated heroes are your personal advisory board and imagine what they’d tell you to do every step of the way. Only take their advice (albeit imaginary) when it makes you feel expanded and tenacious.”

Everett Bogue of Far Beyond the Stars

“Reduce your overhead. When you’re trying to strike out on your own, it’s easy to forget that you won’t be making as much as you did at your day job. If you keep spending like you did before you left, you’re liable to fail quicker by running out of money. If you only need $3,000 to last three months you’re a lot more likely to succeed than if you need $17,000 to last three months. Low overhead allows you take bigger risks and increase your chances of success.”

Charlie Gilkey of Productive Flourishing

“The biggest challenge with making the first step in getting paid to do what you love is finding that intersection between what you love and what people will pay you to do in the first place. If you focus too much on what you love and disregard what people will pay you to do, then you won’t be able to put food on the table. If you focus too much on what people will pay you to do, then you’ll make money but you’ll be no happier for doing it.

My recommendation is to find something you enjoy that people are already getting value from and see what you can do to make that solution, service, or product available to more people. And remember: one person’s trash is another person’s treasure.”

Tammy Strobel of Rowdy Kittens

“It comes down to believing in yourself and pushing past fear. If you believe you can do something, passion and focus will follow. I think fear gets the best of so many people. We listen to the lizard brain instead of growing and embracing new opportunities.”

Jonathan Fields of Awake at the Wheel

“First, figure out the activities, people, culture, settings and missions that make you come alive, without reference to whether they can generate money by conventional means. Then, if there’s a conventional path to monetization explore that. If not, look to find gaps in information, community, service, product, mode of delivery and more that can be exploited to create commercial opportunities in a less conventional way.”

Chris Guillebeau of the Art of Non-Conformity

“The first step is to get clear about what you can offer the world. Everyone has something to give, yes — but the trick is to figure out what your unique contribution is, and how that translates into a marketable skill. If you spend time on that at first, the next steps will be much easier.”

Leo Babauta of Zen Habits

“Assuming you’ve already figured out what you love, the first thing you should do is … do what you love. Do it for free, in your spare time, and have a blast doing it. Connect with others interested in the same thing, feed off their energy. Eventually you’ll be able to make a living doing it, but for now, just do it.”

Steven Aitchison of Change Your Thoughts

“When making the decision to do what I love I had to ask a tough question: Do I go for the money or do I go for what I really want to do in life and be proud of my work? I went for the latter and took a 30% pay cut to do something that I love doing and that’s coaching clients who have addiction issues. That work also transfers very well into the web and I love coaching clients from around the world. What better way of making a living could you ask for? Going for the money is great but if you go for the happiness instead you’ll reap the rewards in heart and also financially. I’ve found that people are attracted to others who love what they do, no matter what field you are in, so you will open up a lot more doors doing what you love and you’ll find a lot more closed doors when you go for the money.”

Dragos Roua of Brilliantly Better

“Short version: Break up with the past.

Long version: Break up with things that are holding you back. It may be your job, your current relationship, or it may be just a belief you don’t know you have it. You gotta let this go.

If you want to make a living doing what you love, it means at the current moment you’re not doing what you love. So, you gotta break up first with what you’re doing now. Make room for what you love.

It’s much easier than you think, once you summon the courage to actually lose something in the process: namely, the old you. It’s in the human nature to associate lost of something with regrets (by the way, I try to break up with human nature in this regard, regrets are a waste of time for me). But even if you will regret some things at the beginning, things will eventually unfold in the right direction.

And the new you will be much more fun.”

Scott H. Young of Scott H Young.com

“My first step: Get out there and do something. Look for a first client, create a first product, put your skills into the market. Too many people waste years of life guessing what the world needs instead of having the humility to ask.”

Colin Wright of Exile Lifestyle

“The first step is figuring out WHAT you love. It’s amazing how many people pursue the dream they’re handed by society, when in reality that dream isn’t a good fit for them personally. Identify what you love, figure out what the first step is to get there, and take it. Right now.”

Glen Allsopp of ViperChill

“Sign a contract with yourself that states you will not stop going until you’ve achieved some level of success. Also agree that you won’t chop and change between projects until you’ve achieved something with the first. I lost years because I was always testing things others told me worked rather than sticking to one thing and finding out for myself.”

Shrinivas Rao of Skool of Life, BlogcastFM

“Find what you absolutely love to do. It has to be the thing that gets you up in the morning and looking forward to every single day. For me, that’s riding waves. Build the business around that.”

Luciano Passuello of Litemind

“Provided that you already know which passion to pursue (not a trivial thing), a good first step is to get in touch with people who already “made it” — those that are already living the reality you want for yourself. If they’re really passionate about they do, they’ll not only be glad to help, but will also show you reality as it is (with the *real* challenges and rewards, not what our brains usually fantasize about it).”

Pat Flynn of Smart Passive Income

“The first step is to create goals for yourself. Not just one ultimate goal, but smaller, tangible goals that will help you reach that final goal of doing what you love to do. Don’t be afraid of deadlines, dates and numbers to help you take action and get to where you want to go.”

Tim Brownson of A Daring Adventure

“The most important first step in my opinion comes just before that. It is to truly know at your deepest level that it is what you love to do and not what other people such as you parents love you to do or what you think you should love to do. If you had $10m in the bank and no need of money whatsoever, would you still do whatever it is every day? If not, then how much do you really love it?”

Celestine Chua of the Personal Excellence Blog

“I’d make sure money is not an issue first, then pursue what I love. When pursuing your passion, there will undoubtedly be an initial phase where you’re picking skills, figuring things out, and that’s when money will be slow. If you have money concerns hanging at the back of your mind, that will affect your dedication to your work, which is not what you want.

When I quit my job in Sep ’08, I was financially good to last for another year. Hence, I didn’t need to worry about money at all (in the beginning) and could get down to dedicating myself fully to my work, without having to worry about whether it’d generate money. In the end, it turned out that I started generating income in the 4th month, and from there it evolved into a sustainable full-time career. I’ve never look back since. Today it’s been almost 2 years, and I’m earning more than my pay back in my corporate job.”

Corbett Barr of Free Pursuits, Think Traffic

“The first step I would take would be to get away. Get away from your job, your town, your friends and anything else that influences how you think about the world. Get away and really listen to yourself. Contemplate if what you “love to do” is really where your passion lies, and if it is really something you want to earn a living from. By unplugging from your normal life for a day or a week or even months (that’s what I did), you’ll be able to listen to yourself in ways that your “normal life” stifles.”

Matt Cheuvront of Life Without Pants

“The first thing I always tell ‘wannabe’ entrepreneurs is that you MUST first figure out what you NEED – not what you want, but what you need. We inherently tell ourselves that we need more than we actually need – needs and wants get intertwined, and when they do, it can seem overwhelming and impossible to survive on your own. But, when you figure out what you need, you’ll most likely come to find you CAN survive and get by with a lot less than you believed. Figure out what you need, then go get what you want.”

Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist

“Discover your strengths and play into them. Do you love to write, speak, create, teach, plan, network, invent, problem-solve, build, or think? Find your greatest strength and build your lifestyle around it.”

Derek Sivers of Sivers.org

“Much of success is luck. What the public loves will usually be a
surprise. So do many things, giving each one 100%, but if the public
just isn’t excited about it, walk away and do something completely
different. Knowing this in advance, your first step should be to just
do anything useful to others, realizing it’s just the first of your
many endeavors and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.”

Erin Dolland of Unclutterer

In my opinion, there are only two kinds of jobs that you can love:
1. A career that you are devoted to with a deep passion, surrounded by great colleagues who support and believe in a similar vision, and that is an integral part and reflection of who you are, and
2. A job that has regular hours, no demands on your time beyond your scheduled work day, generates enough income for a comfortable lifestyle, great colleagues, and a positive corporate culture.
To get both, the first step you need to take is to clear the distractions that get in the way of making it happen. There are no shortcuts — put in the time and energy to get rid of the clutter. Once the clutter is gone, you can focus all of your attention on making your dream job a reality.

Jonathan Mead of Illuminated Mind

“The first step is knowing what you want. The second is then doing shit. Or taking lots and lots of action. Don’t wait to implement until you have the perfect plan, don’t wait for the right resources to show up, or the right timing, or situation. Act now, and then keep acting. Make your business plan “Do Stuff” and that’s it. It will get you much farther than most.”

These are their first steps. Have the courage to take them.

What steps have you taken to live the life you want? Share your thoughts below.
photo credit: notsogoodphotography

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July 22, 2010

A Test of Controlling Your Emotions

Awhile back I wrote about how to stop being reactive. For this blog post, I’d like to expand on that idea a little bit more.

Emotions are extremely difficult to control. The reason for this is that they’ve been driving our actions since we were born. If we felt like having ice cream, we’d ask for it, or if we were in the mood for a new shirt, we’d go buy it.

If I didn’t feel like writing today, I probably wouldn’t have written this blog post. This alone is more than enough proof.

The way I see it, most of us are slaves to our emotions. Now that’s not a bad thing. By all means, if it feels good to give way to your feelings, feel free to do so. As you can tell, we’ve been doing that for a while.

Unfortunately, we’ve been so accustomed to letting our emotions run free that we forget to place restrictions on them. For instance, sometimes people will intentionally bait you into getting angry just so they can see you lose control. This is similar in the way that we incite others to laughter by doing something comical or telling a funny joke.

Either way, this ends up making us do things we never intended, saying hurtful things we don’t mean or getting riled up over issues that don’t really matter. When that happens, it’s really just an effect of acting on our emotions with abandon for so long.

It is for this reason that a very small number of people can effectively control their emotions. Public speakers and lawyers are just some of those that have to be able to master this technique — the high-stress situations they work under call for it. For regular people like us, however, we don’t have on-the-job training to force us to command our feelings so easily.

But that’s why you have me.

See every opportunity for an outburst as a test

Over time, I’ve come to realize that we have a choice in the way we go about our actions. That’s why these days I view opportunities to lose my temper as tests. When someone tries to bait me into getting a certain response, I just imagine a mental scorecard in my head presenting me with two options, yes or no.

Yes as in “Yes, I’ll lose my temper this time”, or no as in “Not going to overreact this time”.

This is just what I do, but the main thing I want you to take away from this is that we always have a choice in whether to unleash fury on someone else or keep ourselves in check. It just takes practice to be able to do this every situation — no matter how emotionally taxing.

Think happy thoughts (seriously it works)

Though our feelings do have considerable power over us, it’s not impossible to suppress them. Some people may choose to say comforting phrases over and over or some might resort to purchasing a cheap stress ball, but what I find works for me is just thinking happy thoughts.

Are you in a heated argument? Practice the power of conjuring up amusing memories and kiss your temper good-bye. Taking yourself out of a stressful situation and into a calming one does wonders for ones self-control.

Now this technique is also very tricky (like I’ve said, it’s not easy). I recommend just stopping yourself for a minute and looking at the situation from an impartial point of view. Then all that’s left to do is think about how funny it’ll be when you’re 3 days into the future. You’ll have lost interest by then. Funny, right?

Well, when you’re in the moment it won’t always be. Sometimes you’ll just be seething with anger, ready to throw a punch if anyone gets even an inch within pushing your buttons. And yes, it happens. People will push your buttons and expect you to react accordingly.

But that’s the beauty of being human. We don’t have to react the same way to the same situations. Upon repeated exposure, we automatically build up resistance. Once we get used to these situations (in which people keep pushing the same buttons) we end up not caring.

I still recommend mastering the art of self-control. It’s a skill not many can learn — it’s easy to get used to things, but it’s much harder to change yourself.
photo credit: Victor Bezrukov

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July 19, 2010

Be More Than the Average Person

The ones who do more than the average get extremely good results.

The man who works hard every single day gets the most compensation for his efforts, while the guy who works strictly on weekdays receives his standard pay.

The girl who dances without limits, who tries her very hardest, and instills passion in every twirl, jump, and hip movement will become a master of the dancing arts yet, while the competition practices at set times throughout the week, never straying from their schedules.

In our society, there are only people who do the standard affair and people who do much more than is necessary.

Generally, people aren’t comfortable being or doing more than they are. They will do as much as they can to keep from looking awkward, or weird, or self conscious. In the process, they end up looking like all of these things anyway.

Very few people are bold enough to be themselves. Those who are will do as they please, whistle as they walk, and throw paint on the bland and the dull to make it into art just because they feel like it.

As a result, these people are looked down upon. And it’s right that they should be, correct? I mean, how can they act so out of the ordinary and expect to be treated like everyone else?

And that’s just it. They don’t.

To be treated like everyone else is to be treated like jut another person. Just another worker bee. Another cog in society going where everybody else goes. This is why the bold decide to be different.

Because when at first they are ostracized, in time someone will say:

“Whatever you’re doing… that’s neat!”

And then another one will say that and then another. And another. And then, like magic, a movement is born and the one who is bold becomes the leader put in the front of it.

Why do you think the ones going against the norms are singled out? Why do you think they have an easier (or should I say, more fun) time getting to where they want to be?

Why do you think the ones who are different get extremely good results?

Because it makes them indispensable.

The world has enough people running around who are exact clones of one another. Those who have the guts to stand out and be different already realize this. And, inherently, the rest of us know it as well.

No one is born restricted

As children we are free to deem the world our oyster. But over time, we are given rules (through parental guidance or school training) that force us to obey. We are given orders to sit still and pay attention. Be quiet and draw within the lines.

Use the right colors for the right picture.

So as these rules are applied to the actions we do and to the way we live our lives everyday. Eventually it becomes a habit. And in the end, it becomes who we are.

But the few that break through this programming are the “glitches”. The individuals with a spirit that standardizing rules and behavior-management laws can’t control. These people are more than the average person.

How to be more

You too can be more than the average person. You don’t have to be another worker destined for corporate ladder climbership. You can create your own separate identity… an identity far more valuable than you ever imagined.

This is what you have to do.

1. Encourage breaks in perspective

Your perspective is your reality. When you see something happen that you never thought was ever possible, this is called a break in perspective. Find as many of these as you can. If you think you can’t do something because it seems way too out of the ordinary, assume you’re probably wrong. I would’ve never guessed that a mere child (Justin Bieber) would be the focus of the most popular video on a social networking site — and he’s not even that great of a singer. But what makes him stand out is that he’s different: he’s a child with a half-way decent voice discovered by Usher.

Look for the weird feats, believe in bold accomplishments, and aspire one in a million chances. You just might be able to pull one off.

2. Read the biographies of the indispensable

Do you think that you’re the only one pushing to be unique in a world of conformity? Countless others just like you are struggling to make the world their own. And through these struggles come amazing feats — the impact of which you should be taking advantage of.

With the “safety” of a consistent paycheck calling to you, it can be difficult to choose a path less beaten and control your own life. Fortunately, there are individuals who have already attained what you seek – a life that’s better than average – and you can use their accomplishments to fuel your desire.

3. Act with your own incentives

Average people have the typical incentives – marry so they can have kids, have kids because it seems like the next step, get a job so they can make money. Incentives that are taken up for little personal reason aren’t worth shooting for. Aim for incentives that are all your own and greatly improve your enjoyment of life.

Do you think the artist paints because art sells? No, he paints because he loves to do it. The extraordinary dancer dances because it’s her passion. From embracing what you enjoy, you gain personal fulfillment and acceptance.

So don’t be one who goes with the flow. Get a job that you love. Live a life that you’ll love. Take on challenges that inspire you to have them bested.

Act with your own incentive.

4. Infuse quality with time

There is no such thing as “closing time” on a mind motivated above the average. Even more so, there is also no such thing as working 9 -5 or any sort of set time line. If the work you get enjoyment from requires you to do a project that will take most of the day to complete, you wouldn’t complain. Because it’s your work.

You can never work too much or toil too little, as long as every minute is dedicated to quality. Long ago, time was perceived to be valuable. Farmers took great care in making the most delicious crops around. Owners took great pains to see their customers smile.

Now, we are in a time where quality is sacrificed for the sake of speed and efficiency. Just getting a product out matters more than creating quality. The average person values time over quality. The above average person values both.

The average person wastes time doing needless tasks. The above average person invests time in quality, understanding that value takes time to make.

You don’t have to be average

This took me a while to realize, being swamped underneath the delusion of “saving time” and “making deadlines”. While these things are vital tools in motivating you to do great work, never sacrifice yourself or your uniqueness just to get by and get things done. Chances are you’ve been “just getting by” your entire life. Doing just enough to pass on to the next stage.

Forget the next stage and forget about passing on. I used to always tell myself, “I can’t wait until this tedious period in my life is over, then I can do what I want”. Foolish words I know them now to be. If you can’t control your life now, then you’ll never be able to. This is something the average person already knows, but refuses to accept.

Until the day they die, they will live under the heel of someone else’s paycheck, most likely that of their boss. And when their social security checks come in, whether they’re currently working or not at the ripe, old, go-crazy-with-your-money age of 65, then they will know:

To live as average is to live a life controlled by others. You have to be more to be free.

photo credit: Llima

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June 21, 2010

7 Steps to Getting Rid of Embarrassment Once and For All

“The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else was to be indifferent to that difference.” – Al Capp, great American cartoonist

At some point in our lives, we wind up speaking in front of a large crowd of people, wearing an untied shoe, or walking in the path of a lone tree branch. The opportunity just seems to present itself at the most inopportune times. One mispronunciation, one careless move, or one instance of delayed reaction time and:

STUTTER!

TRIP!

SMACK!

Like magic, the fluidity of our speech turns into choppy babble, the clip-clop of our stride turns into the stamp-stomp of a gorilla trying to regain its balance, and our simple daydream turns into a dizzying mess as we rub our bruised faces. Our confidence transforms into embarrassment.

Ouch.

Yup. I’ve been there and back, my friend. Along with the red face, frenzied eye moments, and loss for words, embarrassment is not a pretty thing to watch, let alone experience. Luckily for me, however, I’ve been in so many embarrassing situations, that I’m practically immune.

So that’s why I say this:

You can end your embarrassment once and for all.

To be blunt, not all of these tips will make you instantly embarrassment-free. Some will provide you with the quick fix you’re looking for, but others will take more practice and implementation in your daily life in order to get it just right. As with every other skill, getting rid of embarrassment requires you to put forth real, conscious effort. Now that my little forewarning is over, don’t worry about it. I’ll try and make these steps as clear and concise as possible:

1. Reflect on your embarrassing moments

Look back on your life and revisit your most embarrassing moments; the best (or worst) ones you can imagine. Remember how each moment made you feel, both before and after it happened. What were you in the process of doing before you were so rudely interrupted?

Then remember what happened the day after your embarrassing moment. Did anybody really remember it? If so, do you still feel hurt by it, or do you not care as much as you thought you did?

2. Come to terms with these moments

Another great way to beat embarrassment is to come to terms with those moments you’ve had in the past. The best way to do this is by sharing them with someone you trust. The blunders that I shared above (stuttering during a speech, tripping on my shoelace, and walking smack dab into a tree branch) are all things that have happened to me in the past. And while I do this in the form of a blog post, you can share your embarrassing stories in your own way. A story, a song, a poem, or another piece of artwork is fine, as long as you let it out.

Remember, life goes on and so should you.

3. In your moment of embarrassment, focus elsewhere

A great technique I’ve found to be useful is to simply concentrate on something else. Just this afternoon, I tripped up the stairs (how convenient for this blog post, right?). Instead of lamenting my little blunder, I gave a little chuckle, looked straight ahead, and kept going. What I focused on in that instant was where I was headed, but there are a near limitless amount of things you can place your focus on. Focusing on your breathing, or remembering a time when somebody else got embarrassed are good ones to use.

4. Embarrass yourself on purpose

This is one of the more advanced techniques I mentioned earlier. To intentionally put yourself in awkward situations requires a great amount of confidence, but is always rewarding once the moment is over. At first, it is a bit daunting (you’re being made a spectacle, I understand), but soon you’ll be well on your way to feeling absolutely confident no matter what embarrassing moment rears it head. Ready the yellow wet floor signs and untie those shoes. You haven’t got a moment to lose.

5. Ignore the moment until it passes

Put your mind at ease. Sure, everyone might be pointing and laughing. Maybe your speech got derailed for a bit. You may possibly be a bit bruised and red in the face. However, the most powerful thing you can do is to just blaze through it. As far as you know, you didn’t mess up. Did you trip and fall? That’s funny. You didn’t feel a thing.

6. Prevent the embarrassment before it happens

As the saying goes, “prevention is better than a cure”. Those words or wisdom still apply, as it is best to be prepared before a moment trips you up like walking across a wet floor with untied shoes. Watch where you’re going. Prepare for your interview. Bring money before you go to the store. Carry an extra shirt when you eat BBQ ribs and hot wings. And don’t forget to tie those laces. An embarrassment-free day is upon us now.

7. Accept yourself, embarrassing moments and all

Maybe you’re like me: just a weird person who can’t help but do potentially embarrassing things. Maybe you like screaming when you’re supposed to be quiet or adore going into a business conference cold turkey with a high probability of blowing it.

Join the club.

There’s something about someone who wants to get rid of embarrassment by trying these techniques. They must want to improve their lives and become more confident. But it’s another matter entirely when someone tries and succeeds in these tips and realizes that we are who we are.

To throw everything out of the window, and to accept yourself as unique and as something special: that is the moment when the embarrassment is truly gone.

photo credit: quinn.anya

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May 24, 2010

75 Life-Changing Truths Written While Lying on the Grass

Wrote most of these Saturday evening while (as the title already tells you) lying on the grass outside. They were compiled to get myself out of boredom and now I feel inspired again.

Enjoy!

1. Whenever you focus heavily on an outcome, you rarely ever get it

2. Ultimately, nobody really does care about you more than yourself

3. People love children more than adults because they’re so unpredictable (in other words, act like an adult, but live as a child)

4. It’s very hard for people to follow others’ advice, even more so their own

5. A mountain’s worth of effort will get you anything you want

6. Laying on the grass isn’t as bad as I thought it would be – it’s actually quite freeing

7. What people may think of you matters nothing compared to what you think of yourself

8. The stuff that people try to distract you with (their words, their praise, their criticism) – that is noise. Filter that out and find the true meaning within

9. Complaining alters nothing (or at the very most, alters very little). For maximum impact, physically do something about it

10. I’ve found that people don’t like hearing the truth. That’s why I have this blog. This way I won’t have to argue, plead, or shout to be heard. All I have to do is type

11. Television, movies, books, even blogs – they serve as an escape from reality. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take lessons from them to change your own reality

12. I’m almost certain that I would be happier as an animal than as a human. At least I’d actually live everyday as if it was my last

13. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sex. Just be smart enough to know when and how to do it

14. Sometimes, you just need a break from your normal social circle. I’m lying in the grass instead of going to the movies. What are you doing?

15. If I can make $200 doing what I love (writing on this blog) then so can you doing what you love. Just prepare to work your ass off

16. You really don’t need as much as you think you do

17. Minimalism does not mean to be happy having absolutely nothing. It means being content with having manageable amounts of stuff

18. Placating others for them to like you is low-class behavior

19. I could’ve chosen to be miserable and bored, but instead I’ve decided to make myself happy and write. Are you listening? You can change how you feel in an instant

20. Don’t seek a reaction from other people. Do what you want because YOU want to

21. How can you [blank] another if you can’t even [same word] yourself? Nearly any verb will do

22. Appreciate all music. It is created from the raw emotion of a composer

23. School is only fun from grades Pre-K through 2nd grade. From then on, you have to start breaking the rules to keep from being bored

24. Learning isn’t really that much fun. It’s just interesting. Applying knowledge > witnessing someone else apply knowledge > reading/learning about it

25. The greatest pleasures in life are requited love and doing what you love

26. I used to get scabs all the time. They were the battle scars gained as children waging the war on boredom through play

27. Stories matter

28. Focus on the ‘why’ rather than on the ‘what’. Life instantly becomes more meaningful

29. Don’t let inspiration go to waste. Act on it, just as I’m doing right now

30. College focuses too much on memorization and grades than on what you actually learn to internalize

31. The teachers who have inspired me are the ones who I remember the most

32. Accept the fact that you can’t be the best at everything

33. Science rules the world. Even emotion (although metaphysical) is based in science

34. All emotions are contagious – enthusiasm, depression, anger, you name it

35. White lies are better than regular lies; at least you’re acknowledging the truth rather than completely disregarding it

36. Ignorance is truly bliss. Didn’t even know what racism was until I learned about it in school

37. Farting in public will always be hilarious, no matter how old I get

38. Sometimes it’s better to be a jerk than to be a nice guy

39. The happiest people are the ones who get paid for doing what they love instead of what they like or what they don’t really care much for

40. Everyone is judgmental. Deal with it. You cannot deny human nature

41. Cool, calm, and collected; that’s how you carry on business

42. Certain people will always try and find a way to show your success in a negative light

43. Where are your balls? The opportunities are right in front of you. Take them

44. Why do people keep on living when death would be so much easier? Because life is fleeting and death is forever

45. Doubt really sucks. It serves no purpose other than to keep you from trying something new (okay, and maybe keeping you from getting yourself killed, but still)

46. Public speaking is only scary when you don’t know what you’re talking about

47. Having superpowers wouldn’t make life that much easier. You’d just have a lot more crap to deal with

48. With great power comes a lot of people asking you for help

49. Men and women are actually not that hard to figure out, as opposed to popular belief

50. No lock is impenetrable. You just need to find the right key (never said it would be easy to find though)

51. If religion just feels like an extra set of rules to follow, don’t practice it

52. In fact, if a certain action is more trouble than it’s worth, cease and desist

53. You can’t choose who or what you’re attracted to. It’s a DNA thing

54. Being a skeptic of a traditionally-held idea is positively exhilarating

55. Push your creativity to the breaking point. Your best ideas will be just beyond it

56. Your reaction to a situation is more important than the situation itself

57. To be able to change your life, you have to be bold

58. The world does not reward those who expect things or feel entitled to outcomes

59. There is no point in fearing the things that cannot possibly kill you

60. Nobody knows what you’re thinking until you tell them (or show them)

61. People try new things (good and bad) because they’re bored

62. Your thoughts come through in your body language; if you’re confident, you stand tall or lean back. If you’ve got low self-esteem you slouch and flinch easily

63. It’s not worth it traveling to other countries if you’re just going to sight see. Actually, “live” inside another country

64. Hesitation, fear, and excuse-making are the things that keep the “right time” from happening

65. Without respect, no relationship can prevail

66. Boredom is death within life

67. Everything starts in the enigmatic properties of your mind. Your perception is everything

68. You cannot be completely neutral in this world. Pick a side on your own before peer pressure forces you to

69. Express yourself any way you can: laughing, living, writing, loving, drawing, blogging, singing, working, cooking, building… the list goes on and on

70. People will remember you for what you did more than what you said

71. There’s a reason everyone harps on aging; youth is the only span of time when your stamina, body, and mind are at their highest performance

72. Your problems are not unique. Somebody on this planet is sharing the same pain you are

73. On the flip side, with regards to #72, you could also say the same for accomplishments and joy

74. You think you are any different from the people that inspire others? You too have the ability to inspire

75. Everyone has gifts. It’s up to them to find the value in their own abilities, to find the light underneath their dark, to find the blessing within their curse

photo credit: Gibson Claire McGuire Regester

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May 16, 2010

Top 50 Tweets From 50 Personal Development All-Stars

I’m guessing a lot of you who read this blog also read other personal development blogs as well. From the minimalist teaches of Leo Babauta, to the “live anywhere, do anything” philosophy of Tim Ferriss, it’s no surprise that self help blogs are very inspiring and incredibly informative.

From these blogs, we can understand these five things:

- Their teachings constantly reinforce the fact that anything is possible if we put our minds to it

- Cashing in on your passion (in the immortal words of Gary V.) can be done

- All it takes is a little direction to fix the problems you have

- Anybody is willing to help you if you just give them a chance

- This information is free for anyone to grab

It just shows that, literally, all the information that’s being given, all the advice being solicited, and every question being answered is right there waiting for you.

Nobody’s problems are unique to themselves. Somewhere on the net, someone has the solution to what you need fixed. We no longer have to sit and complain about our distraction issues; there’s a solution around every corner.

Nonetheless, I still get the feeling that something’s off. I understand people want to hear inspirational words and calls to action because it makes them feel good; I do too.

But how many people are actually implementing the advice they’ve been given?

I like to hear about someone’s success and how he/she did it as much as the next guy, but it’s utterly pointless if just take advice that you’re never going to use.

1. Look for somebody who’s already solved your problem

2. Write down what they did to solve it

3. Test it immediately

That’s why in this post, I’m giving you the top 50 Twitter tweets from 50 personal development all-stars. Here’s the advice that you read on blogs everyday.

In no particular order, without further ado:

@stevepavlina – Successful people have a bias for action.

@jonathan mead – Reminder: whenever you attempt or approach something, it might not be as hard as you think.

@zen_habits – It turns out life’s purpose is quite simple: it’s love. Deep, profound, moving, unshakeable, upending … but simple.

@mary_jaksch – Zen tip: Next time someone talks to you, listen without thinking about what you’re going to say next.

@joshua_becker – Don’t waste today.

@rowdykittens - So far so good. No car, no TV, limited clothing, etc. But I’m far from perfect.

@pamslim – Stand for something.

@henrijunttila – “Action will remove the doubt that theory cannot solve.” – Petryl Hsieh

@themindfullist – What’s that one thing that, if you got it done today, would make you smile with satisfaction as you lay your head on the pillow?

@chrisguillebeau – Entrepreneur = someone who will work 24 hrs a day for themselves to avoid working 1 hr a day for someone else

@jeffreyftang – Legacy: “No man is truly great who is great only in his lifetime. The test of greatness is the page of history.” – William Hazlitt

@lance02 – You are awesome!

@StevenAitchison – “We find it difficult to change because we haven’t seen the new road we have to travel – If we see the road first – change becomes easier.”

@mrjWells – Our communication with ourselves is how we program our minds and results.

@upgradereality – Goodnight all. Remember…As you think, You will become

@getinthehotspot – Are you totally focused on one true goal?

@marsdorian – true. And the more passionate you are, the more you divide the crowds that judge you!

@deepakchopra – In any situation where there are many different points of view there is promise of great potential and creativity

@evbogue – “What does education often do? It makes a straight-cut ditch of a free, meandering brook.” – Thoreau

@charliegilkey – The distance between where we are & where we think we are is one of the exciting & frustrating parts of life.

@skooloflife – “The fruit of your action will come of its own accord” -Echkart Tolle

@corbettbarr – It always feels great to get some serious work done. Makes me wonder why I procrastinate.

@jetsetcitizen – “This is not a recession, it is a reset.” from John Hope Bryant’s book

@Armen – If you are one of those folks that keeps moving and doesn’t get stopped much by distractions, consider that a valuable asset.

@arvinddevalia – “Your own Self-realization is the greatest service you can render the world”.

@viperchill – Thought of this while getting my hair cut: Life isn’t about striving for perfection. It’s about finding happiness despite imperfection.

@aboundlessworld – Do something out of line.

@lionslinger – Do you want to increase your chances of success? Then master time.

@jonathanfields – It is not 10,000 hours, It is 10,000 hours of deliberate and focused practice that makes people great.

@sivers – “Work is love made visible.” – Khalil Gibran

@colinismyname – Yup I take a few hours a day to read. My ideal lifestyle!

@tmfproject – Today is a day to make moves. Oh yeah.

@carlosmic- Don’t see the world as it is, people won’t like you. And don’t even think about telling them what you see, people will hate you.

@codymckibb – Of course your opinion matters. I don’t know where you got any impression it woudn’t?

@theboldlife – Hello World. Happy Monday. Wake up and smell the day!

@livetorque – The beauty of LIFE does not depend on how happy you are, but how happy others can be because of you.

@suziecheel – “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”- Abraham Lincoln

@tferriss – “A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

@workhappynow – “People only see what they are prepared to see.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

@positivityblog – “As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” ~ Andrew Carnegie

@scotthyoung – Most passions strt as interests. So “finding yr passion” is better stated: “find an interest & then work yr ass off at it.”

@celestinechua – “Example isn’t another way to teach, it is the only way to teach” – Albert Einstein

@zeenatsyal – “You alone have the power to get over your fears, your insecurities, your addictions, your negativity…”

@mattchevy – The less you say, the more you’re judged. Funny how that works out.

@daviddcain – My habits they are a-changin’

@tinybuddha – “We may have all come in different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

@timbrownson – Multi-tasking in a physical impossibility yet so many people seem to think they can achieve it.

@dragosroua – Don’t give too much attention to what happens to you, but rather to what you can make happen.

@daniel_richard – “Excellence is a habit.”

@ratracetrap – “If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.” — Bruce Barton

Here is your advice. Take it. Use it. Test it. Do something amazing with it.

Everyone is here supporting you. All you have to do is act.
photo credit: Shishberg

10 comments

May 9, 2010

How to Take Back Your Summer: Test Your Assumptions

Summer for most college students tends to consist of these four things:

- Traveling to another country

- Taking part in a more-than-likely unpaid internship

- Getting a job (like my roommates are doing)

- Or simply taking it easy at home

I could just as easily do any one of these. But, as per usual, I’m choosing a more interesting route.

Instead of staying at home, writing irregular blog posts, and working for my parents for the next three months like I’ve done every summer, I’m going to strike out on my own. I’ll be away from the lazy day doldrums of the suburbs and will remain in the thick of Chicago.

I’ll still be writing posts, but I’ll also be testing my assumptions:

Can I make money from the blog?

Can I get over 1,000 subscribers before summer’s end?

Can I have interviews with some of the best entrepreneurs on the net?

Can I guest post on Zen Habits?

The time of playing video games and watching TV during the majority of my vacation is long over. Those were the days of my younger years — now is the time to do something amazing.

Summer vacation will be a great time to experiment. A time to go on new adventures and walk down new paths. But what about you? I understand that you may or may not be in college anymore and vacations for you aren’t usually three months long because of your job, but isn’t it about time you just went out and did something about it?

Go on a vacation

I can guess your objections to this already. Maybe they’re pre-laid out excuses like mortgages/bills to pay, kids to take care of, and a job to get paid for.

Dump these as reasons for not living your life during the best season of the year. In reality, there are simple solutions to all of these problems.

You don’t have to travel to an exotic land in another country over the summer. Maybe it’s better to just get out of town and live somewhere new for a while.

Your kids aren’t going starve if you decide to take a break from working. Take them with you.

But really, it seems that the real issue with going on vacations is whether our not you’ll have enough money for it. Don’t worry, I’ve got that avenue covered.

Start preparing by considering these steps:

1. Sell things you don’t want/need

Summer is a great time to clear out all the stuff that you don’t use anymore, but instead of throwing it away, try selling it instead. Have a good, old-fashioned garage sale and watch the money roll in for stuff that you though nobody would even consider paying for.

This year, I’ve sold most of my old college textbooks and even my Ipod Touch that hasn’t been used for over a year.

2. Negotiate summer employment

Tell your boss (or plead with your boss, depending on his/her generosity) that you’d like to take a few hours off from working at the office. You may not be able to be completely free from your job if you really need it, but try and negotiate some sort of deal so you can still have money coming in and have time for other things you enjoy.

More information on how to do this here and here.

Thanks to money I’ve saved up from working for my parents, I will not have to worry much about employment…for now.

3. Start saving money

It’s easier to save up enough money to go on a three-month break than you think. All it takes is for you to consume much less than you normally would and keep an eye out for the best deals so you don’t have to spend so much.

Stop buying in bulk and only buy the amount you need.

Buy sweaters during the summer so you don’t have to pay more for warm clothes during the fall and winter.

See? Simple frugality.

4. Teach yourself something valuable

There are a lot of skill you can learn during your break that can prove to be very valuable. I myself plan on playing around with Photoshop, CSS, and HTML code so I potentially won’t ever have to pay for expensive web design.

Some suggestions:

- learn web design (like me)

- have conversations with random people to improve your social skills

- speak a new language

- practice writing stories to improve your writing

A lot of changes are already underway

After you finish taking these steps into consideration, just get up and go. Stop thinking about the consequences and just do it. This is the mindset I’m taking this summer. Nobody has asked me to do this. No own gave me an incentive to cultivate this lifestyle.

But I do it because I know it’ll make me happier in the end.

It’s the same with you. You can either continue on with the same summer you’ve had year after year, or you can start preparing right now and use your vacation doing something you’ve never dreamed of.

Just try it. The sun will be shining with not a cloud in the sky. What better day is there on which to take a chance?

photo credit: seanmcgrath

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May 3, 2010

How to Reclaim Your Childlike Confidence

The times of our childhood have gone and left us. From the moment we were born up until the prime of our youth, we lived freely and innocently, without apology or responsibility. And with this freedom and innocence came the empowerment of confidence. The assurance that whatever we wanted in our lives we would get. The acceptance that to get anything we must take action for it. The knowledge that fate lay within our very hands.

This confidence resided within us for a while. Although there were times as children when we would be initially shy and scared of the change that would come with the confidence in trying different things and exploring new ‘worlds’ (such as the zoo, the playground, and the grocery store, to name a few), we would eventually rest upon the peak of our happiness.

The happiness that came with confidence is what made youth worth embracing and is what makes it so valuable.

You won’t catch an old foogie trying to do a handstand because he’s almost certain his back will feel out of sorts if things go wrong. But if you even hint at any type of challenge to rambunctious child, no doubt she’ll have at it.

Stop suppressing your confidence

Now, I know I’ve been playing up the youth angle a bit, but I’m here to say that youth really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does, at least in terms of confidence. What does matter is how you choose to live your life.

As a child, you had no worries. Life was lived to the fullest each and everyday. But as you got older, you began to rationalize your confidence. Instead of feeling happiness and awe from staring at an anthill and watching the mysteries of life unfold, you decided to forget those small pleasures.

Societal norms told you your confidence was unacceptable, that you had no right to feel confident until you get that respectable job and six-figure salary. You allowed them to judge your self-worth based on the materials you own and how well you followed orders in the educational institutions. This created insecurity within yourself and instability in your life.

Fast forward to now, where you still feel inadequate because society keeps asking more of you. You must buy more stuff. You’re how old and still have no kids? Start making some! You have no money for them? Go get some!

Don’t listen to this noise.

When you were a child, you had almost nothing to your name. You were only fed, clothed, and cared for.

Maybe even given a toy, here or there.

If this is the code by which you felt the most carefree and happy, don’t you think you should be trying to continue living by that same code?

Understand that the happiest children didn’t have mountains of new gadgets to show off to their friends. They didn’t compare fancy, schmancy handbags to have to feel validation. They didn’t care for all of the worthless things that society said we should invest in.

This is what we cared about the most:

1. True friendships not based on stuff

Children made friends naturally, not because they owned certain things that some else may or may not have.

2. Exploring and learning

Considering a child’s attention span, there’s no question that learning new things stimulated us, as well as exploring new places.

3. Having fun

Fun was the name of the game. Seriously, everything could be made into a game unless told otherwise.

4. Family

The simplicity of home and family made us happy, and allowed us to rest after a day of truly living.

Release the buried confidence

It seems that our childlike confidence has been forcibly buried, both by society’s judgment and our own adherence to said judgment. Well, I say now is the time to reclaim our confidence.

Really take these three steps to heart, as they will reopen a world that you once thought was lost.

1. Recreate life to suit you

Life is what you make of it. It doesn’t have to be a depressing sob story of you working a job you don’t like, you struggling to pay your bills, or you trying so hard to please people you can’t please. Mold your life into an inspiring story of confidence and passion, doing what you love to do.

Break away from routine for a bit. Do something out of wack. Get a little crazy.

2. Play kids games

It doesn’t matter what age you play a kid’s game; it’ll always be fun. If you have the courage to do something juvenile and enjoy it, you know you have confidence.

Grab some water guns and head for the beach. Play tic-tac-toe. If you’re really extreme, play tag.

3. Don’t buy more than the essentials

All we need in life is food, clothes, water, a computer, and a decent place to lay our heads. The rest of the things we buy are secondary. Opposed to what you may think, having more stuff just makes us more insecure. More things to keep track of means more stuff to spent your time managing.

Cut down the consumption and witness how less stressful life becomes.

As I look to the future, I envision a world where I won’t have to witness people buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. In this world, people are more secure and more confident. The way life plays out, we are born with nothing and we will die with nothing.

But that doesn’t mean we have to spend our lives feeling bad about it. To live a good life, you must embrace the childlike confidence that’s been inside you all this time.

Use it to live life to the fullest.
photo credit: northpolemama

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March 21, 2010

Get Rid of Bad Habits By Replacing Them With Better Ones

Everyone has bad habits that they know they shouldn’t be cultivating. Whether it’s something that’s just annoying and you can’t help but do (biting your nails used to be a big one for me), or whether it’s downright gross (picking your nose in public is nasty), bad habits can sometimes get the best of you.

As a college student, it’s easy to let bad habits manifest (like procrastinating), but I’ve gotten the best of them by simply replacing them with better habits.

Some thoughts for you before you check out my new habits:

Practice = habit

If you want to get good at something, make it a habit. For example, whenever I have a really interesting thought I’d like to share, I write a post about it. I’ve been doing this every week for almost a year.

Bad habits make you feel BAD

If you don’t know what a bad habit is, analyze your actions in this respect: the habits that are bad make you feel bad while you are doing them. Another example, procrastination, ALWAYS makes me feel like crap because I know what I’m doing feels wrong. If you don’t feel good doing something that you’re choosing to do, why do it?

Behavior change takes more than just word-of-mouth

You have to really want to change in order for change to occur. Writing down words and spouting empty promises does nothing to change who you are. It takes guts, practice, and ultimately, WILLPOWER. This is a prime example of willpower from my blogging buddy, Josh, over at The World’s Strongest Librarian.

Without further ado, here’s my list:

Given up – Watching television

What I do instead – I watch whatever I want online. I no longer have to wade through channel after channel waiting for something interesting to come on. Thank god for Youtube and Hulu.

Given up – Watch local news

What I do instead – I’ll spend a few minutes skimming the world news headlines, but read articles that are especially of interest

Given up - Multi-tasking (The stereotype that women are better multi-taskers has some truth to it)

What I do instead – It’s easier to do one thing at a time. I just can’t concentrate on lots of activities at once anymore. In end, I just feel like I’ve gotten nothing done.

Given up – Going on Facebook for hours everyday

What I do instead - Spend more time on Twitter and other quick social media outlets for maybe thirty minutes every few hours or so. I learn so much more on Twitter because everybody is sharing links and actually communicating, whereas Facebook just has people’s static profiles to look at.

Given up – Hanging out with people not worth my time

What I do instead – Get to know people who make me feel good about myself, inspire me to act, and are positive influences in my life.

Quick tip: Remember, your time is valuable. Don’t waste it.

Given up – Talking on the phone for close to an hour

What I do instead – Spending time on the phone is okay, but in general it’s not something that I particularly favor. If conversation end up being over an hour on the phone, you might as well go visit the person on the other end and talk face to face. I tend to stick with short messages over the web, but long phone convos if I haven’t heard from them in a while.

Given up – Biting my nails

What I do instead – I keep my nail clipper in more convenient spots (like in my side drawer). That way I can just clip them whenever I need to.

Given up – Sleeping until noon

What I do instead – I wake up bright and early every morning feeling really energized and ready to start the day. What they say about feeling productive in the morning isn’t a lie. You feel much more in control (and not like you’ve wasted an entire day).

Given up - Drinking only juice everyday; eating only junk food

What I do instead – When you think about it, it’s not that difficult to switch to drinking just water everyday. All you have to do is stop making juice and junk food accessible. Changing your eating habits is understandably much more difficult, but, again, it really all starts with what you buy.

Given up – Playing video games for hours on end everyday

What I do instead – I used to be a huge video game fanatic. Everyday would be spend investing hours into games that I would finish and the proceed to play again and again, just to get the same feelings of enjoyment and accomplishment. Of course, as the law of diminishing returns implies, I eventually would get bored and stop playing certain games for years. My alternative now is playing for maybe 7 or so hours in a day once every few months, or maybe 2 hours everyday for three days before stopping for a couple of weeks.

These are just a few examples, but what I’ve gained from replacing my habits is invaluable. I don’t feel like my habits are controlling me. I feel as if I’m living the way I WANT to live.

Any bad habits you’ve replaced recently? Tell me how you did it.
photo credit: rawbin underwater.

9 comments

March 12, 2010

How to Become a Master

Every truth that has ever been released into the world (either through specific people or literature, to name a couple) has been only able to have been done so by a master. The computer’s that we use, the clothes that we wear, the books that we read – they all have been created by individuals who KNOW their stuff.

I have a friend who is an incredible artist. If you show him a picture of a horse, he can throw together a near perfect sketch in just a few minutes. When people see his art, they are instantly amazed. They tell him that he has talent, that he is a genius, that he is a master. I agree with them; I too believe that he is a master, even at his ripe, old age of 20 years old.

There’s no way he can be a master, right? I mean, he’s so young! How can he possibly be so talented? These words went through my mind constantly, letting myself become envious of my friend the “genius” artist. So one day, I got up the courage to ask him how he became so talented. I walked up to his room, knocked on his door, glanced at his art after he let me in and asked, “You have to tell me…how did you get so good?” A modest man, my friend smiled. He did not feel the need to boast because he knew what it took to become as good of an artist as he was. In response, he said,

“Years of practice, John. Years of practice.”

Nobody is born with talent, but everyone is born with curiosity

My friend was not special. He had no advantage that I didn’t have. And yet, he was a master in his own right. He drew from a very young age, and continued draw for many years until art just came naturally to him. It became a part of him because he gave all of himself to such an interesting craft.

It’s kind of the same as me and writing. Now while I don’t consider myself a master writer (far from it, actually) I remember creating stories and drawing for as far back as I can remember. I recall having a knack at conveying emotion in both my art and my writing. But I remember telling myself when I was just starting out that drawing well was difficult and I would have to practice just to get fairly decent. I would eventually stop the drawing (I’m getting back into it over the summer), but writing was something that I could not give up.

This all came about because was just curious as to how words could constructed into a sentence so eloquently that it would bring forth emotion in someone else.

Little did I know that one day, I would use this “talent” to start my own blog.

Practice as much as you can

I understand now that to become a master requires you to first be a practitioner. Even if you aren’t good at your craft the first time, through repetition, understanding, and the integration of external knowledge you can obtain on your subject, you can eventually become a master:

“Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.” – Albert Einstein

Immerse yourself in the thing you want to be good at the most. Become better than anyone else by practicing longer than you think anyone else would practice. That’s really all it takes.

photo credit: Victor Bezrukov

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